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Broken front tooth. TW suicidal feelings!!!

Q

Quixote

Member
Joined
May 22, 2014
Messages
27
Posting from the depths of desperation.

My teeth aren't in a very good way. I've got a few fillings, and three molars broken to the gumline. Now, worst of all, I have damage to a front tooth. It isn't at the front, but it looks bad to me when I look at it.

Some of the problems are because of self-neglect. I've struggled with severe mental health problems and trauma from sexual abuse since childhood, and keeping on top of oral hygiene hasn't always been possible, and tbh a lot of the time when it was possible it didn't feel important. I had bulimia for a decade, and my broken molars were originally cracked by being hit in the face.

I desperately want to get it fixed but I am so SCARED.

I feel caught between two fears; the fear of being berated and judged by the dentist, and the feeling of ruining my future and friendships by losing a front tooth.

I know that it doesn't work like that. I know my friends aren't going to hate me or leave me if my front tooth breaks. I know that even if a dentist does tell me off, it won't be telling me off for being mentally ill or abused. I just can't get past that fear.

Also, I just want to get this process started but fucking COVID-19 means I may not get to see a dentist until 2021. I can't wait that long.

I think I can get triaged for the front tooth because it was as a result of impact (dog headbutted me in the face) but I just don't know what will happen.

I just want to know it will be okay and my life is still worth living.
 
M

MountainMama

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
2,107
First of all, I am glad you are here, posting. Please know that it will be okay and your life is worth living. I know it seems overwhelming now, but all the issues can be sorted.
I broke my front tooth as a kid, from an injury to the face. It was patched with a filling and forgotten. 30 years later it acted up and I ended up losing the tooth. I had a whole host of dental issues crop up at the same time and it was devastating. I ended up going on antidepressants for a short time, and it helped so much. I eventually got an implant for my front tooth, but had a flipper for a while.
A dentist will not shame you for your situation. Maybe try sending an email or a Facebook message to potential dentists, stating your fears and situation (as much as you are comfortable with). Let them reassure you before you ever step foot in the office.
Most of my friends know about my dental issues. It was terrifying to talk about because there is shame involved, even when we can’t control what caused the problems. We always worry about assumptions others will make. I found out that many of my friends also have dental issues that I never knew about (one was born with “peg” teeth and has crowns on all her front teeth, top and bottom. Many will be more sympathetic than you think.
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 26, 2017
Messages
2,867
Location
Minneapolis, MN
Quixote,

First of all I'm really glad you wrote here and vented.. as a community we want to really lift each other up and support each other in the really hard times, times of desperation when others who haven't been through dental issues or combination of dental issues/mental health issued can't understand, there are a lot of us here that can and at the very least want to be here for you.

Myself I understand the struggle of dealing with dental work after the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. Abuse that has led to struggling with shame and anxiety both in the dental area and other areas in life. You are brave and resilient to come this far and writing and thinking about it you making step by step. Have you seen this link on abuse survivors and dental?


I know for me , it was pivotal and a turning corner to have a dentist I sensed a genuine compassion from , the first when I was 30 after a long journey of many who weren't but she was so kind and compassionate and was very patient with me. We never discussed my abuse. I had a feeling she was intuitive about it. She made a huge difference in my life as she gained my trust.

Do you have a dentist you feel safe with yet. or still looking? I know this is a hard time for dental issues in general. Hope you aren't in any huge pain!

Your life is so worth living , you have a community here that cares and believe you will get through this taking one small moment and step at a time .!
 
Enarete

Enarete

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
2,620
Dear Quixote,

so sorry to read what had happened and so glad you reached out.

Broken front tooth is the nightmare of anyone who is scared of the dentist - you can deny and live with as many broken or damaged teeth in the back but once something in the front happens, it is like a reminder.. not only of the need to see a dentist but also of all the hidden feelings towards yourselves. I am so sorry you have to deal with this and particularly now during the covid time. I see how this can even trigger doubts about your life being worth living and I second everything said above. Your front tooth has nothing to do with your worthiness as a person but I totally see how this issue started a storm of painful feelings and desperation. And by the way - fellow survivor here too - isn't it one of the most painful things about abuse that something cruel was done to us, but all the feelings of shame, of being unworthy of love, being ugly, - which the other person should be dealing with - are left with us for such a long time afterwards. Don't want to get too deep here, but want to let you know that you are doing an amazing job reaching out and looking for solutions over and over again.

Now to your tooth. I see the insecurity and the fear, but also the desire to get it fixed. You mentioned you might not be able to get to a dentist before 2021. Did a practice say that? Are there practices in your area you feel might be suitable for you? I know the situation around covid is critical and depending on where you live this may be more or less complicated, but I would find it hard to believe that there would be no fix possible for the next 6 months..

I know you have fears and this is a scary thing. As @krlovesherkids777 said, all you need to do is to start moving forward in small steps. You don't get past a fear, you get through it in a controlled manner. Reading your past posts, I know you are strong enough to deal with this. It is painful and it is scary and you might not believe in your ability to get through it right now, but you managed to tackle this in the past and you will manage it again.

All the best wishes and as usually, we are here to listen
:grouphug:
 
L

loopylass

Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2019
Messages
41
Location
Birmingham
Dear Quixote, I just wanted to say welcome and that Im very sorry you’re going through this. I too have felt very affected by lots of teeth problems all at once and it has made me feel very overwhelmed and also scared that I’d never be able to get sorted. People here are kind helpful and supportive. Remember that you do matter and you will get through with help from your friends. Wishing you well
 
T

Thephilsblogbar

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2015
Messages
661
Location
United Kingdom
I don't know where you live in the world, if you live in the United Kingdom and you are NHS patient, you may have to go private as a one off for a checkup to see what needs to be done. . The dentist may be limited what they can do for now,
 
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