• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Dental Phobia + Upcoming Appointment Anxiety



Junior member
Apr 25, 2015
Sacramento, CA
Hello! I'm new here, but I really need some help calming myself for my future appointment...

For starters, I know that my teeth are in bad health and I have bad habits! Last time I went to the dentist... okay it was September of 2008! What can I say? I was depressed and very suicidal. Attempted suicide a few times, and when you are that depressed... do your pearly whites really matter? I wasn't smiling anyway! Ahem... anyway, I am a chronic soda drinker (diet soda, as I am recently diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic) and I need something sweet. I do brush as often as possible, and floss everyday. Keep in mind this is a new habit... I didn't brush often at all before, but I rarely left my room. Flossing was out of the question, luckily I found those little helpful flossers (I have one of the worst gag reflexes ever, even with my throat numbed I gag).

Last time I went and sat in the dentist chair, I apparently had 14 cavities! Jeez. Soooo after 7 years I can only imagine the slow damage to my poor teeth. I have no pain, or if I ever do it's for a couple hours and stops. But it has only been recent, and maybe 3 times? But I can see the cavities in the back molars, and some popping up on my front teeth, just flat little "pothole" looking guys.

I would like some help calming down and maybe some reassurance it won't be so bad? :c I get serious phobia attacks, I'll break down crying just thinking about it. When I look at my teeth in the mirror and think about it, my heart races and I get red faced. Thank you for reading!
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I was in the same boat - didn't take care of my teeth much (bad habits from when I was a child - turned out I'm allergic to something in most toothpastes so as a child brushing my teeth = itchy gums and pain in my teeth), haven't been in ages (probably over 8 years), and I knew I needed work done, but I was avoiding it. Until a molar broke and it was scratching up my tongue...

For me, the worst part was going there and having the examination and all of those x-rays. I'm thankful, at least, that the only time I gag is when someone is working in the back of my mouth on my right side (left side though has no troubles). The tech taking my x-rays realized that the right-side would be an issue so she said to wiggle my feet - I totally focused on doing just that and it helped a lot. (Perhaps it is something that could help you too)

I had my husband come with me - my dentist didn't mind him being in the room too - so hubby held my hand while the dentist went through the LOOOONNNNGGGG list of things that I need done (3 pages ;) ). Some tears and pouting, which the dentist consoled me and gave me some alone time with hubby. Dentist came back and went through what I should do right away this year that most of my insurance will cover or at least get me a discount on and what I can do in the coming years.

Since then, it hasn't been as bad... no more tears at all. I'm still anxious about some procedures - I don't mind the needles but I HATE HATE HATE when they hit a nerve in my jaw because of the pain (that honestly only lasts maybe 5 seconds tops). Hubby will either not come (if I'm okay) or will sit in the waiting room now. (Although my next procedure it is a bit more intense so he is planning on leaving work early the day of and taking off the next day to baby me - I've already put in to have 2 days off since I have the sick time (and the person who handles sub coverage totally told me to take the days to heal up))

Now that I'm over the initial hump, it really isn't that bad. I've been sticking with cleaning my teeth every morning and evening (and trying for in-between then when I can) so I hope my dentist sees some improvements :) (I have almost no bleeding from my gums - although I think they still look a bit red/swollen??)
im sorry for what you are going through. really hope that you are getting help with depression, it sounds pretty seriouse. well... atleast you went for check ups 7 years ago. 7years of not seeing dentist isn't that long at all. (compare to me and some people in this forum) try 30 years! for me. when I finally went there because I couldn't chew anymore, I have to extract all my top teeth and get a denture. im still in process. only been 2 weeks since extraction. so im sitting here typing toothless:). for your description, sounds like it decay problem. that's not bad at all, atleast you get to save your teeth. think of this way getting denture isn't so bad but you really want to keep your own teeth. looks like you'll get to keep them, well most of them.. get it done! don't wait like me, situation im in sucks. only if knew dental work was this breeze, I would've gone long time ago and save my teeth. because of my childhood trauma, dentist was out of question until it was too late to save any of them.
so, go and get fixed. once you start, you gonna know that its not bad. you'll gonna say why did I avoid dentist. this isn't bad at all. luckly I didn't feel much pain. yes I did have pain im not gonna lie to you. but pain that I went though with dentist is nothing compare to pain I indure all those years of rotting teeth. Go and getem done!! wish you luck