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Dentist for 1st time in 17 years...tomorrow. So scared.



Junior member
Apr 14, 2009
Hi everyone,

I posted once on here last year, then ran away and never came back. After a year or so in further denial of my tooth problems, my Mum decided it was time to find me a dentist...

I'm 24, living in Wales but getting treated in England (where my parents live.) When I was 7 I went to see a lady dentist who treated me - a small, scared little girl - with nothing short of cruelty. I have never been back to the dentist, and now have cavities in both my front teeth, two missing molars, and other problems.

Today, I finally went to a dentist - the one my mum found. It was just a 15 minute consultation, and contrary to what I believed he told me my front teeth should be able to be saved. However, he also had to wait through me having a panic attack, and i was squirming when he so much as touched my lips. He was much gentler and kinder than I expected, but because I need driling and filling in the front teeth, he's referred me to a different nhs practice because he believes I'll need sedation and so do I. He understood that I'll panic and struggle, he expected me to sprint down the stairs when I popped to the loo at the beginning of the appointment. I've said fo ages I'd rather be sedated and not know what's going on.

Then hisreceptionist rang the other place - and they'd had a cancellation. So I have to go and be sedated and drilled tomorrow, and I am so scared I feel like I'm actually going to die while I'm there. I have no idea what to expect - how long will it take? Will the dentist drill and fill my teeth hen and there? How much will it hurt? How long will it be before I can eat again?

I was surprisingly calm earlier, but now fear has taken over and I keep crying. I'm scared the sedation will go wrong and kill me, or that the dentist will drill away my tooth and then decide they can't save them after all and I'll end up with no teeth. I feel like I deserve whatever happens to me for leaving it so long, but no-one else deserves their dental problems - just me, for being such a coward. I suffer from clinical depression and panic attacks, and was so convinced I'll somehow drop dead tomorrow I actually told both my mum and my fiance about it.

I've just spent about 2 hours reading stuff on this forum to try and make me feel better, but am still really scared. Any answers to the above hysterical questions would be much appreciated, as would any words from anyone.


PS logging off now, appointment at 3.30 tomorrow, so will be on here before I go. Please, someone help me?
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You will be fine - if they actually sedate you and you agree (you have control here) then you can expect that a reasonable amount of treatment will be done. It may just be that you are going for a consultation to discuss the work since the 'sedating dentist' hasn't seen your mouth before. Why not get your mother to phone and check it could save you the anxiety of not knowing - they will know how long the appt actually is...they need a reasonable slot for a sedation appointment.
Good luck and congratulations for facing your fears

Stop blaming yourself...'tis nasty dentist who treated you cruelly at age 7 who is really to blame here.
you will be fine!!!!!

it is the fear of the unknown that makes us worse - i know it did with me!!!!!

YOu did really well with you first appointmen and the dentist you saw seems lovely!!!!!

I had iv sedation for 6 fillings and 2 teeth out recently and it was the best thing i ever did

once the iv is in place you will be so relaxed and chilled that the dentist will be able to carry out the work required!!!!!

obviously like me you will be really nervous going in to your appointment
but i fgot through the waiting part by saying to myself that i did not want the terrible pain of another abcess and although shaking i walked into that appointment!!!!! and you will too as you have passed the first big test of going to the first appointment

also remember that dentistry has come on leaps and bounds since you were a child and that the dentist doing the iv and work will know you are extremely nervous.. and is there to help u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and hopefully be like me and come out your appointment talking 19 to the dozen because you will be so prioud of yourself

when you get home you will be tired - so go have a lie down but at some point let us know how you get on

best of luck
also like you i suffer from anxiety and depression but actuallyb felt my confidence boosted by going throgh with my appointments

you feel like you have really acheived something

oh and you wont die, I am here to tell the tale and so are many more who have been sedated
but can appreciate the feeling because like you i had mnany fears but like you will i came through the other side

and i totally agree with brit its not you to blame but that bad dentist you had as a kd!!!!

But times have changed in dentistry for the better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hi LadyShade,

First of all, great job getting through that first appointment! :jump:

You'll do totally fine tomorrow, here's hoping for a very fast and productive appointment!

Let us know how it goes...

Take care,
Hi all

Firstly, thanks for your support, it really helps to know I'm not the only phobic around.

So, as Brit suggested, the appointment today was a consltation rather than a treatment - and it was not good. Yesterday, Nice Dentist said he'd like to try drilling and filling on my front teeth. Today, lady dentist had a shifty in my mouth and announced that I need a lot of work done and she'd take out quite a few teeth, then "see what we can do with what's left". Despite my confessing to her that I have very low self-esteem, she made me feel like the same small, scared kid I was 17 years ago, basically telling me that the state of my teeth is my own fault (like I don't know that already!) and being very gung-ho about tooth removal, which Nice Dentist treats as the absolute last resort.

If I go to the lady dentist, I get sedation, but I also get someone I don't trust. With nice dentist, I have to be with it mentally, but I get to see someone who actually seems to give a crap about helping me, not just getting it done. Yesterday, Nice Dentist told me some of my teeth are alright. Today, lady dentist didn't mention the ok ones, just telling me about 6 times that I need a lot done and that I have to be "in the real world" about it, before reiterating her desire to remove teeth. She also said that she'd do an x ray, then tell me what needs doing and I can either let her do it her way or say no. And leave.

So I decided trust beats drugs. I've been on anti-anxiety medication before so I'm going to my GP to see what they can give me. I'll take my MP3 player and when he turns on the tools, I'll turn Pearl Jam up LOUD. I'm also going to try to meditate my way through it - I had a phobia of needles that I cured myself of using meditation - it wasn't as bad as the dental phobia but it gave me panic attacks. Nice Dentist wants to save my teeth, so for the first time in my entire 24 years and 11 months, I am going to try to trust a dentist. I'm going to ring his practice tomorrow. Am :scared: but if I don't do this I'm going to lose my teeth. I'm getting married in 2012, and I'd like to be able to smile in my wedding photos.
Feel :cry: at the moment, but every time I feel fear, I remember the alternitive to trusting Nice Dentist and remind myself one day I might have nice teeth.


Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
But today is a gift...
..........That is why it is called the present.
Well if you can manage it awake...I would suggest you go for it since it solves the problem long-term as it means you can go back for regular check-ups without any difficulty. NHS sedation referrals do seem to be a bit gung-ho based on posts on here...and tend to be more extraction-based than restoration-based which is the impression she gave you but it is possible to do restorative under sedation whereas it is not so easy with GA.

Trust is everything...I just hope 'nice dentist' is still willing to play ball. :grouphug:
:jump: Congrats for going.
If you have found a dentist that you trust then you are doing the right thing.
I was in a similiar situation a few months back, and the dentist I went to was great, his manner, the way he spoke, how positive he was, all helped me to build up a trust in him and what he was saying. I think if you dont trust the person who is going to work in your mouth then it will be very difficult.
It sounds like this dentist you are going to return to is understanding and caring and I am sure he will listen to you and do whatever he can to help you and carry out your treatment in the best manner for you.
You are very strong and you should be so pleased at how far you have come already.