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Bastet's Journal

Bastet,

Well, you can't say you didn't try for the cat at least.. never know until you try.

I so hear you this. You're anxious and want a little more comfort and maybe a bit of warmth/encouragement but it seems like it was met with politeness maybe but not a lot of connection . which could be many reasons.

So often , its so easy to feel like , if I ask I will be a burden and bother. and they will be annoyed and the inner critic goes on. so you just don't. I pushed myself a little last time to say , 'you know I think if you CAN still give me the local it would help" because that is what they usually do for crowns and what I was used to and he said I might not need it.. in anxious pt mode.. to me ". could have meant. lets do this quicker and get you out of here " but.. I have history with my dentist so can pretty much guess that isn't the reason, he's been very caring and taking his time with me every other appt in the past.. but the same way.. the "I'm a burden , I'm a bother". part of anxiety really likes to speak loudly. So its really really hard to ask for what we want .. its hard to ask for anything..

Glad you made it through the impressions.. even though it wasn't the best experience , like you say, it proved you surely could do it and make it through. those times are great to store up and remember.

"I was hoping for some words of encouragement, but he was silent. That really got to me for some reason. I felt bad for even asking. It turned out the impressions were fine. It wasn't the kind of material that oozed down my throat. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I guess because he didn't say anything to help me out. Most assistants tell me something they'll do to make it easier for me or coach me on breathing. I wish I could put into words how I felt. I guess I felt like I asked for help, and it wasn't acknowledged. I did thank him for not gagging me.

He asked if I needed nitrous for the second half of the appointment, and I said no. It was a mistake, because I had kind of a hard time, and in the state I was in, I didn't want to ask for anything again. I know that was my issue and had nothing to do with the dentist. I got through it though, and it's good to know that I can."
 
Thank you krlovesherkids777. I think you know just how I felt. I even went home that night and searched nitrous oxide and gagging just to make sure what I had wanted wasn't out of line. If the dentist had been in the room, she probably would have said something comforting, and it would have been easier for me. The silence was rough though.

Moving on. Next week is the endodontist.
 
Monday I had my root canal appointment. I miss the endodontist I had before, but this one was very nice as well. Her injections aren't as comfortable as his were, but they work as well as his did. She also used more technology than he did. Rotary tools, apex locator, microscope. I don't know if all of that equipment leads to better results, but it was interesting. I'm assuming it makes it physically easier for the dentist which is always good.

The tooth is sore when I bite down too hard, so I have to be careful. At least I don't have the temperature sensitivity anymore.

Overall a positive experience, and if I ever need an endodontist again, I will definitely request her.
 
This week I had an appointment to fill the access from my root canal and get my implant crown. It didn't go as I had hoped.

I thought the appointment would be fairly easy, so I opted not to have nitrous oxide. I did OK without it, but with the Isolite, I think I would have been happier with it.

The problem came with my implant crown. The dentist started to cement it in, and she told me to bite down as hard as could for five minutes. I remember thinking the first dentist wouldn't have asked me to do that. He would have remembered my past jaw issues and helped me.

Anyhow, I didn't do very well, and the crown shifted. The dentist had to section it off, and now it has to be redone. She didn't blame me, but I still feel bad about it. My dentist hopping led to this problem. I just couldn't stay with him though. I have a temporary crown there now. I'm glad to have a tooth there again.

On a lighter note, I saw a Facebook post from my dentist's office asking "have you ever wondered about getting a tooth tattoo?" Yes, I have actually, but your lab wouldn't do it. Haha. I'm guessing they use more than one lab, and the one they use for implant crowns doesn't do tooth tattoos.
 
Last week I went for my implant crown. I didn't get nitrous oxide, and the Isolite was hard for me again. I think for any appointments requiring the Isolite, I'm going to request nitrous oxide no matter how simple the appointment otherwise is. They can call it a tool to help me keep my mouth open all they want. To me it will always be an implement to force me to keep my mouth open.

I've been thinking about the implant and whether or not it was worth doing it rather than getting another bridge. If I had not already had a bridge, I would say, no question, it was worth it. Even as a bridge replacement, I think it was worth it. I wouldn't replace a bridge that didn't need to be replaced just to get an implant, but I'm glad I didn't get another bridge. The biggest pro is that it is a standalone tooth. I can floss it like a normal tooth. I feel like no matter how diligently I used floss threaders for the bridge, I could never do as well as I can now with unconnected teeth.

The biggest con is how light the occlusion is. I really have to train myself to chew over there because the other side is so much more efficient. On the bright side, realizing that has made me stop blaming myself for not being able to bite hard enough to keep the crown from slipping at the first appointment. I was putting so much force on the opposite side trying to keep force on the implant side that I just couldn't keep doing it.
 
Because getting my implant crown last month was the last thing on my treatment plan, I thought I'd circle back a bit to the beginning of my journal. It took over four years from the start of my journal to the completion of treatment. I never expected that. I was certain I would stick with Dr. #1 and be finished with treatment in about a year. I was in no way prepared for the way I was treated there, and I'm actually still shocked to think about it.

If I'm going to be honest with myself, I have to admit I wish Dr. #1 could still be my dentist. There were always things about his business practices that bothered me even before he hired Miss Charm, but he had a way of being kind and patient when he was treating me, and now I really know how hard that is to find. Back when I started going to him for the first time, years before this journal, he told me some anxious patients like him to work very quickly, and some like him to work nice and slow. He gave me the choice, and I picked nice and slow. He gave me breaks whenever I needed them, and I so much appreciated the opportunity to close my mouth for a second or two throughout treatment.

Dr. #3 is very nice, and I will likely stick with her. With the Isolite, she obviously has chosen to work quickly and does not give me the chance to close my mouth very often. It's hard. I have to do better, so I won't need so much work done or at least not so much at once. Nitrous oxide helps, so I will always request it if the Isolite is being used.

I don't have much to say about Dr. #2. I feel like his interest is more in sedation than in treating anxious patients per se, but at least he gives people who want sedation a place to go without giving a lot of attitude.

One thing I want to address is the beginning of my journal when I said my mom didn't take me to the dentist sometimes. I'm not blaming her. She did the best she could with what she had. If I want to blame any parent, I'll choose my father who abandoned his wife and three children with nothing.
 
I haven’t been writing because I’ve been feeling whiny, but I decided to put it all down is this journal anyhow. The reason I’m whiny is that while everyone at my dentist’s office is nice and non-judgmental, I don’t really feel a connection with anyone. I’m staying there for my own good, but I feel like something is missing.

Last month, I went for a cleaning. The hygienist said most everything looked really good, but she wants me to pay special attention to my upper left. She went on about it, and I realized that whatever I do, I’ll never be put on six-month recall. She will always find something. So then the little voice in my head was telling me if I look for another dentist, I could maybe find a connection and probably be put on six month recall.

She asked me again how I came to need all the work on my front teeth. I’ve told her on three separate visits that it was childhood neglect, and I just didn’t want to talk about it again. She asked if I had an accident or if I fell. I lied and said I fell. Then she asked me if that’s why I needed the work. I lied and said yes. I feel bad that I lied. I also think that if something that happened 40 years ago is that important, she should write it down. People don’t want to dredge up those kinds of memories every time they get their teeth cleaned.

She said she found a little crack in one of my crowns, but she called it a veneer, not a crown. It’s one of the things that bugs me about dental offices. It’s a full crown over a gold post. When they call it a veneer, it makes me think they aren’t forthcoming when they talk to patients considering cosmetic dentistry about how much tooth structure will be removed. To me, a veneer is much more conservative than a crown.

Anyhow, she said she found a crack, but it wasn’t clinically detectable. Well, obviously it was, or she wouldn’t have detected it. I think she meant she couldn’t feel it with her explorer. She said if it fractures, it’s really important to call them right away, and she went on about that. Yes, it’s important, but hardly the calamity she was making it out to be. She said the long-term prognosis of that type of restoration is not good. Well, the 40 plus years I’ve had it sounds good to me.

She said since I am stable, we can talk about some cosmetic things. I didn’t ask to talk about any cosmetic things. The main thing that bothered me about Dr. 1’s office when I was there the first time was the way they’d sell cosmetic things. They’d point out something they found unesthetic and told me they could fix it. It made me self-conscious. Now I feel like the same thing is happening at this office, though not so forcefully. She said I have visible restorations on my bottom front teeth. I told her no one could see them, so I would leave them. Then she mentioned the crowding in the same spot and said I was a candidate for Invisalign. I am? Two separate orthodontists told me I would need orthognathic surgery if I had orthodontics. Maybe there is a cosmetic option to just move those bottom front teeth, but it hardly seems worth it to me.

She recommended a bite guard. I told her I have an old NTI that I still use, but not always. She told me an NTI can change my bite. Yes, it can, and it did years ago when I got it. It’s not like someone is going to have an NTI then suddenly 15 or 20 years later it’s going to cause a bite change.

As an aside, the NTI is why I have a soft spot for Dr. 1 despite everything that has happened. Before I went to him years ago, I went to the dentist who told me I would either need a root canal or an extraction and implant for my wisdom tooth. I really wish I had questioned that. Anyhow, I got the root canal and after I received the crown, I started having horrible muscle pain in my face. Dr. 1 helped me with an NTI, and I mean he went above and beyond. I was calling there every week with pain, and he always fit me in. I was so miserable, but he eventually got me out of pain. When we were finished, I wrote him a thank you note. I told him I would wake up in the morning and wonder not *if* I would be in pain that day but how much pain I would be in that day. It’s really hard for me that things ultimately turned out the way they did.

Anyhow, my NTI is really old and kind of gross, so I decided to try a conventional bite guard. An assistant took the scan for me. I was so happy when I found out they didn’t need regular impressions, but it turned out the scan was hard for me. The assistant was really great about it, and I appreciated it. The scan does have an advantage for me, because it can be pulled out of my mouth as soon as I start having trouble, and impressions really can’t be.

A couple weeks later, I went back to get the guard. I was told they needed to take a bite registration for the lab. As a highly anxious patient, I was not happy they didn’t tell me ahead of time, so I could prepare mentally. It tells me they don’t take my fears as seriously as I would like. The bite registration was easy, but I was anxious about the unexpected change.

Last week, I got the guard. I had a different assistant, and she said she knew I came in once before, but she had a good feeling this one would work. Yes, I was in before for the bite registration, but they didn’t actually redo the bite guard. It makes me wonder what kind of records they keep. I have to go back next week to have it checked, and I hope that’s it until my next cleaning.

I obviously had a lot to say. I’m nitpicking as much as the hygienist. Ha ha.
 
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I never updated my journal for my bite guard follow up appointment, so I will now. It had been seven weeks since I paid for the guard, and two weeks since I received it when an assistant gave me an informed consent form. Classic.

I told the assistant I was having some soreness. She went to get the dentist. He's not my regular dentist, but when he walked in, he told me it was good to see me. I knew who he was, but he had never met me before.

I started thinking it's no wonder I'm not making connections here. I don't think they really want to. They treat people well, but there's no real connection. Maybe that's better. I felt a connection at Dr. 1's office, and it ended up hurting me. I would never have been so upset if I hadn't connected before.

Anyhow, I liked this doctor, so now I know I would be OK with either of the doctors in the practice. He worked a bit on my bite guard, and I'm doing better with it, but I still prefer the NTI. It's OK though. I'll keep on with this one until I destroy it in my sleep. Haha.

I just ordered a Sonic Fusion toothbrush. I'll still floss manually, but the geek in me wants to see if it works. Next month is a hygiene appointment, so I'll get the hygienist's feedback on it.
 
I haven't posted here for such a long time. The pandemic really interrupted things for me. I went back to the dentist for the first time in almost two years this week. I'm feeling very stressed and anxious now.

The first thing is I fell back into old habits and had a lot of tartar build up again. I saw a different hygienist this time, and she was very nice about it. I feel bad for letting myself down, but I was not shamed at all at the office.

Another thing is that one of my decades old root canals has given up. Before going to the appointment, I prepared myself to be told I need an extraction and a replacement. My dentist referred me to a practice that is very inconvenient for me, and she said it's because there is both an endodontist and an oral surgeon there, and my care would be coordinated. The thing is, that tooth already had an apicoectomy decades ago. I don't want any heroics. It's not that I don't care. It's just that I want to be realistic.

She said if the endodontist decides the tooth can't be retreated, I would get an extraction and an implant. Even though I was prepared for this and would want an implant, I felt very uncomfortable right then. I felt like she was giving me an order rather than recommending care, and I really need to be the one making decisions for myself. Besides, maybe I want to decide I wouldn't even want to consider retreatment, and I don't need the endodontist at all. I suspect she just doesn't want me to go back to the doctor who placed my first implant so creatively. Haha.

She went on though and said they have been watching the decalcification on my bottom teeth and when I'm finished with the specialists I have to get all porcelain down there. Whoa. That came out of nowhere. Last time I was there, they were trying to sell me limited Invisalign to straighten out just my lower front teeth.

I don't want to get crowns there. It's not even just the phobia. I really don't want to do it. Again, I felt like she was ordering me as if she didn't think it's my decision to make. The bad thing is, I just sat there nodding my head yes. I'm so afraid if I go back there, I won't speak up for myself. I have to at least get other opinions before I do anything.

I was expecting to be happy I finally went through that appointment, and now I feel like I have a big weight on me. Well, enough rambling.
 
It has been a long time again. I haven't had any treatment since I wrote my last post. I didn't see the specialist that was recommended. I canceled the hygiene appointment I was supposed to have in February 2022. In addition to the February appointment, they had scheduled one in June. They broke that one and said I should call to reschedule. I didn't. They texted me a couple times, and I wrote back and said I was not going to reschedule. I got a text asking if there was anything they could have done differently. I didn't reply, and that was that.

The failed root canal is still the same, and another tooth has been bothering me. In the past few weeks I decided to try to find another dentist. I thought I knew whom I wanted to see, but as I was looking through her website, I saw someone who used to work at the office of the first dentist I wrote about. She wasn't the horrible one, but still, I decided to hold off on this dentist.

The next one I considered is really close to where I work. Their marketing is the type that could really pull me in, so I made sure to search some reviews. A few people wrote that there is a lot of dentist turnover as newly-graduated dentists come and go. I decided it wouldn't be the best choice for me.

The next one I found just going through the ADA website. Not much marketing, and just a simple website, but I thought maybe that's the direction I need to go. I checked some reviews, and someone wrote that the doctor and her staff use shaming language. Yikes! I'm so appreciative of that review. That is the biggest dealbreaker there is for me.

The failed root canal is right in front, and I admitted to myself there are some cosmetic things I would like to do with my mixed and matched crowns on my front teeth. I looked at a dentist with some strong cosmetic dentistry credentials. I felt very unsure, because I was afraid I wouldn't fit in there. There was a place on the website where I could request a consultation appointment. Since that is way easier for me than making a phone call, I decided to try. I figured if I don't like it there, I just won't go back. With a consultation, there is really no commitment. I filled out the form, and within five minutes, I received a call. I made the appointment for about three weeks later.

I went earlier this week. The first thing I noticed is that they *really* make sure you understand their financial policies. I admit it was off-putting, but it probably stems from experience. Not a dealbreaker.

I liked the dentist. While I need to take care of the teeth that have issues first, we talked about my cosmetic interests. I told him I wanted close up some spaces that had opened, and he told me he suspected I have a tongue thrust, and he would recommend a retainer if I get the cosmetic work. He asked me to swallow and see what my tongue does, and yes I think he's right. He looked at my crowns and said it looked like three different dentists did them. Nailed it! He said I should treat the tooth on the bottom that my last dentist said was decalcification. It's a full cavity now. My last dentist had also said I need to get several crowns on my bottom teeth because of my decalcification issues. This dentist said if I wanted to do anything cosmetically on the bottom, he would recommend whitening and some orthodontics to straighten out my rotated tooth. He didn't say anything about doing a bunch of crowns down there. It was a consultation and not an exam, but I'm hoping he doesn't change his opinion about that.

He told me I take good care of my gums and asked me if my last dentist told me that. No. No, she didn't. That comment was so motivating. I hope his hygienist feels the same when I see her.

I agreed to a 3-D radiograph, so he could see what was going on with the teeth that are bothering me. Even though he does endodontics himself, he decided to refer me to a specialist. The specialist is not in a convenient location, but more convenient than the one the last dentist recommended. Anyhow, I'm going to roll with it.

The best thing about this appointment is that the dentist didn't bat an eye at all the work I've had done. I haven't gotten the "How did all this happen" question from anyone yet.

My next step is to call the endodontist. I am tentatively optimistic that I am on a good path right now.
 
Welcome back @Bastet, that all sounds very promising! Keeping my fingers crossed that the new dentist, endodontist, and hygienist are all keepers. Please let us know how you get on!
 
Thanks @letsconnect !

****************

Last week the dentist's office emailed me the treatment plan with the prices. It includes both the needs and the wants, and the price is about what I was expecting.

I still haven't scheduled anything. I finally emailed back this weekend and said that I'm always anxious about dental treatment, I move very slowly, and I would get back to them. I got a reply today saying that sounded good, and if I had any questions or wanted to schedule an appointment, I should let them know. I'm glad they aren't being pushy, but I would feel "safer" if they had acknowledged what I said about being anxious.

I wonder what would happen if I emailed them and said I wanted to go to an endodontist that I already know. I know there's only one way to find out, but I'm not feeling up to it today.
 
I felt so sure I was going to get things going when I wrote that post on the 15th, but I still haven't done anything. Part of it is that I'm busy at work, and since I can't just walk to the recommended endodontist, I've been hesitant to take the time off.

It's more than that though. Something is holding me back. We were on the same page, so I was agreeable, but what if we weren't on the same page? Would it be a struggle for me to communicate with him? I'm afraid it would be.

I am seriously considering making an appointment at the dentist I first intended to contact even though there is someone from Dr. 1's office there now. Who knows? Maybe she switched jobs because she wanted a different vibe.

I'm considering a cosmetic component now, and it's not unheard of to get opinions from more than one dentist for cosmetic work. She also has strong cosmetic credentials. Her positive reviews make her sound so kind, I think I don't want to deny myself the chance to see what she is like.

I may be talking myself into it.
 
I've calmed down again. I'm not sure why all that extra anxiety came on this week, but I'm back to wanting to follow through with the dentist I saw last month. He didn't do anything to make me think he will start to treat me unkindly. Yes, he had some of that cosmetic dentistry salesmanship going, but it didn't feel like the type designed to make me feel bad about myself.

My plan now is to call the endodontist's office Monday to schedule something. I already told my boss I would need to go to an office that's a few miles away and I would be away from my computer for longer than usual when I go on my dental adventures, and he doesn't have an issue with it.

In case anyone besides me is reading this, I'm not seeing the endodontist for the failed root canal (failed after over 40 years, so no complaints). That one will be an extraction and implant. I'm seeing him for the other tooth that is bothering me.

I can't believe I started this journal in 2014, and I'm still looking for a dentist. Hmm. I wonder if it could be me. Haha. It's OK. I'm in way better shape than I was back then.
 
I went to see the endodontist this week for a consultation. We talked about the tooth that is bothering me, the one that is planned for an implant, and the one from years ago that the endodontist I was seeing at the time told me I would probably be asked to get checked whenever I see a new dentist.

I liked him. He is big on patient education and presenting all options - including doing nothing. He didn't recommend doing nothing, but it shows he respects his patients' autonomy.

I am scheduled for root canal treatment on the tooth that is bothering me. The one in front he agreed needs to be extracted, and the other one I decided to keep watching unless it changes.

After the root canal, I will either have to have the crown replaced or filled. I'm hoping we can save the crown for a while, but I'll do whatever my dentist recommends. It will be good to have an appointment for one tooth before jumping into a long appointment for the other things.

I went back and read through my journal. I saw I wrote that if the crowns Dr. #2 did were still bothering me esthetically in a few years, I would have them replaced. Yes, they are still bothering me. I wonder if that shade was as close as he could get using Cerec or if he just didn't think it was important. I think Cerec is really cool technology, but maybe it's not the best for the smile area.

Anyhow...

I'll probably write again after the root canal treatment.
 
Hope your root canal goes well, sounds like a good endo thats respectful of the patients. Let us know how it goes. :)
 
I went back to the endodontist last week for my root canal. It was a long appointment. He had trouble finding one of the canals, so I think I was at the office in total for about two hours. They told me it could be that long when I made the appointment, but I didn't really think it would be. The anesthetic was starting to wear off, but because I only had some minor discomfort, and I didn't want more anesthetic, I didn't say anything. If I had started having significant pain, I would have said something. I was sore for several days, but it has calmed down now.

My dentist's office sent me an email within hours after the appointment to let me know I need to schedule some time to have the access sealed. That freaked me out a little. I didn't even reply until last night, and I only said I would call them. I still didn't call though. My goal is to call by Thursday.
 
I just want to write a quick update, because I did schedule an appointment for a few weeks from now. My call went to voicemail, so I left a message. As soon as I hung up I received an automated text message from the office, and someone called me within the hour. They sure seem to have a strong customer service orientation.

So now I just have to wait, and I hope I don't dwell on it too much.
 
I had my appointment today, and it was weird.

First of all, I don't know if the dentist realizes how loudly he speaks. I know the patient before me was there for a cosmetic consultation. I know her first name. I know what she does for a living. I know where she works. I know her cosmetic treatment plan. I know her alternate cosmetic treatment plan. I know she was considering orthodontics, but the dentist forgot that, and now the woman at the front desk has to email the patient to see if she is still considering that. In short, I know too much.

I was called back, and one of the things the dentist asked me was if I was there to talk more about my treatment plan. Uh, no. I'm here to either get my access filled or talk about getting my crown replaced. You know, like the email you had your front desk person send me said. I've never in my life had a doctor's appointment where they didn't know why I was there. Then he told me the endodontist recommended replacing the crown. OK, but if he already knew that, why didn't they just have me schedule for a crown? Now, I have to make another appointment when I'm ready to get the crown. I received a long-term temporary filling today, so you can bet I'm going to get my money's worth out of that thing before I get the crown.

He asked me if I liked the endodontist and I said yes. He told me the endodontist is low-key and caring, and he's not like that, but he thinks he has to work harder. At that point, I wanted to say what the (for the purposes of this internet forum I'll say "heck") are you talking about? I didn't say anything.

As I wrote in another of my entries, I don't really like it when a dentist and assistant have little chit chats going on that aren't related to me while they are working on me. It should be all about meeee! Haha. Today was especially bad though, because he was ranting about a new employee who isn't learning her job fast enough, and it sounds like he's not going to keep her. I was so uncomfortable. I can't imagine she didn't hear him if I heard so much about his first patient. He eventually apologized to me, but then he kept doing it and told his assistant not to make excuses for her.

He started talking about my gums looking good again, and it got to the point where I was thinking he's just trying to build a rapport, so I will be comfortable accepting a big treatment plan. It has been over a year and a half since I had my teeth cleaned, and even at my best, I know I build calculus quickly. In all this time, I have not always been at my best. He kept on, and I blurted out that what he was saying was surprising, because that's not what my last dentist said. Then he backpedaled and said I have some spots that need some attention, and he asked me if I didn't think that since my previous dentist pointed some things out to me I started to take better care of them. I said that I didn't think so (because I'm not). He kind of laughed and said OK. Then he said he's a gum surgeon and people there are held more accountable. Again, what the "heck" are you talking about? Accountable to whom? They're my teeth. I'm accountable to myself.

At this point, I don't know if I should get a consultation with the other dentist I was thinking about or let him replace that crown so I can get more journal material. :)
 
I was so snarky in my last post, and maybe that's not fair. There were good things about the appointment. He was nice to me and really good about the things that bother me most (not setting off my gag reflex, controlling the water well). I could tell that's just naturally the way he works, and there was no struggle for me there. It was just such a weird situation, and I was really on edge about it.
 
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