Dentist appointment tomorrow. Terrified.

M

MagnetoWasRight

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I haven't seen a dentist in over five years. I'm 23 years old. I didn't take care of my teeth at all and even when I used to they'd end up decaying horribly. I came from an abusive family that didn't really care much for any sort of dental hygiene.

My teeth are horribly damaged. I have a lot of decay and probably need a lot of root canals or extractions. Some have chipped leaving large chunks missing. They rub against my tongue and cheeks so I use toothwax to cover them. I don't chew due to this.

I had no plans to get help until I felt a small bump above one of my back molars. At first I thought I just cut it somehow, but soon realized it was probably the tooth. I don't have any pus coming out of it and it doesn't really hurt, but it's not going away. So, I did it. I made the appointment. I couldn't even call them. I ended up emailing them and made it that way. I'm terrified. The appointment is tomorrow and I'm afraid of the dentist judging me. I want to cry.

I only have the money to get one tooth pulled. I'm aware I'll probably be told I need a lot of work done. I've accepted I may need multiple extractions. I'm alright even if I need dentures, I'm mostly just afraid of the dentist scolding me. I know my teeth are bad. I don't want them to be. Yes, I probaby should've taken care of them better, but overcoming the feeling of a tooth brush was hard. I hate brushing my teeth, the feeling is horrible.

I have ADHD combined with general anxiety and a horrible fear of the dentist, but I'm trying. I've started brushing again, despite the sensory overload, and even started flossing, but this isn't going to save my teeth from the damage already done.

I'm terrified of the dentist judging me. I don't want to cry in front of him, but I know I probably will. Any comforting words would be sincerely appreciated.
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Dear MagnetoWasRight,

you have been very brave for making an appointment and your fear is very understandable. After all, it's a huge step you are making and the first appointment is often the most difficult. Sorry to hear about the situation in your family. Without a loving support from parents, taking care of teeth (or of yourself in general actually) is very hard up to impossible so it's great that you are plucking up the courage now.

How do you feel about your dental practice? Did they reply kindly to you email? Do they know about your fear of judgment?

I don't think that you should have taken care of your teeth better, on the contrary - I think that, given your background, you didn't have too much of a choice and are now on your way to change it. Support and help is all you deserve. It might be a good idea to let your practice know about your fears, if you haven't already. It might be also good to let you know you wouldn't like to cry but probably will. This might help your dental team to make sure they will take good care of you.

All the best wishes and give yourself a pat on the back for coming this far already.
 
M

MagnetoWasRight

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Dear MagnetoWasRight,

you have been very brave for making an appointment and your fear is very understandable. After all, it's a huge step you are making and the first appointment is often the most difficult. Sorry to hear about the situation in your family. Without a loving support from parents, taking care of teeth (or of yourself in general actually) is very hard up to impossible so it's great that you are plucking up the courage now.

How do you feel about your dental practice? Did they reply kindly to you email? Do they know about your fear of judgment?

I don't think that you should have taken care of your teeth better, on the contrary - I think that, given your background, you didn't have too much of a choice and are now on your way to change it. Support and help is all you deserve. It might be a good idea to let your practice know about your fears, if you haven't already. It might be also good to let you know you wouldn't like to cry but probably will. This might help your dental team to make sure they will take good care of you.

All the best wishes and give yourself a pat on the back for coming this far already.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. It means a lot.

When I emailed them I let them know my teeth were bad and had a phobia. They didn't say anything about it, just helped me make an appointment.

I plan on making it very clear that I'm anxious when I get there. I'll try my best to speak to the dentist before the extraction. My main concern is trying to find the opportunity to speak to him, as a lot of the time doctors seem to be in a hurry, so I'm afraid there won't be a chance for discussion.

I know in the end nothing will change about my life, except I might be missing some teeth, but it's just so hard to get over the fear of judgement.

If I don't like this dentist, I plan on trying other ones out, but I'm worried about that as well since I live in a very small rural area and all the dentists are around 30 miles away.

I ended up choosing this dentist because he does a free dental day every year where people can come and get work done if they can't afford it. I thought that might mean he's a caring person, hopefully he is.
 
Dg6300

Dg6300

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You got this!

Good luck. You’ll do great.

Let us us know how it goes.
 
Enarete

Enarete

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I plan on making it very clear that I'm anxious when I get there. I'll try my best to speak to the dentist before the extraction. My main concern is trying to find the opportunity to speak to him, as a lot of the time doctors seem to be in a hurry, so I'm afraid there won't be a chance for discussion.

You will definitely get a chance to speak to your dentist before anything gets done. After all, he needs to get to know you a bit and will want to know what brought you to his practice. Having a good chat is also important because he'll needs your informed consent before anything gets done and a good explanation of what he suggest to be done is a part of this.

Free dental day once a year sounds like a good indication of him being kind. If he provides free treatment once a year for people who can't afford it then it's unlikely he would be judgmental or scold you - on the contrary, he will be experienced with people in your situation and have compassion.

It's great that you already have a back up plan if you don't like the dentist. I wish he will be a good fit right away, but having a back up plan gives you a bit more freedom and independence tomorrow.
 
M

MagnetoWasRight

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It's 6:38 AM and my appointment is at 9. I'm scared. My girlfriend and her grandma are taking me, so I'll have people there I can trust. I keep replaying what I want to say to the dentist in my head. I'm afraid he's going to want to do a bunch of work on me right away, I wouldn't mind that usually, but I don't have much money to repair all of my teeth just yet. I feel ashamed for showing up and only getting a single tooth pulled.

I'm also still afraid he's going to judge me, but I have a feeling he won't be able to judge me as much as I judge myself.

Judgement or not, I'm still getting my mouth looked at today. I'm not backing out. I read more on his website and he says he offers special sedation for people with anxiety. I probably can't afford it, but knowing this makes me feel more comfortable, because it sounds like he's dealt with phobics before.

Wish me luck!
 
T

Thephilsblogbar

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It's 6:38 AM and my appointment is at 9. I'm scared. My girlfriend and her grandma are taking me, so I'll have people there I can trust. I keep replaying what I want to say to the dentist in my head. I'm afraid he's going to want to do a bunch of work on me right away, I wouldn't mind that usually, but I don't have much money to repair all of my teeth just yet. I feel ashamed for showing up and only getting a single tooth pulled.

I'm also still afraid he's going to judge me, but I have a feeling he won't be able to judge me as much as I judge myself.

Judgement or not, I'm still getting my mouth looked at today. I'm not backing out. I read more on his website and he says he offers special sedation for people with anxiety. I probably can't afford it, but knowing this makes me feel more comfortable, because it sounds like he's dealt with phobics before.

Wish me luck!


It is very unlikely the dentist will judge about your teeth (your the customer) I go regularly and always think my dentist will judge about my teeth.

I doubt you would have any teeth removed teeth if needed, or needles for fillings etc today

Good luck,
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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Magnetowasright,

I hope your appt is going well/went well by the time you get this.. let us know ! and if any dentist judges you or is harsh or hard, remember it is their problem and there are a lot of compassionate dentists who will not! I hope this one treated you very kindly and you will be able to get the help and care you need and deserve!
 
J

JasonD

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Aug 6, 2018
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9
It's 6:38 AM and my appointment is at 9. I'm scared. My girlfriend and her grandma are taking me, so I'll have people there I can trust. I keep replaying what I want to say to the dentist in my head. I'm afraid he's going to want to do a bunch of work on me right away, I wouldn't mind that usually, but I don't have much money to repair all of my teeth just yet. I feel ashamed for showing up and only getting a single tooth pulled.

I'm also still afraid he's going to judge me, but I have a feeling he won't be able to judge me as much as I judge myself.

Judgement or not, I'm still getting my mouth looked at today. I'm not backing out. I read more on his website and he says he offers special sedation for people with anxiety. I probably can't afford it, but knowing this makes me feel more comfortable, because it sounds like he's dealt with phobics before.

Wish me luck!

MagnetoWasRight,

Don't feel ashamed for showing up for any reason. Feel proud for showing up for any reason. That means even if it's a single tooth extraction. The fact that you went is a real testament to your courage and strong will. If I were to guess, I would guess that a dentist appointment is the #1 appointment among any profession that gets cancelled on the most consistent basis - anxiety being the key factor.

We are proud of you for going. Our dental hygiene is very important. We must stay on top of it regardless of our fears. Let us know how things went!

Take care.
 
M

MagnetoWasRight

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Joined
Aug 5, 2018
Messages
40
Thank you guys sooo much for the kind words. I thought about them on my way there and they helped a lot.

I was extremely nervous my entire time there, but everyone was so kind. It went better than I expected. They reassured me I was fine and handed me tissues when I cried. I explained my fears and the dentist gave me nitrous oxide and didn't even charge for it.

The tooth was pulled today, which I didn't expect, but I'm pleased by since I won't have an infection building up anymore.

They told me that I had options for saving my teeth, but I can't afford them. The dentist recommended removing all my top teeth and giving me immediate dentures, I wasn't surprised by this because I expected it. I plan on getting them all removed when I have the money. Dentures seem kinda scary, but I think they'll be easier for me to take care of and maybe one day I'll be able to afford implants.

I currently have gauze on my extracted tooth and it's bleeding still, but I feel good despite that. I'm so happy I'm on the journey to a healthier mouth. I'm still afraid of the dentist, but I feel like I found one that understands my fears. I like him a lot

Thank you all so much for being my support through this. I plan on sticking around.
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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So glad things went well and you found someone you seem comfortable with enough and was very kind through it. It really does make a world of difference! HOpe you can do something special for yourself for making it through this :).. sounds like the start of a great dental future. not easy.. but supportive there and we got you here :).
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Heyyyy, very well done! :jump:

It's delightful to read that you like the dentist and that they all treated you kindly. Also how lovely that he gave you nitrous and didn't charge you for that. Let me tell you a secret: kind caring dentists and dental stuff actually feel happy for nervous patients that manage to get past the fear. So sticking around is not only the best thing you can do for yourself, but also a way to acknowledge their efforts. May you find the money for the extractions soon. Also amazing is that your girlfriend and her grandma supported you, how lovely it is to have even two trusted people accompanying you.

Again, very well done, you were very courageous. Hope you treat yourself very kindly now and feel proud of yourself:)
 
J

JasonD

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Aug 6, 2018
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Thank you guys sooo much for the kind words. I thought about them on my way there and they helped a lot.

I was extremely nervous my entire time there, but everyone was so kind. It went better than I expected. They reassured me I was fine and handed me tissues when I cried. I explained my fears and the dentist gave me nitrous oxide and didn't even charge for it.

The tooth was pulled today, which I didn't expect, but I'm pleased by since I won't have an infection building up anymore.

They told me that I had options for saving my teeth, but I can't afford them. The dentist recommended removing all my top teeth and giving me immediate dentures, I wasn't surprised by this because I expected it. I plan on getting them all removed when I have the money. Dentures seem kinda scary, but I think they'll be easier for me to take care of and maybe one day I'll be able to afford implants.

I currently have gauze on my extracted tooth and it's bleeding still, but I feel good despite that. I'm so happy I'm on the journey to a healthier mouth. I'm still afraid of the dentist, but I feel like I found one that understands my fears. I like him a lot

Thank you all so much for being my support through this. I plan on sticking around.

That is great news :respect: and we are so glad that you got over your anxiety and decided to be strong and keep the appointment. It sounds like as others have said this is the first step in really improving your quality of life by staying on top of your dental work on a consistent basis. The fact that you found a dentist that is caring and you feel comfortable with makes all the difference in the world. Treat yourself for a job well done.

Always remember, when we confront fear head-on, we control it. It no longer controls us.

Take care.
 
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