• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

decaying/crumbling teeth and anxiety any advice ?



Junior member
Aug 21, 2014
Hey there I am a 28 years old and male.. And my problem honestly is years old (the last time I was at the dentist I was about 19 years old) . I have my back lower right wisdom tooth mostly crumbled away.. my right side the tooth area after the big K9 incisor is mostly crumbled away also and its started a bit on the same area on the upper left side. And just 3 days ago my left center tooth on the top sort of crumbled/cracked vertically down :cry:(I had a small cavity hole in the middle of the teeth that has occurred before; back when I was younger and got most of this stuff fixed many fillings and drilling and such) and on some teeth I can see black on some areas of other teeth and they feel like they have indents in that area? :shame: sigh im honestly afraid of biting into something and having my tooth just be left behind.

I wont lie to anyone my tooth brushing habits were far from good. They have improved a great deal lately but to little to late. (I now brush for 2 minutes with the crest pro health stuff and I rinse with Listerine total care after for about a minute or so twice a day) I could take a picture if people really want to see it but.. im so ashamed of how my teeth look.. I fear everyday my front teeth just breaking off entirely (even more so now) ..I have had fears of the dentist since I had braces ( I had a very bad orthodontist which was part of the reason I required work when I was 17-19) and on top of that I simply have severe anxiety to the point of not being able to go out very much if at all unless you count short 10 minute walks from my home. I honestly have no idea what to do .. depressed scared and no idea what I can even do to just slow down this decay(?) until I can find a way to do something about it Any advice , anything at all would be so greatly appreciated. I am afraid to even smile in front of my parents and friends. :confused:

I also have severe anxiety and barely get out at all.. I have moved twice in the past 1 1/2 - 2 years which required tranqs just to drive from point a to b than I dont go anywhere .. I mean I walk outside of the house but not far v_v - I have found a dentist who practices sedation about 20-40 minutes from my current residence but im just not sure I could even get there :cry:

I apologize if this seems like a double post - being a bit dense I posted in the wrong section before, my apologies :shame:

EDIT: I can provide a picture too though im sure it looks quite awful (not exaggerating either) also apologies if i seemed to ramble over the same points a couple of times >_<

Thank you~
Last edited:
Hey. :) You know posting here is a big step in and of itself. I know how hard it is to admit your fear and shame, and opening up shows that you're looking to make a change, and this is the first step. So be happy about that!

Don't be ashamed of anything that you feel. Anxiety and dental issues, they twist together and make it very difficult. Tons of people here have been through the exact same battles as you. And they've also found a way through, and you will too!

It's never too late to start taking oral hygiene seriously. I'm not a dentist and no dentist on here could give you any solid answers (even with pictures) because they require x-rays to see how deep the damage is. Dentists are pretty good at saving teeth though, and they'll use extractions as a last resort. If you do need extractions, rest assured that countless people here have had implants, partials and full dentures, and everyone will have lots of advice. I say this because I want you to know, you haven't crossed some line in which you'll never be happy with your mouth again.

Have you spoken to the doctor about any of this? Are you on medication for your anxiety? Do you have family or friends that could accompany you to the dentist and/or doctor, and if so, would that help? Don't be afraid of asking for help. It can be hard, but that's what family and friends are for.

I'm sorry you're depressed and having such a hard time at the moment. Don't give up hope. I've been in almost the exact same situation as you, and I'm here to tell the tale, so take that as some encouragement!

Take care :) x
Hey there , thank you for the reply :) ; I have been on many meds for this off and on since I was 15 - I am currently on Xanax (1.5 - 2 mg a day) and Metoprolol (12.5mg once aday) when i moved I required extra Benzo just to handle a 25 minute car ride :/

And yes I think like you said I would really have to ask someone from my family to take me and stay most likely.
Hi Gray,

You are very brave, as Sevena points out: just admitting your problem here on the forum and reaching out for help requires a lot of courage.

I have been in a similar situation myself, with teeth crumbling and breaking frequently, and the constant fear of something else breaking happening to a front tooth. I didn't brush my teeth at all really as an adult, and not all that much as a child, so I felt a huge amount of shame about my situation, and it felt like there was no way out.

I don't have any experience with your broader anxiety, but I do understand how all-consuming dental phobia can be-- how it can feel like all you are is a big set of horrible, neglected teeth.

What I will tell you is that it's not entirely your fault. Your story is very common here on the forums, and almost always at similar ages. Many of us were raised by parents who didn't teach us proper hygiene practices, and had bad experiences with dentists in our youth where were mean, insensitive, abusive, or just shaming, and so we decided just never to see the dentist again. Sometimes it can feel like everyone has perfect teeth except for us. But there's more of us than you think.

There is a way forward, and there is a way through. There are lots of wonderful dentists out there who will help fix your teeth, and won't shame you or scold you or blame you for the condition of your teeth. Most dental work can be done with no pain at all, and there are lots of ways for dentistry to restore, rebuild, and get your teeth back to healthy and attractive.

My own story: I had teeth that were rotting, broken, cracking, and eventually constantly painful. I hadn't brushed them in decades, and it was pretty common for me to break off a piece of tooth while eating. I was so ashamed of my teeth and so afraid of the dentist that I hoped I would die before I had to see one.

I found a compassionate dentist, and she didn't call me ugly or shameful or ask me why I'd never brushed my teeth. She just took some x-rays and told me she could help me fix them. This was about two years ago. She put me out of pain right away, and worked on my tooth (it never hurt at all), and I was home a couple of hours later, amazed at how easy and painless it was. It took a lot of visits but she fixed each tooth, and now I have a healthy smile, and I've taught myself to brush and floss every day.

I will say that the absolutely hardest part was working up the courage to see the dentist the first time. I was so certain I was going to explode or pass out or die or something. But I didn't-- it was actually a huge relief. After that, the visits got easier and I learned to trust my dentist. Now my teeth aren't exactly beautiful, but they're healthy and they don't break, and I'm proud of how I take care of them.

I just wanted you to know that it is actually possible to get from terrible, crumbling teeth to having a healthy smile. Everyone's mouth is different and everyone's journey is different, but once you get through that first appointment it gets a lot easier.

My advice is kind of boring and generic: see if you can find a compassionate dentist nearby, either by reading reviews online, checking recommendations on this site, or looking for dentists who advertise that they deal with nervous patients. There's a good section here on this site too, about finding the right dentist. Some people find it helpful to write a letter or email to the prospective dentist, describing their history and fears. I would advise not limiting yourself to just sedation dentists. Sedation can be a wonderful thing but lots of people think they can't do without it, and really with a kind dentist it's amazing what they can do to keep you at ease and not do anything painful. You may still choose sedation, but it's not the only way.

Anything you can do at home to improve your dental hygiene is helpful. It sounds like you've done a good job getting into a good brushing habit-- that's fantastic, and it will help. If you want to start learning to floss, that also will make a huge difference in your gums and teeth. I wrote a little article about how I started flossing here. It's uncomfortable at first but if you do it a little every night, it gets better and it really helps.

Good luck on your journey. I know it feels completely overwhelming and without hope, but lots of us on the forum have been where you are -- horrible teeth, shame, pain, and terror -- and have lived to see the other side. You can too, and you will in your own time. Take care.