Hi debb,
Here's some big hugs of courage for you:
And also,
for being so brave and facing your fears. I know you probably feel like a big crazy mess right now, but I'm really proud of you for taking the first step. You're an inspiration to a lot of people reading this.
You should expect to have a few x-rays, and the dentist will probably want to have a visual look around your mouth, and then he/she will discuss with you what your treatment options are. That's usually all that happens on a first visit. If the dentist wants to do a cleaning or anything else, it's important for you to know that you are in control, and if you don't feel up to that, you don't have to have it. Just having that first conversation is stressful enough for most of us, so don't feel bad to "just" do the exam today.
We tell people this a lot on the forum, because it's true: 1) The dentist has seen far worse teeth than you. He won't be shocked or offended by your teeth. Even if every single tooth is broken or has big giant holes in it, or whatever, the dentist has seen that. 2) The diagnosis is almost never as bad as we think it's going to be. There have been so many people here who were certain they'd lose all their teeth, and ended up just needing a few fillings, or some extractions but not nearly as bad as expected. That won't stop you from expecting the worst, but let that hope sink into your head a little.
Here's a little story about my first visit back, which might help a little.
I went back to the dentist for the first time a little over a year ago, after almost two decades away, and my mouth was a complete, ugly mess. I was so afraid and ashamed and embarrassed, and I thought the dentist would gasp with horror and want to immediately start pulling teeth out.
What actually happened was, the dentist and her whole staff were really compassionate and professional. I had to wait maybe five minutes in the waiting room, and the receptionist was so apologetic for making me wait so long. Me, who'd waited twenty years!!! She said something like, "I know how hard it is to sit and wait," and really made me feel worthy. It had actually taken a terrible, painful toothache to make me go to the dentist, so I was in pain on top of it all.
The dentist and her assistant, rather than gasping, was very kind and promised that she'd get me out of pain as soon as possible. Before I would open my mouth, I told her, "There's some really ugly stuff in there." She just smiled and said, "Let's just get you out of pain today... I won't even look at your other teeth at all." She got me out of pain immediately, worked on the problem tooth without any pain AT ALL, and an hour later sent me home. She said that if I wanted to, I could schedule a consultation to check out the other teeth. I said, "Did you SEE how bad they are?" But she just said, "We'll take some x-rays and look at them from the inside." She acted like I was a normal person! She didn't seem the least bit bothered by my snaggled, broken, dirty teeth.
On the day of my consultation, she and her assistant took some x-rays and talked calmly with me about what procedures I needed. They were both really patient and didn't lecture or scold me for the condition of my teeth (or even ask how they'd gotten that way), and even made a little game out of taking the x-rays as fast as possible, since I'm a gagger. She looked around my mouth with a mirror but never touched or poked at anything. They gave me a fairly long list of procedures I needed, and said to give them a call when and if I wanted to start doing any of the work. No one pressured me or demanded to start working on anything. And again, they acted like I was a normal person with a normal mouth.
... which is what you are! You are a normal person, with a normal mouth, who's put off some dental work. You're not bad or dirty or defective. Maybe you neglected your teeth for a long time, and maybe you feel bad about that. But, you're doing something about that now, and it's never too late to start fixing up your smile, and you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to change. Your mouth and your body will be so much healthier, and the shame of hiding your smile can go away. Today is the first step of a journey... you might a little bit of work or a lot, but you'll feel so much better once you get started.
Good luck and strength to you!
it feels great after facing a fear, doesn't it? things aren't ALWAYS as bad as they seem. if you're nervous about the cleaning and your teeth are sensitive, maybe ask them to numb the area? my mum has this done as her bottom front teeth are sensitive. hopefully they'd do that for you.
