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Confusing thoughts about my upcoming appointment

Enarete

Enarete

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That's ok wasn't expecting it to go great,I'm in the uk so I'm on a long waiting list doesn't make a diff if I change hospitals it would still apparently take that long. Do you have an appointment soon?
Hope things start moving for you soon.. My appointment is on Monday. I'm curious, a bit nervous at the moment and have quite a lot of hope.
 
C

ceecee115

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Feb 28, 2018
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6
If you need someone to read it and give your reassurance, jut let me know. I vividly remember my first emails to my dentist. I had about 15 drafts in my computer and 10 in my cell phone, I would count the words, read it aloud, trying to make it as short as possible but not too short, wondering if it sounds embarassing or not, needing one week to get a draft I was happy with and on the next day it felt weird again.. oh and running away from the computer after hitting the send button.. it was just such a huge deal.. and I wouldn't send one email without having at least one trusted friend to check it.. I still don't have enough courage to send an email to a dentist without having it checked by a very trusted dental-fear-friend, actually. So feel free to pm me any time.

Happy to hear that you are making progress.. one part of the journey is the communication with the dentist and the other part that runs simultaniously, is the communication with yourself and that part can be very hard too.

Sending you some good vibes and good wishes and it's just lovely to see an another beautiful soul who decided to conquer her fears :XXLhug:

Look forward to hear how you are doing.
i just wanted to thank you for offering to read my draft - so, so kind of you. Yes, please - I will take you up on that. I'm about to re-draft (why is this so hard, I wonder? Maybe because when I hit send, I am making actual, physical progress...which is very scary) and will PM it to you. ❤
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Plain terrified and feeling insane

Arrived and checked-in. I feel terrible and cannot remember it having been this bad last time as I was seeing a dentist for the first time. I have constant stomach aches, my legs and arms feel shaky and I feel like brainwashed. I am here and cannot stop keeping asking myself what am I doing here and why. I wished to either cancel or email the dentist an another time to let him know that whatever he has seen in his life, I might be worse.

I went to have a look at where the practice is and almost started to cry as soon as I arrived at the beginning of the street. The door looks scary - it is a nice door but reminds me of something - and I keep wondering if it will be opened or closed tomorrow. I swear, if the door will be closed I won't make it to a ring or something, I will just stand in a front of it waiting for someone to pick me up. Everything is so scary - the door, the windows, the street.. I just want to cry.

Is there a state where the dentist would refuse to treat me. Am I allowed to freeze? To cry? To keep staring at his shoes afraid to look at him? Not being able to talk? What if I just won't be able to talk or to move during the whole appointment? What would I have to do for the dentist to believe he couldn't help me? I feel like having to deliver something tomorrow. Some kind of appropriate behavior, some minimal amount of presence or something and the thought of failing at this scares me.. I would love to know what nervous patients typically do and what the dentists are used to.. it would help me to assess how bad my anxiety is compared to the other cases...

This door is so triggering.. an I am so afraid of what is behind it and I am so afraid that it will be closed and that I won't be able to see what's behind it until I am in. Please, let it be a neutral nice room with no dental chair far and wide and please let the first chat be outside of the surgery.

I feel just lost. I never took any calming medication in my life but if I had a calming pill here now, I would take it without hesitation. Gonna try to distract myself with music or meditate a bit. And will try not to question my sanity too much.

Writing helps so much.. cannot even think of where I would be now without this forum.
 
T

tazey

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Feb 2, 2018
Messages
610
Location
Hampshire U.k
Where abouts are you+what exactly is it you need doing? I take it you don't have anyone with you? Personally I don't talk much or have eye contact (weather that's just habit or fear prob a bit of both) I hate having meltdowns its embarressing+just makes me look weak imo. I think anxiety can be worse on the inside+doesnt always show so people/dentists can't imagine what your going through,people on here get it tho.
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Where abouts are you+what exactly is it you need doing? I take it you don't have anyone with you? Personally I don't talk much or have eye contact (weather that's just habit or fear prob a bit of both) I hate having meltdowns its embarressing+just makes me look weak imo. I think anxiety can be worse on the inside+doesnt always show so people/dentists can't imagine what your going through,people on here get it tho.
That's very reassuring, thank you. You are so right. I probably won't look as bad as I will feel.. I'm few hours away from my town, not too far but not too near.. it's the first appointment so hopefully a good chat and maybe an exam...

Crazily I feel better now.. this is like having multiple personalities but I keep convincing myself that everyone is experiencing this so I might not be as crazy as I think...
 
A

Anxious76

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Aug 18, 2017
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318
Location
Austin, Texas
You’re definitely not the only one who experiences this full range of emotions. For the past two days I go from waves of anxiety and sheer terror to a crying heap on my bed or the floor to talking myself into believing it’s all going to be well and my worry is for nothing. Although it feels insane, I think that it may be perfectly normal for people who have dental anxiety and phobia. The point is you’re there, just as I’m going to be facing my tune in a couple more days. Whether we get there without hysterics matters not. The dentist isn’t expecting anything of us except for us to tell them what’s bothering us and to allow them to somehow have a look. Especially on a first visit. I barely make eye contact with my guy and barely speak unless spoken to. I’m not afraid of him personally because he’s always treated me well, I’m just worried about what may take place and whether or not I’ll be able to handle it. Unknowns are a big trigger for me so as hard as it’s going to be for me I am going to ask many questions about the procedure and what to expect afterward and how to take care of myself so at least some of the wondering can be put to rest. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, it’s awful...I’ve been like this off and on for two days. Remember you’re brave for being there, and I’m glad you’re here reaching out. This place is a God send!
 
Aurora10

Aurora10

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Feb 9, 2017
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336
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That's very reassuring, thank you. You are so right. I probably won't look as bad as I will feel.. I'm few hours away from my town, not too far but not too near.. it's the first appointment so hopefully a good chat and maybe an exam...

Crazily I feel better now.. this is like having multiple personalities but I keep convincing myself that everyone is experiencing this so I might not be as crazy as I think...
How are you feeling today? How awful to have those feelings of dread; anxiety is a real rollercoaster, not a fun thing to experience at all.. hope you are feeling better today?
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Thank you so much for your kind words, it was very encouraging and made me feel less alone and less crazy.

My appointment went really well, the dentist is incredibly lovely and has a very intense calming presence. I was of course acting like a crazy person first, like acting like he wasn't there while he was there, refusing to get into the surgery and some other things but eventually I got calmer again. We did some desensitizing and came further than I could ever imagine and he took a lot of time with me. The things weren't easy, some even very challenging but he guided me through that.. I am wondering how did he manage it..

I am going to bed right now, this was a very intense day but I feel very happy for having made it. And I won't look for any other practice anymore, I have two superstars now and feel so comfortable. No worries anymore.

Thank you so much for your support, this was a crazy place to be.

Anxious76 and Aurora10, I will keep you in my prayers and think of you. May your procedures go smoothly and comfortably and may it all be much easier than you ever imagined.
 
B

Bastet

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Nov 10, 2014
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112
Location
Illinois, USA
I read through your journal. I'm sorry you have been through so much and very happy to see that you have found another caring dentist. I wish you all the best.
 
T

tazey

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
610
Location
Hampshire U.k
You’re definitely not the only one who experiences this full range of emotions. For the past two days I go from waves of anxiety and sheer terror to a crying heap on my bed or the floor to talking myself into believing it’s all going to be well and my worry is for nothing. Although it feels insane, I think that it may be perfectly normal for people who have dental anxiety and phobia. The point is you’re there, just as I’m going to be facing my tune in a couple more days. Whether we get there without hysterics matters not. The dentist isn’t expecting anything of us except for us to tell them what’s bothering us and to allow them to somehow have a look. Especially on a first visit. I barely make eye contact with my guy and barely speak unless spoken to. I’m not afraid of him personally because he’s always treated me well, I’m just worried about what may take place and whether or not I’ll be able to handle it. Unknowns are a big trigger for me so as hard as it’s going to be for me I am going to ask many questions about the procedure and what to expect afterward and how to take care of myself so at least some of the wondering can be put to rest. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, it’s awful...I’ve been like this off and on for two days. Remember you’re brave for being there, and I’m glad you’re here reaching out. This place is a God send!
I hate not knowing stuff aswell I just wish my whole treatment plan was written down so I knew what to expect at every appointment,hence why the impressions didn't happen the other day because I was told they wouldn't be.
 
L

Lin2018

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Mar 5, 2018
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Don’t know if I am on the right page but does anyone obsess about their teeth?
 
A

Anxious76

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Location
Austin, Texas
I’m very happy that today was a positive experience for you overall and you have found someone you are comfortable with. Rest well and easy now, friend. And thank you for wishing me well for my appointment, I appreciate it very much!
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Called my dental practice this morning due to a tooth that's bothering me. Right now I do not have pain but as soon as I chew on that side, it hurts a bit. Not too much, maybe 4 out of 10, with proper biting I could force it into 7 out of 10. Knowing that this tooth needs a filling it's clear that it needs the treatment a bit earlier than planned.

The incredible thing about anxiety is the insecurity it brings with it. I wasn't sure if my case counts as an emergency / urgent treatment. May I demand an appointment for this week in my case? It doesn't hurt constantly and it doesn't hurt too much. The nurse asked me if I was in a lot of pain, I said no, no, it's just a little bit but it cannot wait till my apt in September, I would like to come in this week if any possible...

The great news is, my dentist is in the office this week and I will see him. So one security.

My apt is on Thursday. I am wondering how it works now - will we have to rush because I came in 'unexpectedly'? Will my dentist be late for all appointments after me because of this? Will he get enough time for his lunch break?

It's kind of funny. I had never had a dentist before, would always go to a different one in a different place and never bothered much about what they would think of me. And now, being so happy with this place I just want to do everything right and there are so many new situations and a lot of social anxiety.

Going to bed now, couldn't sleep this morning because of sickness due to the anxiety. Feel quite relieved, firstly because the appointment is set up and it's with my dentist and also because it's on Thursday so that I can get prepared.

And honestly, no matter how nervous I am, I know my dentist and the only possible and probable outcome is to get my filling and to be happy at the end. I have seen him 9 times in a course of 6 months and every visit went better and better. I could be dying of sickness at the beginning of an appointment, fighting the urge to cry and at the end I will get out feeling happy and amused about his jokes. I do not know how he does it but I know he will do it again.
 
Judythecat

Judythecat

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Mar 7, 2018
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601
Called my dental practice this morning due to a tooth that's bothering me. Right now I do not have pain but as soon as I chew on that side, it hurts a bit. Not too much, maybe 4 out of 10, with proper biting I could force it into 7 out of 10. Knowing that this tooth needs a filling it's clear that it needs the treatment a bit earlier than planned.

The incredible thing about anxiety is the insecurity it brings with it. I wasn't sure if my case counts as an emergency / urgent treatment. May I demand an appointment for this week in my case? It doesn't hurt constantly and it doesn't hurt too much. The nurse asked me if I was in a lot of pain, I said no, no, it's just a little bit but it cannot wait till my apt in September, I would like to come in this week if any possible...

The great news is, my dentist is in the office this week and I will see him. So one security.

My apt is on Thursday. I am wondering how it works now - will we have to rush because I came in 'unexpectedly'? Will my dentist be late for all appointments after me because of this? Will he get enough time for his lunch break?

It's kind of funny. I had never had a dentist before, would always go to a different one in a different place and never bothered much about what they would think of me. And now, being so happy with this place I just want to do everything right and there are so many new situations and a lot of social anxiety.

Going to bed now, couldn't sleep this morning because of sickness due to the anxiety. Feel quite relieved, firstly because the appointment is set up and it's with my dentist and also because it's on Thursday so that I can get prepared.

And honestly, no matter how nervous I am, I know my dentist and the only possible and probable outcome is to get my filling and to be happy at the end. I have seen him 9 times in a course of 6 months and every visit went better and better. I could be dying of sickness at the beginning of an appointment, fighting the urge to cry and at the end I will get out feeling happy and amused about his jokes. I do not know how he does it but I know he will do it again.
My surgery has emergency appointments blocked out every day - usually one per dentist at about 10am, and one per dentist at about 3pm - and they try to see anyone who's in pain on the same day, even if it means you don't see "your" dentist. If the slots sit empty, the dentists use them to catch up on admin. I'm sure your dentist won't skip lunch or run late. Good luck with your appointment.
 
S

shef96

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Jan 5, 2018
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My apt is on Thursday. I am wondering how it works now - will we have to rush because I came in 'unexpectedly'? Will my dentist be late for all appointments after me because of this? Will he get enough time for his lunch break?

It's kind of funny. I had never had a dentist before, would always go to a different one in a different place and never bothered much about what they would think of me. And now, being so happy with this place I just want to do everything right and there are so many new situations and a lot of social anxiety.

Going to bed now, couldn't sleep this morning because of sickness due to the anxiety. Feel quite relieved, firstly because the appointment is set up and it's with my dentist and also because it's on Thursday so that I can get prepared.

And honestly, no matter how nervous I am, I know my dentist and the only possible and probable outcome is to get my filling and to be happy at the end. I have seen him 9 times in a course of 6 months and every visit went better and better. I could be dying of sickness at the beginning of an appointment, fighting the urge to cry and at the end I will get out feeling happy and amused about his jokes. I do not know how he does it but I know he will do it again.
Hey, I read your situation yesterday and it sounds like you've done the right thing, and I'm glad you'll be seeing your dentist very soon. Judythecat pretty much covered everything I wanted to say about the emergency appointments.

The bolded paragraph: just wanted to say I totally understand what you mean - eg I really want it to seem like I'm following their advice, show its working (eg less tartar, better pockets), show better dental health and hygiene. So everytime I go back, I currently get nervous about what they're going to say.
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Thank you very much for your support, Judythecat and shef96. I was hoping someone would know how emergencies work.

Right now I feel stable again, was sleeping for 4 hours (adrenaline makes tired as my dentist explained to me once), had spent one hour fighting stomachaches and sickness and feel ready to go about my day for now.

The challenges on Thursday will be:

The rubber dam - the highest fear on my fear ladder and till now not even able to voice the word in the presence of my dentist. My strategy for this: asking my dentist to tell me before he starts so that I can close my eyes for the duration of placement and keep them closed until the thing is on it's place.

Having my mouth opened without a treatment happening (waiting for something to take effect etc.) - If no instruments and no hands are in, I'll close. So I'll ask my dentist if he or the nurse could just 'hold' my front teeth to give me support any time we come across such a situation.

Considering emailing my practice to tell them this for the case I won't be enough in control to talk properly on Thursday. :(
 
Judythecat

Judythecat

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Glad to hear you got some sleep. Are you sure you will need the rubber dam? I have only ever had it for root canal work, never for any other treatment.

I'm not especially scared of the dentist, or even of treatment, but have become increasingly anxious because of all the problems I've had over the last year. Something that really helps me (and I know this sounds completely stupid) is to bring a soft toy with me, like a Beanie Baby sized thing, which I can fiddle with, grip, whatever. I also like my dentist to give me a narration on what she's doing, and time checks (so like "this will feel rattly, and will take another ten seconds") so I can kind of count down in my head.
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Thank you very much, Judythecat. Basically I do not know what will be needed, but count with a filling, since I know the tooth needs one anyway.

The thing with the rubber dam is this:

1. There is a small amalgam filling on the side of the tooth and I am not sure if this filling is somehow in the way and needs to get drilled out too. If it needs to get drilled out, then I am a candidate for the 'amalgam filling removal protocol' which I have seen on their homepage and which absolutely involves rubber dam.

2. I have had a filled tooth that was bothering me for ages, despite 'everything looking fine'. My dentist was the first one ever who told me that white fillings need absolute dryness to bond properly and a micro drop of saliva or water is enough for the material not to bond as it should. This dryness can only be achieved if rubber dam gets used. He told me if I couldn't cope with a rubber dam we could use a silver filling that can be done well without rubber dam too.
For my current painful tooth the choice might be the same - silver filling without rd or white with it. And I would love to have a white one for several reasons, so.. rubber dam, I'm coming.

3. Somewhere in the future that bothering tooth described above will need an adjustment on that white filling so sooner or later I will have to cope with the rubber dam anyway. So why not starting right away.

4. When dealing with anything in life, I prefer confrontation over avoidance so following this rule I just have to take the rubber dam no matter what.

Bringing a soft toy is a lovely idea. I have a penguin that I always take with me to the dentist, but it always stays in my purse. I struggle with feeling like a small child and embarrassed and ashamed a lot so having the toy with me in the chair might make it worse, but on the other hand this is an absolute emergency and I deal with a stress level higher than ever before so I might actually take the penguin out this time. It's great to know that you take a soft toy with you too! :)

Having an amount of seconds it will take is great, I love that too. My dentist would count from ten backwards at the end of the numbing and it's sooo calming to know when it will be over..

I totally understand your anxiety - it's unbelievable what you have been through recently. Glad to read that your crowns are finally in and hopefully your visit at Max-Fax will bring some good news with it. :clover:
 
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