Constant suicidal ideation

[moonluver444]

I'm sorry for the depressing rant but I seriously cannot take this anymore. I've had such bad luck with my teeth. I have so many fillings from years ago. I have a front tooth that has endured so much trauma that it hurts everyday and is sensitive to touch. I'm sure it probably has permanent damage at this point. My teeth are not aesthetically good looking. I have white spots. My teeth have yellowed from chronic acid reflux. I'm really just done. I don't know how I'm going to afford all of this once I finally get the courage to make an appointment. I'm so ashamed of myself. I have the best oral hygiene of anyone I know yet my teeth are awful. No one will ever love me like this. I'm so incredibly depressed. I just want to have one day where I'm not plagued with anxious thoughts over my teeth. I'm envious of people who don't have to endure this kind of struggle. Though I won't go through with it, suicide is on my mind constantly. I don't know how much more I can take of this.

 

[K.M]

Hi, read your post and logged in to reply. Please know you are not alone and unless in similar position it is very challenging for other people to compassionately empathise with what you are saying and feeling. Is it ok to give you a gentle hug from afar and please go to your hospital emergency room if suicidal ideation becomes a state in planning. Also there are helplines if you feel okay to debrief, chat with them (and if orally it is not painful or distressing physically to do so), it can be tiring repeating your thoughts and feelings, in this case, maybe a general doctor may be the first step as an intro to any medical oral care, they may also be able to prescribe pain relief and or antibiotics if these are needed, hoping this can be affordable for you or friends, family, community may help financially.
Not alone....
(this way in similar situation, loose upper front tooth, very loose molar, stained teeth due to mouthwash side effects, no funds, related oral trauma history absolute terror with any dental and ideation each day also)
Each moment as it goes, yet in saying this its very very challenging, absolutely hear you, hoping this post may bring you a little less isolation and needed compassionate empathy.

 

[Jackieallen]

@moonluver444

Your thoughts are normal please try to be positive . You are certainly not alone . Some people genetally have weaker teeth than others .

Pain is awful and can be so depressing along with anxiety . All your dental issues are resolvable sadly it costs and that dont help with anxiety either. Take one step at a time and address the main issue ie the painful areas. Then hopefully the cost will be spread out.

I recently was so anxious and so low thinking and overthinking about what nexts . When i saw my dentist she said no work required yet . So i have calmed down for now at least .

Make that appointment and start from there . We will be here to support you

 

[Gijsbon]

Damn so bad to hear you go through this.. I know all about it it's awful. It's also literally in your head, the teeth are so close to the brain it made me almost go crazy. I heard a story from a dentist who was specialized in tmj and bite correction, he had a client that had to go into psychiatric center stayed there for 2 years.. so this is strong of you that you keep hanging in there.

From my experience, I also been physically sick, I had people always give me solutions and saying things like stay positive.. yes that is indeed true but sometimes it's just hard! and it's okay to be sad and feeling those feelings.

I do had the same thought like how can someone love you with teeth, or missing teeth I wear a retainer.. it's very difficult to let that go. just know that you are loved no matter what.
as my dad said to me once.. 'it are just teeth'.. that still got in my mind that made it lighter.

I hope you find your way and keep showing the strenght that you showing. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to dm.

All the best,
Gijs

 

[MountainMama]

As others have said, you are not alone. I went through a very dark time a few years ago, when it seemed like all my teeth were going bad at once. I lost four teeth in two years! My front tooth was one of them.

I was very depressed and worried, convinced I was going to lose all my teeth one by one. I ended up going on antidepressants for a short time. I talked with my doctor about it, and we came up with a plan to be on them for six months, then re-evaluate. I ended up being on them for eight months total. It helped so much. I have always been wary of medication as I am super sensitive to most, but it was the best decision I made at the time. It got me through and I was able to get out of that hole and gain much needed perspective.

Please ask for help if you need it!

 

[Gijsbon]

@MountainMama very nice story! may I ask you what exact meds you used? I tried different ones and I am also very sensitive to it.. I get a sharp headache in the jaw muscles. I am from the netherlands europe thanks

 

[MountainMama]

@MountainMama very nice story! may I ask you what exact meds you used? I tried different ones and I am also very sensitive to it.. I get a sharp headache in the jaw muscles. I am from the netherlands europe thanks

I used Wellbutrin, generic name is bupropion. I was on a low dose. There were a few side effects the first two weeks, of mild headaches and a little bit of blurry vision, which my doctor told me about. It passed though and after that I was good. She had me go on gradually, starting with a very low dose and increasing slightly when I adjusted. Then I went off gradually as well. She called it situational depression.

 

[Gijsbon]

@MountainMama interesting, thanks a lot I will try to get it. Yes I tried the same few different ones and they gave me a headache but I heard it's also a big difference which brand you have. it can be a situational depression yea it's just a reaction if you are in fear or body is not working etc.. at least that's my case

 

[MountainMama]

I don’t know which kinds you tried before but Wellbutrin is an NDRI, while most others are SSRI’s so if the ones you took were SSRI’s, maybe this one will work better for you.

I hope you can get it and it works for you!

 

[thatcatguy]

@moonluver444
I'm in a similar spot as you and it's actually kind of awful to think there are more people going through the same thing. Just thinking about trying to make an appointment sends me into a spiral of financial/social anxiety. I'll probably be plowing through it on some xanax from my GP whenever I find a dentist that will work with me. Maybe something like that could help in your case - also, looking up some sliding-scale or pro-bono clinics to take the edge off the financial worry.

Sending hugs - I really hope you can find some help. I think everybody goes through this kind of thing to some extent in their life. It's not a measure of your worth, just some physical problems you need help with.