B
BambiChicken
Junior member
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2021
- Messages
- 8
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
Hi All
I’ve always had a dental phobia. It started when I was a child. I developed tooth decay when I was young and had the old mercury fillings done on a regular basis. At around age 7 I had a painfully bad experience at the dentist when he pulled a tooth that was infected and from that moment on I was scared and anxious about going to the dentist. As an adult I was definitely a procrastinator when it came to going to the dentist, but I used to push through the fear and anxiety and have work done only when necessary. By the time I was in my mid 40s most of my teeth had been overfilled and weakened and I needed quite a few crowns. I found a great understanding dentist who specialised in restorations and over the course of several months I had everything fixed and felt on top of the world. At that point I was well and truly over my fear of the dentist. Unfortunately, I was in an abusive marriage at that time and my husband made such a big deal about the cost of the dental work and used it to humiliate me in public by stating things like “My wife costs me a fortune. Do you know how much she’s spent at the dentist? blah, blah blah” He also claimed that I had been ripped off by the dentist, that I was a stupid sucker and that the dentist had over serviced me just to make money, etc. He was trying to blame me for his financial problems rather than take responsibility for his own financial irresponsibility through gambling and living beyond his means. Within 2 years one of the crowns broke and rather than go back to the dentist I just kept quiet about it. By this stage it was the fear of how my husband would react and what he was going to say that prevented me from going back to the dentist. Over the next 8 years my teeth have gradually started to disintegrate again as my crowns either broke or just fell out. I’ve also developed some decay. All the while this was happening I was also navigating a very difficult period of escalating domestic violence which culminated in myself and the children leaving the family home. I have been struggling financially & emotionally ever since and have just kept putting my teeth on the back burner. Now I’m at a place where my teeth are in a horrendous condition and I need to go to the dentist. I’m absolutely petrified and overwhelmed with shame, embarrassment and the fear of judgement. I am angry with myself for delaying dental treatment for so long and creating this monster that I now have to overcome. Avoiding the dentist has done nothing but fuel my anxiety and fear and made things so much worse. I am finding it so hard to pick up the phone to make this appointment. I’m thinking of going to a dentist who I know personally. Although this makes fear of judgement worse, at least I can trust him and know he will keep his costs fair. His wife works in the practice with him and I feel I need to ring and speak with her first and tell her how frightened I am and to forewarn them about the terrible condition of my teeth. I know I need a lot of work done that I can’t afford and that is stressing me out as well. Making this phone call is ridiculously hard and I don’t know if I can build up the courage to do it. Any encouragement to help me over this hump of mwould be greatly appreciated.
I’ve always had a dental phobia. It started when I was a child. I developed tooth decay when I was young and had the old mercury fillings done on a regular basis. At around age 7 I had a painfully bad experience at the dentist when he pulled a tooth that was infected and from that moment on I was scared and anxious about going to the dentist. As an adult I was definitely a procrastinator when it came to going to the dentist, but I used to push through the fear and anxiety and have work done only when necessary. By the time I was in my mid 40s most of my teeth had been overfilled and weakened and I needed quite a few crowns. I found a great understanding dentist who specialised in restorations and over the course of several months I had everything fixed and felt on top of the world. At that point I was well and truly over my fear of the dentist. Unfortunately, I was in an abusive marriage at that time and my husband made such a big deal about the cost of the dental work and used it to humiliate me in public by stating things like “My wife costs me a fortune. Do you know how much she’s spent at the dentist? blah, blah blah” He also claimed that I had been ripped off by the dentist, that I was a stupid sucker and that the dentist had over serviced me just to make money, etc. He was trying to blame me for his financial problems rather than take responsibility for his own financial irresponsibility through gambling and living beyond his means. Within 2 years one of the crowns broke and rather than go back to the dentist I just kept quiet about it. By this stage it was the fear of how my husband would react and what he was going to say that prevented me from going back to the dentist. Over the next 8 years my teeth have gradually started to disintegrate again as my crowns either broke or just fell out. I’ve also developed some decay. All the while this was happening I was also navigating a very difficult period of escalating domestic violence which culminated in myself and the children leaving the family home. I have been struggling financially & emotionally ever since and have just kept putting my teeth on the back burner. Now I’m at a place where my teeth are in a horrendous condition and I need to go to the dentist. I’m absolutely petrified and overwhelmed with shame, embarrassment and the fear of judgement. I am angry with myself for delaying dental treatment for so long and creating this monster that I now have to overcome. Avoiding the dentist has done nothing but fuel my anxiety and fear and made things so much worse. I am finding it so hard to pick up the phone to make this appointment. I’m thinking of going to a dentist who I know personally. Although this makes fear of judgement worse, at least I can trust him and know he will keep his costs fair. His wife works in the practice with him and I feel I need to ring and speak with her first and tell her how frightened I am and to forewarn them about the terrible condition of my teeth. I know I need a lot of work done that I can’t afford and that is stressing me out as well. Making this phone call is ridiculously hard and I don’t know if I can build up the courage to do it. Any encouragement to help me over this hump of mwould be greatly appreciated.