Beyond Anxious

[Winston3590]

Hi there!
I’m a 31 year old man that hasn’t been to the dentist since I was about 14-15 years old. Growing up, good dental hygiene wasn’t a priority for my family. I do recall some dental experiences in my pre teen years but nothing that I ever followed through with since then. I have had teeth break off, abscesses, and lately I’ve had this strange feeling that a couple of my top teeth that are visible when my mouth is open are going to fall out. I’m not sure why or if it’s actually going to happen but it’s been scary enough to force me into wanting to do something about it-despite my fear of the dentist. I have had good dental insurance for at least the last 5 years and still haven’t brought myself to go. I’ve looked up which providers accept ny insurance within an hour’s drive radius of home and have tried reaching out to a few of their office by phone and email after work today, but reached a few voicemails (I did leave messages), requested an appointment online from one, and was told another wasn’t accepting any new patients until NEXT year! Beyond frustrating. Finally worked up the nerve to make some calls and struck out across the board. Now I wait until tomorrow to see which offices respond and if I can still muster the strength to speak to any of them. Feel defeated and extremely anxious.

 

[KMT]

Hi Winston,

So sorry to hear about your unfortunate luck with those calls — I know how difficult it is just to work up the courage to call at all, so to strike out multiple times must be extremely taxing!

Sending thoughts and hope for better luck tomorrow your way. Good for you for being brave enough to take the first step toward better dental health, and I hope you find a great dentist soon!

 

[Enarete]

Hi Winston3590,

well done on not letting the bad news from that one practice stop you from looking for other options. You're on the right path!

Deciding to start to look for a dentist despite your fear is a huge decision and it takes a lot of courage and energy. At that stage, any additional small roadblock can make you feel defeated, just because it's so hard and scary already anyway. But rest assured, that setbacks belong to the process and the most people need to try out few offices until they find one. With that being said, it's great that you go on anyway and made further calls!

Fingers tightly crossed for you to get some good news today. Keep us posted!

 

[Winston3590]

Thanks for the support everyone. I’ve continued to strike out today, but did end up speaking to a super helpful receptionist at a clinic about an hour’s commute from me that I scheduled a cleaning and X-rays with for July 30th as that was the soonest available appointment. Hoping to find something closer before then, but at least there’s something on the books in the meantime. Did make sure to let them know it’s been 15+ years since I’ve been to a dentist and that I’m beyond nervous. Now to follow through…??

 

[Enarete]

Heyyy, look at you, well done!
Glad the receptionist was helpful. Will they let you know if someone cancels or are you looking for other practices to get something earlier?

 

[Winston3590]

Heyyy, look at you, well done!
Glad the receptionist was helpful. Will they let you know if someone cancels or are you looking for other practices to get something earlier?

Hoping to get in sooner/ somewhere closer but wanted to get something on the books in the meantime. I’ve still been calling/emailing everywhere that I can find, including some out of network providers. Just want to get the first appointment behind me before I chicken out.. again. And I’m not sure if it’s stress, nerves, etc but ever since I started this process of trying to get in somewhere my teeth have been hurting basically non stop- even though they’re far from perfect (have several broken and/or missing teeth)… consistent pain like it’s been is out of the ordinary for me

 

[Enarete]

And I’m not sure if it’s stress, nerves, etc but ever since I started this process of trying to get in somewhere my teeth have been hurting basically non stop- even though they’re far from perfect (have several broken and/or missing teeth)… consistent pain like it’s been is out of the ordinary for me

I have one tooth that regularly starts hurting really badly whenever I'm preoccupied with dental fear. It got checked so many times and is fine and the pain always disappears magically once I'm fine with dentist again, so I by now have accepted it as phantom pain due to anxiety. So maybe it's something similar in your case.

 

[Winston3590]

Well, my nerves are about 4837372 worse now but it needs to happen. Finally managed to get through to a provider within walking distance from my house and have an appointment scheduled for a week from today at 915 am instead of 60 miles away on 7/30. ?

 

[Enarete]

Hey, this sounds like great news (probably doesn‘t feel 100% like that though). Will be thinking of you on Thursday. Does your provider know you‘re anxious?

 

[Winston3590]

Hey, this sounds like great news (probably doesn‘t feel 100% like that though). Will be thinking of you on Thursday. Does your provider know you‘re anxious?

I did tell the receptionist when I made the appointment that I was super nervous and it has been 15-20 years since I had last seen a dentist. I’ve been stressing for nearly a week. Now my fear is I won’t even get far enough to get the deep cleaning started because of my blood pressure running through the roof (I’ve been on medication for blood pressure since 2008- and it normally around around 130-140… even on medication often). Feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.

 

[Enarete]

You‘re only losing it in your mind. Fortunately, your feelings and fears now are just what they are: feelings and thoughts. They can be unbearable to endure, but they are not predictive about what will happen. I am not sure whether blood pressure is any important for deep cleaning. If it was, it would mean bad news for everyone scared of the dentist. If this is worrying you, getting in touch with your practice and ask them whether this is relevant may be the best idea.

 

[Winston3590]

Well, lots of bad news but on the positive side I at least survived my first appointment in 15-20 years. I have 15 teeth that need to be pulled (4 of which are my wisdom teeth). That’s before we can even discuss the treatment plan to get the rest of my mouth under control. The hygienist and dentist were both super friendly today, no lecture from either of them, with the exception of basically all of my back teeth on both sides of my mouth my bottom teeth will all stay. Now to make the appointment with the oral surgeon to get over this LARGE step 2. ?

 

[letsconnect]

Sorry to hear about the bad news - hopefully it didn't come as too much of a shock. But a massive congratulations on making it there ??? ? - that must have taken a lot of guts!! Also great to hear that your dentist and hygienist are lovely people, that is sooo important. I hope the oral surgeon is just as nice ?

 

[Winston3590]

Sorry to hear about the bad news - hopefully it didn't come as too much of a shock. But a massive congratulations on making it there ??? ? - that must have taken a lot of guts!! Also great to hear that your dentist and hygienist are lovely people, that is sooo important. I hope the oral surgeon is just as nice ?

I expected things to be bad and to need a handful of teeth pulled… the number that need pulled shocked me.. but I also wasn’t even thinking about my wisdom teeth or my “shark tooth” either. Very ready for everything to be behind me and am frustrated I don’t even have an appointment with the oral surgeon. Called Thursday and Friday both to at least get the consultation appointment scheduled and didn’t have any luck- reached a recording both days that I called. Want to at least hurry up and get them all out- then it’s harder to convince myself to wait or stop altogether on moving forward.

 

[Winston3590]

Finally got through to the office where the oral surgeon is today. Consultation appointment with them is 7/26 @ 2pm ?

 

[Winston3590]

Not sure who is reading and what not.. need to vent some tonight. Today has been hard. Tonight is hard. Things aren’t moving quickly enough for me. I know it’s taken years to get this bad and it’ll take awhile to get things fixed but It’s been super stressful and I can’t stop fixating on my teeth. Since I made the decision to start this long road ahead it’s all I can do all day/night is think about how bad my teeth are. I have a giant cavity in two of my top front teeth that has resulted in a large (and growing hole) between them. Dentist doesn’t want to start work on those or any others “hopefully staying” until the bulk of the bad has been pulled. Consultation appointment with the oral surgeon is still a week and a half or more away (7/26). Things are definitely getting worse.. and are going to continue doing so before I start to get any better. Thankfully, I have no tooth pain right now and everything is purely cosmetic. Basically going through the motions of work and home just to get through the day, but am very upset/angry with myself for letting things get this bad. Not looking for sympathy, just helps to get things out sometimes. I am fortunate enough to have a support system I can lean on and I’ve been talking with them a lot.. trying to stay focused on standing a top the mountain at the end and smiling… but today feel like I’m still at the bottom of the mountain. Thanks for reading/ listening tonight.

 

[Anne2021]

Not sure who is reading and what not.. need to vent some tonight. Today has been hard. Tonight is hard. Things aren’t moving quickly enough for me. I know it’s taken years to get this bad and it’ll take awhile to get things fixed but It’s been super stressful and I can’t stop fixating on my teeth. Since I made the decision to start this long road ahead it’s all I can do all day/night is think about how bad my teeth are. I have a giant cavity in two of my top front teeth that has resulted in a large (and growing hole) between them. Dentist doesn’t want to start work on those or any others “hopefully staying” until the bulk of the bad has been pulled. Consultation appointment with the oral surgeon is still a week and a half or more away (7/26). Things are definitely getting worse.. and are going to continue doing so before I start to get any better. Thankfully, I have no tooth pain right now and everything is purely cosmetic. Basically going through the motions of work and home just to get through the day, but am very upset/angry with myself for letting things get this bad. Not looking for sympathy, just helps to get things out sometimes. I am fortunate enough to have a support system I can lean on and I’ve been talking with them a lot.. trying to stay focused on standing a top the mountain at the end and smiling… but today feel like I’m still at the bottom of the mountain. Thanks for reading/ listening tonight.

Winston3590, just checking in to say that I'm reading here tonight. I completely empathize. My story is in another thread and I always write too much. I completely get the fixation and the regret and just going through the motions. I'm kind of there myself right now. I'm so glad you have a support system. I know things will get better for you as you can make progress.

 

[letsconnect]

That must be really tough to work up the courage to get things sorted, only to be faced with a long wait. Are they aware of how much the visible cavity in your front teeth is bothering you? Maybe they could let you know if they have any cancellations?

 

[Winston3590]

Winston3590, just checking in to say that I'm reading here tonight. I completely empathize. My story is in another thread and I always write too much. I completely get the fixation and the regret and just going through the motions. I'm kind of there myself right now. I'm so glad you have a support system. I know things will get better for you as you can make progress.

Thanks for checking in. I will have to read up on your story as well. Sorry to hear that you’re in a similar boat right now. Don’t wish this upon anyone. Fortunately I don’t really have any “pain” despite all of the issues, but am just generally uncomfortable and stressed over the whole thing and have developed a ton of anxiety her this that I’m not used to having.

 

[Winston3590]

That must be really tough to work up the courage to get things sorted, only to be faced with a long wait. Are they aware of how much the visible cavity in your front teeth is bothering you? Maybe they could let you know if they have any cancellations?

Yes, it blows indeed. They are not aware of how much the visible cavities on my two front teeth are bothering me. I’m not in any “pain” thankfully. The dentist was pretty clear when I was there a little over a week ago that he wasn’t going to do any “repair work” until all of what needs to come out, is out. ? I do plan to talk about how much stress and anxiety it’s causing me when I go to the other clinic where the oral surgeon is. Not very optimistic they will be able to help-but worth a shot. Definitely can’t muster the courage to call them or the dentist back anytime soon so instead I lay here and n stress/anxiety. ??‍