• Dental Phobia Support

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Can I still save my teeth?



Junior member
Jul 15, 2019
I'm 28 years old female and about to get married in six months. I have a terrible fear of anything related to my teeth. I was 7 years old when a dentist found a cavity and gave me a filling. But I had more intense cavity when I was 17 and the dentist removed two of my molars (both left upper and lower). She also said I should come back for a full mouth scaling but I never went back.

1. Over the years, I've had plaque build up.

2. Further, my smile looks really bad and makes me so conscious that I almost never smile showing my teeth in photographs. My upper incisor on the extreme right fell off when I was 15 and only a small tooth grew in its place so it looks like I have three upper incisors only.

3. On top of that, the upper incisor on the extreme left developed some form of problem in the root area for years and it's upper part looks red, if not covered with plaque. I fear it will fall off any moment.

4. To top it off, the arrangement of these four upper incisors isn't straight and looks like the left side is bent downwards.

5. My gums are mostly reddish near the ends of my teeth which is why I have always brushed softly for fear of bleeding.

6. Recently the gum behind my front two teeth seem to have become loose. I checked my teeth in the mirror and the gum near my lower incisor are peeling back.

7. Also, I have several deep cavities in my molars and premolars (which developed since my last visit to the dentist at 17).

8. My last surviving molar on left has suddenly become super sensitive to touch of water and cannot take anything cold (it's super painful)

I am so scared all my teeth will fall off soon but I kept delaying visiting a dentist because I was afraid that they would remove more teeth, scold me, etc. I am getting married soon, I can't afford to lose any teeth. I also wish I had a good smile. Now my fiance has told me to get my teeth checked once as he also feels I need work done before it gets worse. He doesn't know the entire condition of my shameful teeth situation just the bit visible when I smile. (I'm afraid he'll leave me if he finds out) What should I do? I'm planning to visit the dentist next month but will the dentist be able to help me? I feel I have gone beyond repair. But I'm so scared if all my teeth fall off, my fiance would leave me in future or it will affect my baby when I'm pregnant and have cavities. Please help. I'm losing my mind. I can't think of anything else. I just want this whole mess to be solved and I'll practice perfect oral hygiene, whatever the dentist will suggest. I just need an assurance that my teeth can be fixed without any removals.


Super Moderator
Staff member
Jul 26, 2017
Sioux Falls, SD

Welcome to DFC! Thank you for writing and sharing your story. First off you are taking some great first steps in moving past your fears ,making that first appointment even when you have alot of questions and fears, that is huge, and then writing here to get support.

You are in good company and will have alot of support here,many people with alot of the same concerns and questions to come alongside you as you take this journey. You are not alone! Its easy really easy to want to delay things and just stay a bit "stuck".when you don't know what the outcome is going to be and how others will react like the dentist.

I encourage you to take one step at a time, you seem a very courageous person. I am remembering so many testimonies on this site of people who had multiple concerns and were so afraid to face it after years and all the "what ifs" and they go in with much better news than anticipated and get alot of relief.

We don't know what the outcome will be with the work suggestions. but I hope you will feel relieved after facing it and you will get a good kind dentist who will understand your concerns and feelings and all. Avoidance seems to make fear and anxiety grow because we don't know the answers and questions and fears just grow bigger and bigger , I only say from experience.
I've faced some really hard things but I've also been relieved when stepping out and facing them.

I"m not sure what else to say but that I think you have the courage and motivation to make this positive step for yourself and for your family.. You are worth it!! Its not easy but its worth it!

Wishing you all the best in your journey.. you have alot of support here!


Super Moderator
Verified dentist
Dec 7, 2008
Welwyn Garden City, UK
Hi there tobemarriedgirl,

Firstly congratulations on your forthcoming wedding. From what you have said, your future husband sounds like a caring man, so hopefully will be able to support you in getting your teeth under control.
I thing krlovesherkids777 has given excellent advice.
As a dentist who has had many patients coming to see me in a similar situation to you, all I can say is, in the vast majority of cases things turn out be not half as bad as the patient thinks.
One thing that you can start to do immediately is to brush right onto the gum edges firmly. They will bleed more for the first week or so but then they will stop. The reason they are bleeding is because you have a film of bacteria on the gums. This makes them inflamed and they bleed as soon as you touch them. However, if you avoid brushing them you just let more and more bacteria build up. Nearly everyone makes this mistake as it seems logical. If you hands started bleeding when you were washing them you would be more gentle right? but this does not apply to teeth. Get in there and brush firmly right onto the gums and and clean off the bacteria, trust me it will all feel much better in a couple of weeks and will make the dentists work easier.
Just make sure you find a kind dentist, if you are not impressed on meeting him or her, try to find another one.

Good luck and let us know how you get one. We will try to support you as best we can so do not hesitate to get in touch.
Best wishes