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Dentist appointment this friday and really close to cancelling it due to state of my teeth



Junior member
Nov 14, 2023
Hi, I'm 29 and haven't been the dentist since I was about 10. My teeth have always been a concern for me since I was little.

I have recently finished ivf which I had to pay for which took me over 7 years to finally get my bundle of joy. While doing ivf I ended up with depression and couldn't talk to anyone or leave my house. During this time my teeth were the last thing on my mind as I didn't care about myself or anyone apart from trying to conceive.

I've finally got my beautiful bundle of joy and know its time to sort my teeth out as loads of them gave fell out due to stress and not having money to go the dentist. I've lost 4 teeth and need a gap filling between my teeth which wasn't there before I done ivf.

I'm absolutely terrified about going the dentist and I feel so ashamed I've let myself get to the point of all my teeth falling out. I'm hoping once I've told the dentist why I haven't been for so long they'll understand and won't be harsh on me. I think I'd actually cry.

Has anyone been in the same situation or facing this now? I don't want sympathy as it's my own fault my teeth are awful.

Any advice or feedback would be really appreciated as I'm absolutely heartbroken and sad going the dentist in this situation.
I've seen plenty of dentists over recent years and none of them have been judgemental.

There have been a few that weren't overly kind, hence never going back (I'm probably going back 10ys here). If it's NHS there may be limited choices, but there was no way I'd continue to let someone touch me who couldn't find it in them to be kind (he told me off, telling me I couldn't possibly feel any pain. I absolutely could. He stopped work on me and generally gave me a hard time).
Back to the point, during initial consultations they've inquired into my situation in an attempt to help, not to judge.. (wanting to know why I lost my teeth, why they're in the shape they are etc). So if they ask it's because the want to help/offer advice. NHS rarely had the time to ask that much tbh, it's been private dentists who have spoken to me at any length about things.

Whatever the reason for the state of someone's teeth I don't think it warrants judgement.. they're your teeth and you're the one dealing with them, the fact you want to sort your issues says a lot. My nannas teeth were ruined through medication, it's not something she could help, nor predict... This isn't your fault.

For what it's worth I went through a period of depression and not brushing. I'm suffering the consequences and it's not fun. We all have our reasons x

I wouldn't worry, I'm sure it will be fine X and congratulations on your baby 🐥
@Nicci thank you for taking the time to reply to me. You've made me feel a lot better about going tomorrow. I suffered with depression during ivf with it taking quite a while and the money to pay for it 🥺 it was definitely all worth it! Thank you so much! Hopefully tomorrow it'll all go well and ill be given a plan to sort my teeth out so I can finally smile again ☺️

Have a lovely day xxx
@baby93 hi, I know the feeling, I really do. I couldn’t even walk past a dentist without feeling the panic build inside 😨 I’m 31 and went to the dentist for the first time in august after 12 years. I ended up needing a deep clean, 1 filling and 5 tooth extractions as a few of my back teeth were so badly broken and couldn’t be saved. The initial appointment was awful and I did cry but the dentist was so lovely and didn’t make it seem like a big deal at all. I’d say deffo look at some reviews and find a nice dentist/practice who are good with phobic patients! I’ve ended up going private and the cost is extortionate 😬 after a few visits I genuinely wondered WHY I had put it off for so long - couldn’t really answer it tbh but it was totally my fault. I think the anxiety I had as a child just snowballed and I kept putting off and putting it off until it was so bad I just felt so so embarrassed about it. I’m now just starting the Invisalign process & once that’s complete will look at getting implants to replace my missing teeth. I never ever ever thought I’d be able to get to this point but I have & so will you. You will be absolutely fine I promise xx
@Loren182 I'm exactly the same. I feel sick to the stomach tonight because I know I'm there in the morning 😔. I think once I've been and seen them ill be ok .. its just the embarrassment of someone seeing inside my mouth after all the neglect and everything else. This time tomorrow I'll have a set plan and know exactly what's going on. I'm paying too so its more money but I'm seeing it as money well spent and its for my own good. Thank you so much for making me feel better about going tomorrow. I just hope im not shouted at for my teeth being so bad. Fingers crossed I'll be OK. Thank you! I hope your well xxx
@baby93 just a little update for myself really as I made the big step and feel so much better for it. My dentist was so lovely and talked to me about how she can help me make my mouth feel and look better. I was expecting so much more to be wrong but she told even if if was she can help me. I'm booked in again in 2 weeks time to start my treatment and I'm honestly kicking myself worrying about going. It was honestly a relief when I left the dentist today and I don't feel so scared going back as I know this time next month my treatment will be over and I'll be back on the right track of looking after myself ❤️
@baby93 oh amazing!!! So glad you’re on the right track, it’s such a relief isn’t it xx
@Loren182 I left the dentist thinking why did I leave it for so long! I'm so happy now. Thank you xxx