Boyfriends brother is a dentist... Rant



I love my boyfriend. A lot. He knows about my dx of DID, he's a caring and compassionate doctor, he knows about my child abuse, and I even trusted him with my fear of dentists.

My fear of dentists is kind of crazy... my attacker was a dentist. It's very hard for me to talk about anything teeth related or dentist related or anything like that. Can barely brush my teeth without having a panic attack.

Well, here's the kicker: Boyfriend's brother is a dentist. It does not go well with me.... but they're very close and we go on double dates with him and his wife a lot.

I'm terrified of his brother. I don't like being left in the same room with him at any time whatsoever. I asked boyfriend to tell his brother about my fear of dentists so that he won't bring up any conversation about his work.

Oddly enough, the person that keeps talking about dentists is my boyfriend!!!

Today was very strange. I went to lunch with the boyfriend, his brother, brother's wife, and brother's baby. Brother, wife, and baby decided to go get smoothies while boyfriend and I went to get some candy at a store just a couple stores down. We decided to meet back at the smoothie place. On the smoothie place's door, there was an advertisement for a dentist office... you couldn't see the windows so we weren't sure if it was the smoothie place or if it was one of THOSE places.... to make things worse, everything in this shopping center was in Chinese so we had no idea if it was the right place or not.

I hesitated to go in because the ad freaked me out (pictures and everything) and I didn't want to step foot in one of those places. Boyfriend opened the door and I saw that it was just the smoothie place but I was in shock and started dissociating. We left after boyfriend got his smoothie and went back into his brother's car. Boyfriend starts talking about how he thought the smoothie place was a dentist office and how confused he was... they got in a whole discussion.... I grabbed my boyfriends hand and dug my nails into his skin so he would shut up. And he was like "What???" and then he saw the look of horror on my face and said "ohhhh shit I'm sorry". I hid my face in his lap because I was scared and dizzy and crying.. It was pretty awful.

And this isn't the first time he's accidentally brought up dentist convos with his brother.... One time I was at dinner with his family and I was holding the baby and they started talking about scary things and I gave the baby to boyfriend and went outside the house and threw up in the backyard. It was awful awful awful and this was before boyfriend's brother knew about my phobia of... well... him.

Ok rant over. Thanks if you read.


Oct 1, 2013
Wow I think I would be the same way. I was treated pretty bad by a dentist. I don't know if I could handle it. But is his brother nice? Could being around him help you with coping? I don't know I can't even handle walking past a dds office! Or hearing people talk about anything dental!


He's really nice. Not mean or scary at all. Just the idea freaks me out. Maybe it will help with my fear...who knows
Dr. Daniel

Dr. Daniel

Well-known member
Verified dentist
Nov 2, 2010
The Hague , Holland
Hi kittykat,

Have you ever been treated by a therapist? about the abuse I mean. This is the core problem after all.


Yes, I'm working with a therapist now... have been for about year
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
E New brother in law is a dentist?? Support 1
F How do I find a dentist in the UK (South East) that does gas and air? Support 7
T Extreme Phobia of dentist and needles Support 6
J Too embarrassed to go to dentist, but I really need to go Support 4
A How do I contact my dentist about reducing my amount of fillings in a future appointment? Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 6
R Very scared to visit dentist Support 1
K Lifelong fear of the dentist — just made an appointment and scared out of my wits! Support 10
G I am 20 and have never been to the dentist. Help me through it? Support 3
K Scared to go back to dentist after TMJ flare up Dental Phobia Discussion, News and Events 2
A Not feeling confident in dentist visit, teeth still issue Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 2
MeaDrea Do I go dentist? Support 1
S Dentist needed for peer review of 2 splints I was given Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 4
L Scared to go back to dentist Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 5
B Have little confidence in my dentist Support 9
Ihatedentistss Can’t find a dentist who actually does general anesthesia, extremely frustrated Wisdom Teeth 3
W Palliative care for my teeth - dentist advice. Support 1
F Need advice plz- about changing dentist Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 2
K PETRIFIED OF DENTIST- First filling after 13 years Share Your Success Story! 1
G In pain - should I go back to my dentist? Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 3
D Had abusive dentist experience during childhood, still ridden with fear 20 years later. Will have to go to the dentist tomorrow. Support 5
T After 10+ years since last dental visit= 6 SUCCESSFUL visits to the dentist in the last month! You can do it too! Share Your Success Story! 11
F How to communicate with dentist in despite of stress,anxiety & shyness Support 6
S I haven't been to the dentist in a year, so this is freaking me out. Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 11
K I haven’t been to the dentist since 2010/I have advanced periodontal disease Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 2
letsconnect How to woo your dentist (in 9 easy steps) Support 1
D 33 and never been to the dentist, gathering courage to go Support 8
A Massive Fear of Dentist but need to go... Support 13
M Not been to dentist in 9 years after bad experience Support 1
N ISO judgement free dentist in N. Idaho Support 4
A Dentist appt 3 months out! Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 1
G 30 yrs old, havent been to the dentist in almost 10 years Support 4
T Dentist appointment was rescheduled and I'm a mess Support 9
B Dentist keeps pushing implants, does your's? Support 14
J Never been to the dentist and not sure where to start? Support 6
R Real panic attacks at dentist Dental Phobia Discussion, News and Events 0
K Special Needs dentist in New Zealand... Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 4
B Heading to the dentist after 20+ years of not going Share Your Success Story! 3
S In pain, need to go to the dentist soon.. terrified :( Support 5
M Dentist ruined my crown Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 8
I Should I go for a check-up at the dentist during third lockdown in the UK? Share Your Fears and Cast Your Votes 11
K Going to the dentist for the first time in ~15 years, feeling ashamed Support 8
D Made an appointment after 20 years away from the dentist Support 10
N Dentist in southeast WI to take time and help me with my fears. Support 1
L Dentist says I can't get a mouthguard because I have braces on??? (Cracked teeth) Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 1
B Old root canal really painful Dentist xray shows nothing Support 7
J Should I be telling my dentist about my painkiller addiction??? Support 12
J Dentist tomorrow first time in 30 years 🤦 Support 48
P Going to the dentist for the first time in 12 years and I have a lot of questions Ask a Dentist - For Nervous Patients only 2
L I went to the emergency dentist, but now what? :( Support 33

Similar threads