Convinced I’ll need dentures and feeling suicidal

[depressedbunny]

This is going to be a long post but it would be much appreciated if someone could help me.

I’m F19. Growing up I don’t remember dental hygiene being strictly enforced to me. I didn’t have a good diet and I rarely went to the dentist but when I did I never had problems.

I got braces put on when I was 13 and brushed daily but still never enough or as well as I should have.

I got my braces off at 15 and scheduled a dentist appointment a few months after that because I noticed some staining. I found a dentist that was offering cheap cleanings (which I realize now is a red flag) and booked an appointment. They found quite a lot of cavities. I knew I would probably have a few but to have that many all of the sudden seemed strange. They made it out like it was urgent that I get them filled so that’s what I did. I had another appointment 6 months later and had to get even more cavities filled. Almost every tooth in my mouth has a filling.

I started taking really good care of my teeth after that. I brush twice a day, floss, use mouthwash, eat healthy. My oral hygiene has been great for awhile now and I’m proud of myself.

After feeling scammed by the previous dentist I started going to a new one and my appointments have been very consistent over the years. No new cavities or issues.

Things have been steady until this year. I’ve been dealing with chronic acid reflux daily and have also begun to clench my teeth at night. I’ve been trying to treat my acid reflux but I’m still struggling with it often. Obviously I know that this can eventually ruin my teeth due to the constant acid coming up into my mouth. I bought an OTC mouthguard to help with my clenching but most of the time it falls out during the night and it doesn’t cover all of my teeth anyway so they aren’t really being protected from the effects of clenching. I wake up with tooth pain and I’ve started to notice sensitivity when I chew. I’m very worried I’m going to crack and break my teeth. I haven’t been to the dentist since July because I’m not financially independent and the pandemic has been hard on my family. These issues have surfaced since my previous appointment so I haven’t been able to address them to my dentist yet.

I’m just so worried. I feel that my teeth are destined to be ruined and I’ve basically already accepted that I’ll need dentures. I do have anxiety and depression which causes me to worry over everything and think of the worst case scenario but I can’t help but think I’ll need fake teeth in the future. I was already worried because of having so many fillings but now I feel that I have so many things working against me. I take good care of my teeth— why is this happening to me? The state of my teeth is negatively affecting my quality of life and I’ve become extremely depressed and even suicidal. I’m going to try to see the dentist as soon as possible but I’m just so upset. I feel unworthy of love because of my teeth. I’m so ashamed of having this much work done on them and probably more in the future due to these new issues. If I have to get dentures my life will probably be over. I’m so ashamed of myself but at the same time I feel like some of this is beyond my control. I’m doing my best to take care of my teeth but yet I’m still facing troubles.

I’m sorry for this long rant but I have no one to talk to. I feel that no one understands me and the I feel embarrassed to have these problems. I don’t know if anyone has any advice or reassurance but I’d appreciate it.

 

[Enarete]

Hi noordinaryloves,

those are some heavy thoughts and emotions... I am so sorry that you are going through this and even more that your anticipation of the future is causing you suicidal thoughts.

You seem to have a great home care routine and have a dentist you trust, those are the two most important things. I understood that you are not able to see your dentist for a while, but it is good that you have them and can get in once it will be possible. Your diligent home care will help you to protect your teeth and prevent acid reflux from causing much damage. I don't know much about acid reflux, what the causes are or what exactly it does to your teeth, but thinking of acid, there are people who drink pop all day long and they do it for years and still have their teeth. The route from your current state to dentures is very quick in your mind, but in reality, you would need a very, very, very long time to get there and I am still not even sure it would be dentures. Dentistry has come a long way and there are options to take care of teeth damaged by acid as well. Also, I suspect you are not going to keep your reflux, but will eventually figure out how to take care of it. Grinding won't break your teeth either. About 80% people grind and the fewest wear a guard. It's not the best thing, but until you can see a dentist and let them fit a guard, you will be fine.

When we are worried and caught up in automatic negative thoughts, it can become a rollercoaster. The most difficult thing is, that we often start to confuse feelings with facts. Let me put it this way: your worry that you may need a lot of treatment in the past, or even dentures, won't make it any more likely. It doesn't matter how many destructive thoughts you are having, they are still "just" that: thoughts. Painful agonizing throughs, but not facts. This may sound simple, but all too often we believe that our anxiety about something is a prediction of the future, but that is not true.

I'm sorry to read how much you feel ashamed for your teeth. You haven't done anything wrong and your worth as a person has nothing to do with any parts of your body whatsoever. You are a beautiful complex person with dreams, goals, passions, wishes, things you like, things you don't, people around you, and your interactions with them. All those things have nothing and won't ever have anything to do with your teeth. Would you measure the worth of any person based on their teeth?

If you are ashamed of having work done, think of all the celebrities who use bleaching, bonding, and all kinds of procedures - voluntarily, to fulfill an ideal. Nobody cares about how many fillings you have.. it would be nice if you stopped caring as well.

Writing can help, so feel free to write and vent here as much as you like. We also have a link about feeling depressed and suicidal here on the page. You may find there some resources and most importantly, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988 if you ever feel like talking to someone in here and now.

All the best wishes and keep us posted

 

[depressedbunny]

I don't know much about acid reflux, what the causes are or what exactly it does to your teeth, but thinking of acid, there are people who drink pop all day long and they do it for years and still have their teeth.

Thank you so much for the kind message. Unfortunately I drank soda until about 4 years ago but hopefully my reflux can be managed to where I’m not stressing about it’s effects on my teeth.

 

[toothlessinseattle]

Dear noordinaryloves,

i hear you.. My ? goes out to you battling these spiraling worries. It can begin to feel like such a downward spinning into some dark hole where nothing is possible and even if there were a solution, it might be out of reach. i really hope youre able to see up out of that dark hole, which is dug by this capitalistic construct of dentistry being out of most people's price range, and at that, usually only partially covered. These things make my anxieties worse but i think a light ive found is options for free clinics where i live. As if someone gives a shit you know. That is inspiring to me.
Or things like this forum. Like we aren't actually in these concerning emotions brought up by the state of our teeth....ALONE .
I wonder why things are like that. Or why we carry so much shame as a society based off our teeth.
Idk if you know the J Cole song 'crooked smile' but he talks about getting rich and keeping his crooked teeth and anyways
Reflects how we are a society so concerned by image and actively ignore the reality that people are complex beings ...
With pimples
And cavities
And shadow sides
U know....
Anyways. I hope this brings some real ass light into your situation and that some relief and solutions come to you! Glad you were able to express yourself also, i know that has helped me a lot too and some of the resources on this forum have been supremely helpful also...
Sending love
Support
Connection
Peaceful thoughts
Reassurance
?