Been offered dentist but can't do it

[miss_scared]

I am absolutely terrified! I have been on the NHS waiting list since February and was told it would be 9 months till I get an appointment. I have just had the letter through today to say I have been offered a place and unfortunately at a place I was hoping I'd never get offered. It's reputation isn't great and my sister goes to this dentist as no other option and she said they are horrendous and like being butchered with the needle!

I have a huge huge needle phobia and I cannot feel pain from an injection in my gum, I just can't but apparantly they don't offer numbing gel or sedation, both of which I would need. Also they like you in and out very quick as basically only NHS dentist taking people on so very very busy. I need someone understanding, willing to take their time, realise I can't have treatment as quickly as someone with no phobia but I can't afford to go private and get that. This place is my only option.

Plus I am so so embarrassed. My 2 front top teeth have virtually decayed away so I have filled the top myself because they were so loose and would have fallen out a year ago but again I had no dentist and no one taking on. How do I tell my dentist that and not be ashamed or picked on about it? Plus I know if he was to take the filling out my teeth would fall out there and then and I couldn't deal with that.

I suffer from anxiety, social anxiety and panic attacks so the hell am I ever going to get to the dentist? I won't even let him poke my teeth as they do at first appointment as I hate that feeling and have 4 loose teeth that I know if he scratched it they would fall out.

I just don't know what to do, I just cannot make that appointment even with how low and fed up of my teeth I feel. I've already been told I need extensive orthdontic work as well and will need referral to the hospital

 

[Sevena]

Hey there. I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know how you feel, was in almost the exact same situation myself not so long ago.

I'm not sure where in the UK you are, and what services are actually available, but I managed to get my work done by getting an appointment with an anxiety clinic at a dental hospital in a nearby city. I went to my doctor, and she referred me. Perhaps you could ask your doctor if there is a sedation clinic you could be referred to? Also explain how much you really need the treatment.

Keep in touch! x

 

[miss_scared]

Thanks Sevena for your reply

I am in Blackpool and nothing like that in our area, have looked into it myself and I think unless I can pay to go private going to be virtually impossible for me to get sedation

I feel so silly as my teeth are ruining my life (along with many other things) but I cannot no matter how bad things are make myself go. I just don't know how to do it. I have panics in a drs waiting room as I am terrible near people I don't know. Plus the pain of the treatment which will be extensive as have overcrowding, very high pallet, 4 wisdom teeth needing taking oout, 2 front ones I don't think will be able to be saved. I cannot deal with so much treatment with my dental phobia let alone social anxiety

 

[Colin65]

What about being referred to hospital by your GP/dentist to have work done under general anaesthetic?

 

[Sevena]

Honestly, you need to talk to your doctor. It's not your fault you have anxiety, but you need the work done, and they can help you find a way. I had my work done under a general anasthetic. Trust me, I understand how you feel, I was in the exact same place. Talk to your doctor, explain that you have severe anxiety, and they can refer you. The clinic I was referred to I could not have found myself! It wasn't advertised anywhere. There wasn't a phone number for it. I had to be referred, I believe. I can understand being nervous about the doctor too, but in this case, you're just going to explain what's wrong and ask to be referred somewhere. Your doctor might not know exactly where to refer you to (mine didn't!) but tell them to look into it, if that's the case, and there should be a referral form.

 

[Spike 1969]

Hi there

Sorry to hear you are in this situation.

My thought is you should speak to your dentist, perhaps it is possible to get a referral to a dental hospital to have the work done there either under sedation or General Anaesthetic as Colin has suggested (you have dental hospitals in both Manchester and Liverpool in your area).

Alternatively, your dentist might be able to refer you to a dentist who specialises in treating nervous people.

Its worth calling or emailing them before you go to the dental office.

hope you are able to get sorted soon.

Kind Regards

 

[miss_scared]

Thank you everyone for your replies

I will have to pluck up the courage tomorrow to call them but not sure what to say to the receptionist about my phobia etc

I won't be able to travel to Manchester or Liverpool as I don't drive and suffer from social phobia so I never go out of Blackpool and walk everywhere as I am not great on public transport

I couldn't do GA but would like to try treatment under IV sedation and I know barely any NHS dentists offer this now and I cannot afford to pay to go private.

God I feel so stupid! It's the initial fear of panick just in the room then the fear of the pain of needles as I have heard the front teeth are agony to inject, then I fear the actual treatment, feeling the drill and because my teeth at the top aren't great the fear of them drilling and my tooth actually falling out. My fear if so deep rooted (no pun intended) and I am petrified.

 

[Spike 1969]

Hi

Firstly, well done for getting this far with things, you are not being silly at all. Fear is a perfectly natural thing and it acts as a self-preservation mechanism and stops us putting ourselves in danger, it's when it goes into overdrive due to past experiences, other influences it becomes a major issue for us. A few years ago just walking past a dental surgery would bring me out in a cold sweat.

Great idea to contact the practice beforehand, if they have an email address it's often good to write down your fears and questions as I tend to find I forget most of what I wanted to say/ask.

Also, one of the dentists on here has suggested that it's best to deal with the easiest possible things to treat and build up some trust with a new dentist (which is what I'm doing with my new dentist even though he has been amazing thus far ). Dentistry has come a really long way from 10 years ago, pretty much all procedures can be done totally pain free.

one final thing, if you go to one of the few practices where the staff are not nice, you as the customer are perfectly within your rights to walk away. Don't forget that we are in control and that helps me a lot. The last thing you want to do is risk making your fears worse; best to walk away and find a kind, caring sympathetic dentist even if you have to travel (there are always ways of dealing with getting there, etc. if necessary). Most dentists nowadays understand our fears and can help us out in overcoming them.

Hope that you get sorted soon, please keep us posted.

Kind Regards

 

[Colin65]

I have had lots of injections to numb my front teeth recently I can honestly say all I felt was the needle touch the skin but no more than that whatsoever - definitely no pain. I too was dreading the drill but again my dentist used a gentle drill (not the rough bumpy one) for all my fillings and I felt very little, I was genuinely surprised about the whole experience which you can read in my journal.
I'm due to have 2 more fillings in Sept and I'm not apprehensive about it at all now, which is something I never thought I'd feel.

 

[Sevena]

Are there any family members/friends you can ask for help and support? Things like getting them to call for you, go with you to the appointments, speak for you if you get too nervous to speak?

When calling them, it might help to write down the points you need to make before picking up the call, so that if you panic and mind-blank, you can just look at the piece of paper and read it off. (You can also do this when going to appointments.)

Are you in any kind of therapy? I understand that leaving the house to go to appointments is a big struggle for you, but that could really help. They can teach you coping mechanisms to better manage your anxiety.

I know what it's like to sit and dwell on the fact you need dental work done when you're phobic and have anxiety. It becomes an honest-to-God Mt Everest in your head, an impossible hurdle. It is never as bad as we imagine it to be, though. Try stay positive, you'll find a way through this!

 

[miss_scared]

Well the email was pointless, got no reply!

So called and basically got told they offer no sedation and a very busy practice as virtually where everyone gets sent off the nhs waiting list. It was a basic either go or don't. Not very supportive, receptionist offered no support and didn't seem to really care

So do I risk making appointment with them after that and knowing they don't offer sedation anyway as I cannot do it without or do I go back on the waiting list and risk my teeth falling out in the next up to 9 months? I just am so so upset. If I could afford to go private I can assure you I would go now but I can't as I am living on minus £10 a month right now and getting my debts sorted.

Plus last 2 weeks my teeth have been clicking like crazy, can feel them clicking out then going back in Using corsodyl, brushing 3x a day with sensodyne repair and protect

I feel I really am at a loss

 

[jblack000]

i suggest that you go, but also do not let the dentist do any work on you unless you want them to. at the end of the day it is your choice and they are not allowed to pressure you.
you should explain to the dentist everything you are feeling about this and judge how they respond, if you do not like them then you can just leave, never feel pressured into going through with treatment as they cannot do anything unless you tell them they can.
good luck to you whatever you decide.

 

[Spike 1969]

i suggest that you go, but also do not let the dentist do any work on you unless you want them to. at the end of the day it is your choice and they are not allowed to pressure you.
you should explain to the dentist everything you are feeling about this and judge how they respond, if you do not like them then you can just leave, never feel pressured into going through with treatment as they cannot do anything unless you tell them they can.
good luck to you whatever you decide.

Yes, this is a very good idea. If the dentist and staff at the practice attitude is not understanding and respectful, you should walk away and ask for a referral as they are not suitable for you. As the customer, the service they provide should be right for you. As a back up plan, is there a dental access centre in Blackpool that you might be able to go to that's any good?

Kind Regards

 

[miss_scared]

Yes, this is a very good idea. If the dentist and staff at the practice attitude is not understanding and respectful, you should walk away and ask for a referral as they are not suitable for you. As the customer, the service they provide should be right for you. As a back up plan, is there a dental access centre in Blackpool that you might be able to go to that's any good?

Kind Regards

It's the Dental Access waiting list I have been given this appointment with

I cannot go and see another rude uncaring dentist, took me years to pluck up the courage to go to the last one and it set me back years when he was rude Been told this is a very busy place and if i don't go to this one there are no other NHS dentists taking on, the only other option is private which I don't have. But no point going to see this one as they don't offer sedation and with my dental phobia, social anxiety and panic attacks I cannot have any treatment without sedation I don't even have the £200 it would cost for each time I needed sedating

 

[Mugz]

I'm so very sorry you are under such stress at the moment. I don't know much about the NHS dental system other than what I've read on this site so I won't pretend to have those answers for you. What I do know all too well is the fear. Very well. And the overwhelming panic. And the pain of having untreated teeth for 10 years.

On a few occasions, my experience has been more disappointing with the "gatekeepers" (receptionists, schedulers, office staff) than it has with the actual dentist. I've gotten upset when I felt they were being short with me, or too pushy, or impatient when I was trying to decide what day and time to choose. Unless you luck out with an "unusual professional" on the other end, most don't really "get" the phobia thing or care to. They are just doing their job...answering phones or scheduling. Caring isn't part of their job description. The dentists, however, may be totally different than the impression being given by the receptionist staff. In fact, most would be very upset to learn potential patients were being treated this way if they only knew. Spike is right when he says you are the customer.

I can recall, about 10 years ago, being in tears before a cleaning and physically cringing through the lecture I was getting from the hygienist. The dentist actually came over and, in front of me, firmly said to her, "None of that is important. What matters is she is here, so we just welcome her." And turned to me and said, "We are just glad you are here. No lectures."

I hope that you do go to your appointment and at least talk to the dentist and hear what he has to say. He won't touch you and if you don't care for him or what he has to say, out the door you go BUT...what if you have the same good luck as Spike who finally found a dentist that is a "keeper" ? What if he is someone who knows a way to get you the sedation you need? You have nothing to lose by going in, talking and listening to options and hopefully ways they can help you.