NervousUSA
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2022
- Messages
- 465
- Location
- USA
Hi! Here is my dental fear story, sorry it is so long. Some background, my main fears are anesthesia and sedation, and uneccessary treatment or dishonesty due to financial motivation. I am an anxious, sensitive person, who is very shy and socially anxious.
I did not fear the dentist until I became an older teen and, as was standard routine in my part of the USA in the 90s, began pushing for me to have a preventative removal of all my wisdom teeth under general anesthetic. When I asked why, they said they would be hard to clean. I refused to do this, and instinctively felt it was uneccesary or financially motivated. When the nagging and pressure continued, I stopped going to the dentist for a bit longer than the next ten years. I am mortally terrified by the idea of being given a general anesthetic, and panic almost at the mention of it. I now feel like this dentist should have told me there were other options for wisdom teeth, they can be removed later, not all at once, not always with general anesthetic, etc, and I feel like they didn't serve me well pushing for this one treatment and acting like there wasn't another.
I have two retained baby teeth and eventually these started to break down and decay so I was forced to return to seeing dentists. I first had to get one fixed by a very imposing, angry, and agressive male emergency dentist in a large and intimidating office, which was my first appointment of over a decade. He was yelling at his assistant, making terrible comments to me, and it was just horrible.
I chose my next dentist to be unintimidating. A small female dentist with no hygenist or assistant in a small, run down office. I knew she wasn't the best, most hygenic, or most painless. I was able to tolerate her fixing my filings in my retained baby teeth which often needed to be done, and she gave me antibiotics when one got infected. I didn't like it that she was pressuring me hard to get the worst baby tooth pulled and replaced with an implant or bridge. One time she grabbed her hand mirror, pulled down my lip, and started loudly saying my baby tooth looked so ugly and terrible, trying to convince me. I didn't say anything, and she said "I guess it always looks like that". I feel like this dentist exagerated the need to replace my tooth if it was pulled, because she said things like my other teeth would fall over like dominos if I was missing that molar, and that she was financially motivated to exagerate the need to replace my tooth if it was pulled. I have seen lots of people missing a molar and not having a problem. In fact, I think she may have been missing one herself.
I had to move to a new state and was afraid to go to a new dentist for more than a year. Finally I founds the smallest office I could with another female dentist, I thought this would make me more comfortable. This one was more aggressive about wanting to pull and replace my baby tooth, I also feel she was exagerating how bad it would be for me to be missing a molar and not replacing it. On about my fourth appoinment when I came in (this spring) the hygenist told me the dentist was getting upset about my baby tooth. I heard the dentist with her voice raised, almost a yell, outside the room say "It's still there !?!" She came in very angry and upset talking about wanting to pull my baby tooth and replace it. I said I wasn't ready to and was very visibly angry and told me she would be writing a treatment plan which was for me to have it removed and replaced with an implant under general anesthetic by an oral surgeon. She didn't offer me any input on the plan. I had told her I didn't want a general anesthetic before but I guess she forgot. I was made to go to the front to get a quote and told to call when ready to start the plan. I feel like she was also glossing over that you don't necessarily have to replace a tooth and exagerating the risks of missing one. She also brought up and offered me veneers on my front teeth one time which I hadn't ever mentioned or expressed interest in. I had a feeling of fear of uneccesary treatment with this dentist though I wasn't that personally put in fear mode by her.
A few months later my baby tooth was infected and so was one of my wisdom teeth. I decided to try a new dentist. I found one that advertised on his website about doing dental implants and wisdom teeth extractions but didn't offer general anesthetic. When I went to this guys office I felt in panic mode the whole time even though he was nice, it was a big fancy office, with a lot of staff, and I fear men and all male medical and dental personel more than females, I wasn't able to hide my massive fear. He was very confused when I said I wanted to get my wisdom tooth taken out without general anesthetic saying "but you are anxious" but he did seem to understand I told him I feared anesthesia more than dentistry. They made a treatment plan there to get an extraction of my infected baby tooth and wisdom tooth, and the oposing wisdom tooth, and to get a dental implant to replace my baby tooth. I went to one appointment already and got the baby tooth extracted. I was terrified and misearabley sad, like wanting to cry, but it was painless, however I got very disassociated while they did it, and I think they may think I was high or something. Even though it seems like things have improved I am struggling with fear and thoughts about this on my mind all the time. My main fear, and this sounds a little weird, is that this guy will try to press me to take nitrous oxide, which I know he does have at his office, for either of the bigger procedures, the dental implant or wisdom teeth. I am worried about trying to push back on that if it happens too, in case I lost my option to be treated by this dentist entirely, because it seems many places in my state and area require iv sedation or general anesthesia for these procedures, which terrify me even more. I fear the procedures too, but it is a background thing to my fear of sedatives and anesthetics. I wish I could get over the issue I am having with the big fancy office with lots of staff and a male dentist too. I know that I am coming across as rude and unfriendly in this office. I didn't thank the dentist after he pulled my baby tooth so he said "well thank you" so then I remembered to. I realize my earlier choices for small offices and female dentists were actually causing me not to choose the best people skill wise and there are very few choices in my somewhat rural area, and almost no women dentists at all.
I really wish I could just get treatment without people trying to push me on procedures or drugs. I am already stressed over my dental problems, but the idea of drugs is like an addition that makes it a nightmare for me. The thought of being drugged makes me sweat and feel like I am falling apart.
I am going back on Monday for a xray to start the progress toward the implant, which I requested to do first, but I believe the dentist may actually want to do the wisdom tooth extraction first, so I don't know what will happen.
I would be grateful for advice or just some kind support. I feel like nobody is having an experience like mine.
I did not fear the dentist until I became an older teen and, as was standard routine in my part of the USA in the 90s, began pushing for me to have a preventative removal of all my wisdom teeth under general anesthetic. When I asked why, they said they would be hard to clean. I refused to do this, and instinctively felt it was uneccesary or financially motivated. When the nagging and pressure continued, I stopped going to the dentist for a bit longer than the next ten years. I am mortally terrified by the idea of being given a general anesthetic, and panic almost at the mention of it. I now feel like this dentist should have told me there were other options for wisdom teeth, they can be removed later, not all at once, not always with general anesthetic, etc, and I feel like they didn't serve me well pushing for this one treatment and acting like there wasn't another.
I have two retained baby teeth and eventually these started to break down and decay so I was forced to return to seeing dentists. I first had to get one fixed by a very imposing, angry, and agressive male emergency dentist in a large and intimidating office, which was my first appointment of over a decade. He was yelling at his assistant, making terrible comments to me, and it was just horrible.
I chose my next dentist to be unintimidating. A small female dentist with no hygenist or assistant in a small, run down office. I knew she wasn't the best, most hygenic, or most painless. I was able to tolerate her fixing my filings in my retained baby teeth which often needed to be done, and she gave me antibiotics when one got infected. I didn't like it that she was pressuring me hard to get the worst baby tooth pulled and replaced with an implant or bridge. One time she grabbed her hand mirror, pulled down my lip, and started loudly saying my baby tooth looked so ugly and terrible, trying to convince me. I didn't say anything, and she said "I guess it always looks like that". I feel like this dentist exagerated the need to replace my tooth if it was pulled, because she said things like my other teeth would fall over like dominos if I was missing that molar, and that she was financially motivated to exagerate the need to replace my tooth if it was pulled. I have seen lots of people missing a molar and not having a problem. In fact, I think she may have been missing one herself.
I had to move to a new state and was afraid to go to a new dentist for more than a year. Finally I founds the smallest office I could with another female dentist, I thought this would make me more comfortable. This one was more aggressive about wanting to pull and replace my baby tooth, I also feel she was exagerating how bad it would be for me to be missing a molar and not replacing it. On about my fourth appoinment when I came in (this spring) the hygenist told me the dentist was getting upset about my baby tooth. I heard the dentist with her voice raised, almost a yell, outside the room say "It's still there !?!" She came in very angry and upset talking about wanting to pull my baby tooth and replace it. I said I wasn't ready to and was very visibly angry and told me she would be writing a treatment plan which was for me to have it removed and replaced with an implant under general anesthetic by an oral surgeon. She didn't offer me any input on the plan. I had told her I didn't want a general anesthetic before but I guess she forgot. I was made to go to the front to get a quote and told to call when ready to start the plan. I feel like she was also glossing over that you don't necessarily have to replace a tooth and exagerating the risks of missing one. She also brought up and offered me veneers on my front teeth one time which I hadn't ever mentioned or expressed interest in. I had a feeling of fear of uneccesary treatment with this dentist though I wasn't that personally put in fear mode by her.
A few months later my baby tooth was infected and so was one of my wisdom teeth. I decided to try a new dentist. I found one that advertised on his website about doing dental implants and wisdom teeth extractions but didn't offer general anesthetic. When I went to this guys office I felt in panic mode the whole time even though he was nice, it was a big fancy office, with a lot of staff, and I fear men and all male medical and dental personel more than females, I wasn't able to hide my massive fear. He was very confused when I said I wanted to get my wisdom tooth taken out without general anesthetic saying "but you are anxious" but he did seem to understand I told him I feared anesthesia more than dentistry. They made a treatment plan there to get an extraction of my infected baby tooth and wisdom tooth, and the oposing wisdom tooth, and to get a dental implant to replace my baby tooth. I went to one appointment already and got the baby tooth extracted. I was terrified and misearabley sad, like wanting to cry, but it was painless, however I got very disassociated while they did it, and I think they may think I was high or something. Even though it seems like things have improved I am struggling with fear and thoughts about this on my mind all the time. My main fear, and this sounds a little weird, is that this guy will try to press me to take nitrous oxide, which I know he does have at his office, for either of the bigger procedures, the dental implant or wisdom teeth. I am worried about trying to push back on that if it happens too, in case I lost my option to be treated by this dentist entirely, because it seems many places in my state and area require iv sedation or general anesthesia for these procedures, which terrify me even more. I fear the procedures too, but it is a background thing to my fear of sedatives and anesthetics. I wish I could get over the issue I am having with the big fancy office with lots of staff and a male dentist too. I know that I am coming across as rude and unfriendly in this office. I didn't thank the dentist after he pulled my baby tooth so he said "well thank you" so then I remembered to. I realize my earlier choices for small offices and female dentists were actually causing me not to choose the best people skill wise and there are very few choices in my somewhat rural area, and almost no women dentists at all.
I really wish I could just get treatment without people trying to push me on procedures or drugs. I am already stressed over my dental problems, but the idea of drugs is like an addition that makes it a nightmare for me. The thought of being drugged makes me sweat and feel like I am falling apart.
I am going back on Monday for a xray to start the progress toward the implant, which I requested to do first, but I believe the dentist may actually want to do the wisdom tooth extraction first, so I don't know what will happen.
I would be grateful for advice or just some kind support. I feel like nobody is having an experience like mine.
.