Coping strategies when facing a lot of work

[Moomintina]

Hey all,

I am 31, live in the UK, and sadly have a bit of a journey ahead of me to achieve dental fitness.

Next Tuesday I am having all four of my wisdom teeth removed, then a root canal + crown next month, and finally I'll need to address the bottom second molars. I am paying to have the work done by specialists, simply to give myself the best chance possible. I appreciate that I'm lucky to be in a position to do that.

It really sucks, and ultimately I'm in this situation because of my anxiety and neglect. I've learned the hard way, and just hope I'm taking the best steps I can.

I am wondering if anyone has any tips for managing the overwhelming feelings of anxiety (for the procedures), shame (for being in this situation), and financial worry.

I have been thinking and worrying about it for months now, and I really need to find ways to not let it take over my life, as it's making it much harder to cope with.

Any tips/coping strategies would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Christian

 

[letsconnect]

Hi Christian,

that doesn't sound like an enormous amount of work TBH. It's great that you've managed to actually visit a dentist despite your anxiety, at such a young age - many people end up waiting for decades because they are too terrified.

With regards to the feelings of shame, these are so very common and yet so misplaced. We tend to feel shame when we're worried about being judged by others for having transgressed social norms and conventions. When you feel shame for being in this situation, whose reaction in particular are you worried about? Is it the dentist? Their staff? Family members or friends? It might help to ask yourself what you'd think of them if they needed some dental work. Most people wouldn't think anything of it at all, seeing how dental work is a normal part of life. If you're lucky, you might get a token "poor you, nobody likes going to the dentist", before they forget all about the conversation (unless they're a fellow dental phobic of course).

Dentists in particular have zero feelings about teeth because they tend to look at them with the detached gaze of a mechanic trying to fix things. That's for the actual "fixing teeth" part - of course, they may also be interested in helping people and making them feel happier!

There's a big long page on this topic here on the website, in case you haven't seen it yet:

Embarrassed? What dentists really think

Do you avoid the dentist because you're too embarrassed about the state of your teeth and what a dentist might say or think? You're not alone!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

We've also got a few tips for dealing with anxiety in the run-up of an appointment, and for coping with appointments/procedures:

Tips From Dental Phobics

Top tips for overcoming dental phobia - from dental phobics, for dental phobics! Find out what has worked for our readers and forum members.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Sorry can't help with the financial worry but hopefully you'll be able to find something within the links above that's of use!

 

[Moomintina]

@letsconnect

Thank you so much for your kind and generous reply. Honestly, it has really uplifted me, and what you said about the feelings of shame has given me a lot of helpful perspective.

I keep forgetting in the midst of all this work to remember how far I’ve come to reach this point, so I’m going to try and be a bit prouder of myself.

I think I just need to remind myself that I have a plan, things are booked in and I’ll take each day as it comes.

And no worries about the financial bit - I think that’s just one of those unfortunate things that happen. But I have it worked out, so that’s the main thing.

Thank you again for being so kind and lovely and I hope you have a wonderful week.

 

[letsconnect]

Yes, you should feel really proud of yourself .

Wishing you all the best of luck for Tuesday