• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Dead man walking

today is sep 28 2020 and last time I was on here was in may 30 2009.
I am embarrassed to say that I am still today dealing with the dental phobia, I have visited dentist many times and leave with a prescription of meds and to never return.
honestly it’s a bit of a eye opener to look back at my past post and see that i’m not better off today then I was then, other then the fact that i’m still alive.
Today I am dealing with a lot of infection but it’s at a minimum and could blow up any day and I know this, Here in the USA it seems that the dentist do not have the understanding of people with dental phobia and trust me I have been to many over the years.
Does this website really offer help to those in the states?
sorry i’ve not found any assistance honestly.
I think there’s ppl with dental phobia and there is folks with dental phobia if that makes any sense.
I have a serious problem, I know this has already affected my body such as the infection and yet I still sit here and baby my problem. Sometimes I think it makes ya suicidal because the fear is so so so real.
I get anxiety bad just thinking about taking a pill or being put to sleep for I have never ever experienced any of the above.
I do feel hopeless I feel stupid and I feel helpless
Lost my dad Sep 7 2020 from a unknown heart attack just went to bed and never woke up, You would think that would trigger something and it did more anxiety and tons more worrying and yet
I still can not make myself go get this dental work done that is Years and years and years over due for me.

Folks,
What is wrong with me? I know the damage this is doing to me, I know it’s most definitely shortly my life here on earth and yet I still can not find my way to a dentist chair to improve my life.
Dental phobia is “real” well for me it is! I fear everything that involves dental care
thanks for reading.
 
Hi David,

there is so much hopelessness, regret and pain in your post, I can't even imagine how painful it must be to look back and realize that things haven't changed in years. And I am so sorry for your loss.. Sep 7 is just few weeks ago so things may be very difficult for you at the moment. Hope you are not alone in dealing with it, but have some support of your family or friends? Given how recently it happened, it would be a surprise if you were thinking of seeing a dentist right now. Hope you can stay kind to yourself and allow yourself to get through the shock and the grief.. these things really need time.

You are not stupid, I think you just really struggle with anxiety and phobia and feel defeated over the lack of progress. Also it seems to me that you really want help and get better on one side, but on the other side you just don't see anything that may be helpful. Feeling like living in US prevents you from ever finding a helpful dentist probably doesn't help either. What a frustrating place to be.. from what you write it sounds like you saw dentists, but obviously didn't receive the needed help. I want to believe there are dentists willing to help if you are willing to take some time and preparation to look for them.

"What is wrong with me" is a very painful question, but what is even worse is that this is the question that won't bring you any further. You can go on and wonder what's wrong and nothing will change. If you ever feel ready to try to move things forward (and the time needed to make this step is a very individual thing), then here are some questions that may be worthy reflecting upon:

What exactly are you looking for?
What kind of help do you need?
And what did you think of to tackle your issues?

Dental fear can be a very complex issue and very, very often, if we struggle in other areas of life, tackling it can be harder. Also tackling it is always a team work: there are things you can do and there are things a dentist/a GP/ a counselor can do. Nobody can help you without you doing your part, but also you can try as hard as you want and won't be able to help yourself without the support of at least a kind caring dentist.

Sending you hugs and look forward to read your thoughs. Please don't give up.:grouphug:
 
thank you for the kind words and honesty.
 
David,
I read your previous posts and I wanted to reach out to you to let you know that yes, there are dentists here in the US who understand and are experienced in dealing with phobic patients. I’m in Pennsylvania so I can’t really help you with that, but I encourage you to look for dentists online that specifically mention dealing with phobia. Maybe try emailing them to see how they respond. I completely understand your issues with being put to sleep, but it’s not like being put under for surgery, which involves a breathing tube. IV sedation is what I had - I was not aware of anything they were doing but I was awake so they could tell me to keep my mouth open.
 
so here I am again 2/8/21, another year gone and still dealing dental phobia and the restrictions of covid19. And on top of all that there are huge breaking stories coming out that Dental and Covid19 play a huge role in weather or not you survive Covid19 if you are to catch it.
Now for me this absolutely adds to the anxiety and stress of getting in to see a dentist for treatment, I am really lost here and honestly don’t know which way to run anymore.
I have took the advice from my past post and googled dentist in my area but folks around here just don’t seem to take the time to write reviews. Now some places in my past post it may seem that i’m so afraid that I can’t even walk into a dentist office and that’s not the case at all, I have no issues with making the first appointment it’s the other appointments I seem to run from (the treatments)
So I have a great deal of issues for sure.
and now that this storyline has broke out it’s most definitely time to cowboy up and try like hell to find some help,
thanks for listening as you all do!!
 
David,

I've been looking through your previous posts in this thread. And I just wanted to say that I understand what you're going through right now.

I know what it's like to go from one place to the next, getting a prescription for antibiotics then never going back or seeking further treatment. I've been to a doctor five times in two months and taken three courses of antibiotics during that time. I know it isn't good for my body, having repeated infections that keep coming back. But I'm honestly too afraid to do anything about it.

I also know what it's like to afraid of the unknown, to fear that something will go wrong and that you won't survive the treatment. That's one of the biggest things that holds me back, because I've never taken sedatives, or had surgery or anesthesia. None of that. And not only do I have health problems that may complicate the procedure, my family has a history of having bad reactions to general anesthesia. And by that I mean my mother and grandmother were almost comatose. They almost didn't wake up. And for me to get treatment, I need general anesthesia. And I can't help thinking that something will go wrong and I'll die. Or that I'll have a heart attack and die, because I already have a heart condition as it is, so I really don't need all the added fear and stress.

I don't want you to feel bad for being like this. I actually get what you're saying when you wrote about how there are people with dental phobia, and then there are people with dental phobia. I think that means that there are people who are afraid but still manage to get the treatment anyway, and then there are people who are so absolutely horrified that they cannot, even when it's damaging their health and they know it, force themselves to get treatment because the fear and anxiety is overwhelming.

That's me. I'm in my mid/late 30s, a grown adult, and I have screamed and cried and gone so hysterical that the dentist told me to leave, told me there was nothing they could do because even their strongest sedatives weren't going to be enough to calm me down. It's like I need a sedative to calm me down enough to take a sedative before the procedure, because even the thought of it, while I'm sitting there at the dentist is so terrifying that I lost control. I can't even take sedatives at home, I still have panic attacks, because all I can think about is the procedure, which I can't handle. No matter what happens, my fear always holds me back.

So I avoid treatment, I avoid anything that might make treatment possible because I lose it and start to panic. Even if I could find a place that does general anesthesia, I still don't think I could do it because the fear is just too great. I've honestly been avoiding treatment for six or seven years now. Maybe eight. It's been so long I forget.

There are other people here with really extreme fear and anxiety, and I'm one of them. I will admit that and I will tell you that you're not being a baby, and you're not crazy. I too have wondered what is wrong with me, wondered why I can't just do it, even though I'm getting sick and having these infections. But I can't get over it. I really can't, and trying to only makes it worse.

So please don't feel bad. You're not alone. I'd reach through the screen and give you a hug if I could. I'm sending virtual hugs instead. And I totally get it. Chances are I'll just continue to live like this, relying on my natural remedies and hoping for the best. It's all I can do, but I just wanted to make a post here in hopes you might feel a little better when you read it.
 
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Hi David, I just wanted to offer you some support as I’ve read your posts on here and I’m sorry things are so tough for you. You’ve been through a lot and as the years go by it makes it even harder to make a change.
I know what you mean when you say there’s people who have fear and then there’s people who have fear. I felt no one understood me until I found this website and read other people’s experiences and realised there are people in the same position.
My friends , family, colleagues never understood.
I avoided the dentist for about 12 years.
I even had a close friend who became a dentist and offer her services for free, she promised me she wouldn’t hurt me etc etc but I still avoided.
I moved abroad and got a great dental insurance as part of the package and still avoided , even though I could have got all these things done for free I avoided it.
I then moved back to the uk and lived with a massive infection for nearly 3 years. Then had to get it sorted after I gave birth everything kicked off in a major way and I was forced to get treatment for my health to be able to take care of my daughter.
Cost me a fortune. I continue to have issues with my teeth but I have slightly progressed from crying as soon as i set foot in the door to actually having some treatment done. I do need more and I’m currently putting that off.
Don’t beat yourself up about this.
There are people in this community who will support you whichever way you choose to progress.
If you wanted to tell me exactly where you are I could try and research somewhere for you if that would help. If you are ready to make the step. If not then that’s fine too. You are in control.
Keep in touch ?
 
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