Been to dentist once in 35 years, in constant pain, this can't go on

[scaredygill]

I've been reading some of the marvellous stories of peoples successes and have come to the point when I need to do something, anything.
Completely phobic, due to childhood trauma, I went 20 years without going to the dentist. Taking well over the recommended dose of painkillers my Dad picked me up from work one day and took me to his dentist (I was in my 30's at this point) Dentist was really good, and all I needed was one filling. Not enough to make me want to go back regularly though.
I never even took my son when he was small, my parents had to take him for me, I couldn't walk into the surgery, even just to collect him.
I've tried to keep my teeth in good condition, and am lucky that generally they're OK and the front ones look OK. I have a really strong gag reflex and cleaning the very back teeth has been a problem. Now they have started to collapse and my breath is probably quite bad.

About a month ago I was in acute pain, but managed it with painkillers. Its now come back and no amount of over the counter painkillers keeps it at bay for more than an hour. I haven't eaten for a couple of days as biting down on the back teeth is EXTREMELY painful.

My sister has offered to go with me to the dentist, but the mere thought of the phone call is making me sick.
NHS dentists in this area are quite rare, and at the moment none are taking on new patients.

I've no idea what I'm asking here having finally plucked up the courage to post.

Thanks for reading

 

[chickenjen]

Hi, scaredygill.
I been EXACTLY where you are now.......4 years ago (before that I had not been to a dentist in 23 years). It took a toothache that bothered me every day for a WHOLE year for me to finally get up the courage to call a dentist. The toothache was constantly there, sometimes a mild ache, sometimes an ache that would keep me up all night. OTC pain-relievers weren't doing much for me, either. So I found this forum, and read the success stories and then I finally posted on here. Everyone here was great, words of wisdom from people that KNEW exactly how I felt!!
When you get the courage to go to the dentist (notice I said when, and not if), you will survive!! It really is a matter of getting the right dentist that suits your personality and needs. The problem is that might take some "shopping around", not easy for people like us. Dentistry has come a long way and you should expect to be treated painlessly and with respect..............anything less means you need to get a new dentist!!
Someone will always be here to listen, sympathize, and encourage you!!! If you need support to guide you through your dental journey, you've definitely come to the right place!!!
Keep us posted of your progress!!
Many 's and again, !!!!!!

 

[biffo1963]

You are where I was 25 years ago; I hadn't been to a dentist for 23 years, most of my back teeth were black stumps and I could expect an abscess regularly at least once a year. I finally got fed up with the pain and the lost weeks and asked my wife to get me in with the family dentist ( i.e. the one that she and my son attended. )

Unsurprisingly I needed a lot of treatment, but to my amazement I had no problems with it at all and all the fear seemed to evaporate after the first extraction. Nowadays I am the one that takes myself off to the dentist without a second thought while the rest of the family fret and moan about having to go.

Best decision I ever made - I really have no idea exactly what the preceding 23 years were about !

 

[carol999]

Hi there and many congrats for getting this far. Many of us suffered childhood trauma at the hands of awful dentists and consequently decided not to go to the dentist as adults which means that our fears are the fears of much younger children. Trying to stay in 'adult mode' is really important, keep telling yourself that you are a grown up now and you are in control of your own health. Don't ignore the child within but try not to take her to the dentist with you. One other thing that is probably the most important on this journey back to health and that is finding the right dentist. It is worth taking time and shopping around and ask them how they work with dental phobia. I can only cope if I am IV sedated and that is even for cleaning ! But for now that's fine so long as I get the work done. You could ask your GP if they know of any specialist dentist that work with dental phobics. Good luck and once again well done for getting here because it is one step closer to there!

 

[scaredygill]

Thanks folks. I've been in tears just thinking about it, but know that people have been through the same. Friends saying "everyone's scared of the dentist" just don't understand.

I remembered though that actually, I've been to the dentist TWICE in 35 years. And wondering why I've blanked it out.
I went about 12 years ago, friend recommended this dentist as having been really good to her, so I went. Admittedly I had been in pain from a missing filling.
Initially seemed OK, dentist said that we'd take everything slowly and if ever I felt uncomfortable just to tap the chair and she'd stop. This was only a check up, no intention of having any work done. But after I'd made her stop a couple of times, in a very exasperated voice she said " we'll never get anything done at this rate" - at which point I got up. She walked out with me and told the receptionist that the next appointment would need to be at least 3 hours! I never went back after that visit either.

I've a suspicion that the hardest thing will be finding an NHS dentist that is prepared to take the time. I can't afford private treatment. Well, actually, maybe I can, I have no idea what it costs.

 

[Kim]

I will answer you hunni - I am getting in a personal pickle about going back to work tomorrow, but there are things I would like to say, don't think I am ignoring you - will get back to you soon xx