Dentist conservative/hygienist aggressive with opposite opinions?

[NervousUSA]

My front teeth are really worn because they fit together too tight and wrongly. My old dentist told me I should have veneers. When I asked her if I really needed that or if it was cosmetic, she said right now it was cosmetic but I would have no choice about it in the future. I switched dentists, and my new dentist said he thought it was best not to work on my front teeth right now, he couldn't predict my future wear, and was best for me not to have orthodontics, it was best I do nothing. I have a crown from this new dentist that is paler color than my other teeth. I went in and showed him and he said he agreed with me about the color and provided me with a bleaching kit to try and fade my other teeth.

Yesterday I went in for a cleaning, and so met with a hygienist. The hygienist told me that bleaching could never whiten my teeth because my enamel is too eroded due to polishing by dentists! So why did the dentist give me this bleach kit then?! Then she told me veneers or crowns would make my teeth look really white! This made me freak out so I loudly told her that was a bad idea and she tried to calm me down by patting my arm. She was telling me I could never get my teeth "as white as you want" so I told her I just wanted to fade my teeth to match my crown. So she then told me my crown matches and it is a trick of the light if I think it doesn't! Just last month the dentist told me my crown didn't match and gave me a free bleach kit! The dentist also just a few months ago said he didn't want to work on my front teeth when I told him about my previous dentist talking about veneers. Then she said it would be ideal for me to have braces! Again, the opposite of what her boss said. I had actually gotten orthodontic consultations anyways even after my dentist said I shouldn't have it, and found out he was right, my orthodontic problems aren't very fixable, or I would be harmed as much as helped by a fix, so I told her that. I feel really scared, I thought my dentist was conservative but it seems the hygienist is not and their opinions are totally opposite. I was wondering if this situation sounds normal and what is going on with these two? Do you think maybe I should quit here because of course I mainly see the hygienist and just have a quick checkup with the dentist after she talks to him out of the room without me there. This is the "team lead" hygienist and last thing I heard from her is she assumes I want my future cleanings with her, don't I? So of course I felt I had to say yes.

 

[Gordon]

Sounds like that hygienist should be working on her resume...

 

[NervousUSA]

@Gordon Thanks Gordon, so you think it is just incompetence then? I am not sure if this was dishonesty or incompetence, but had leaned towards dishonesty because all the differences of opinion with the dentist leaned towards more treatment and expense for me, or them not having to remedy my mismatched crown, and this was the team lead hygienist. Do you feel it is OK for me to continue to use this practice with this person working there as the lead hygienist?

 

[Gordon]

Honestly can't say without seeing you or hearing the hygienist's side of the story, but it sounds like a bit of arrogance on the hygienist's part along with the dentist perhaps not being assertive enough.
If you're comfortable with the rest of the practice, then I see no reason to change for that one person.

 

[NervousUSA]

Thanks so much Gordon! I think you are right about the dynamic there, the other side of it seems to be maximum delegation to hygienists at this practice, but it makes me feel a lot better you don't think it's dangerous enough that I should get out now. As always I am so grateful for your advice and help, it really makes all the difference for me! Thanks again for all you do!