Can't get past the fear - it's taking over my life

[Jo1975]

Apologies if this rambles a bit, it's the first time I've ever posted on anything like this.

I have had a fear of the dentist since a traumatic experience as a child (I'm now in my mid-40s). Over the years it has got to the point where I can't even look at my own teeth and rarely smile in photos or in public. I reached the point just before Christmas of being in so much pain with a back tooth that I had to go to the dentist and was told that I have severe periodontis to the point where the gums have receeded and I have bone loss. The dentist has recommended a number of extractions and partial dentures.

I have a hygienist appointment in 2 weeks followed by the first extractions 3 days later - although the dentist did say that when they remove the plaque build up, the teeth may come away with it. It's the lower front teeth first but the back teeth on one side feel really loose and whilst it's not painful, I'm in constant discomfort. The dentist suggested that it will take a 6-12 months to get it fully sorted but then I'll be left with very few of my own teeth left and I'm worried about whether I'll be able to deal with taking the dentures in and out properly as I can't imagine being able to actually look at my own teeth (which I know sounds ridiculous).

The dentist I went to was lovely and didn't judge me as I had feared but I am terrified of the upcoming hygienist appointment - I keep having dreams of the teeth all falling out or wobbling around and my teeth and the state I've allowed them to get into are taking over my every thought - all day, every day.

I know I've done this to myself and I'm not looking for sympathy. I also know that it's not the end of the world - people go through much worse every day and it's not life threatening so I should just get a grip but I wondered whether other people had been through similar experiences who can tell me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I won't always have my every though dominated by my teeth.

 

[Enarete]

I know I've done this to myself and I'm not looking for sympathy. I also know that it's not the end of the world - people go through much worse every day and it's not life threatening so I should just get a grip but I wondered whether other people had been through similar experiences who can tell me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I won't always have my every though dominated by my teeth.

Hi Jo1975,

I'd like to start with that paragraph above because I think you are very hard on yourself. You haven't done this to yourself, you have been trying to cope with a traumatic experience as a child and avoiding dentist altogether is the best thing our minds can come up with to protect ourselfs from further suffering. Tackling this is a huge thing and I know you are totally getting to the limits of your comfort now and pushing yourself really hard. Please, stay kind to yourself and give yourself some credits. You know, generally it's not usualy for people to tackle their fears as most of them can live comfortably avoiding the feared thing. What you are doin is huge.

So this all sounds scary and I see how this is affecting your everyday life and also your dreams so much. While I haven't been through the same experiences, if you take a look around on this forum, you will find many people who started where you are now and were really happy they did. Believe me, once this is sorted, you will be fine.

When it comes to your not being able to look at your teeth, this is very common. If this worries you regarding your ability to handle the denture, it may be a good start to either start getting used to look at your teeth or to work with a counselor who can find some more systematic way and guide you through the process. My impression is that teeth serve you as a reminder of what had happened or what is happening and the feelings coming along it are too strong to handle now. That's where some gradual processing with a mental health professional or on your own may help.

All the best wishes and again, give yourself a pat on your back, you are doing a huge thing here

 

[Jackieallen]

Jo
Your not alone . I have been thinking of my next appoinment for the last month and its upsetting me depressing me and making feel very low. So i think it must be fairly natural to if you have faced a traumatic expeirence . I too have lose teeth one being extracted tomorrow . And i got my first denture due to a snapped tooth 2 years ago . The denture is great once you pop it in and holds in well so dont fear a denture . Takes a while to get used to once your used to it it will look great . I too fear whats the future for my remaing teeth so again you are not alone . I know at lots of people aged similar who have issues . I put it down to our parents allowing so many sweets as they didnt have them . Also i am sure i never saw a hygienist till i was in my 40 these services didnt seem to be offered previously or was it we could afford them . Same as teepees when were they born. You are doing amazing getting it all sorted and reaching out to others to understand your not the only one with issues. Another option may be a maryland bridge they attach to another healthy tooth by a wing ...look very natural.

Hope this helps

 

[Caz72]

Hi Jo1975

Firstly welcome I’m quite new here too and it’s a fantastic forum so many helpful people

I’ve recently had dental work done after not seeing a dentist in over 30 years I think I had been quite lucky because I only needed 1 filling 2 bad roots removed and a clean so I can’t help with the work you need doing side of things

But I do know what it feels like to have the fear and the constant thought of your teeth on your mind

You have taken the first biggest step and actually been to the dentist that’s a massive achievement that you should be very proud of…in term of what you need doing I would take it one appointment at a time and speak to your dentist every time ask as many questions as you need to and tell him your worries and fears I am sure he will do all he can to put your mind at rest

Keep us updated we will do all we can to help you through well done for how far you have come already you will get there and you will feel so much better for it

Good luck
Caz x

 

[Snaggletooth24]

I can relate so much to your post. While I had healthy beautiful teeth growing up I neglected them as an adult. I made sure my kids saw the dentist regularly but I did not. Finally after 15 years I am getting work done. It’s 15 years too late. I have such severe bone loss that the only thing hold my 2 bottom front teeth is calculus. My periodontist extracted 2 very infected lower molars and did scaling and planing this week. She skipped my 2 front teeth knowing they would then fall out. I’m only 55 and not ready for this loss. Apparently my bone loss in the front lower jaw is severe I will probably be stuck with just a flipper. She said my canines aren’t stable enough to support a bridge. I have done nothing but cry. I can’t eat, sleep or concentrate at work. I destroyed my own teeth and have no one to blame but myself. I hate myself for it.