Jim lg,
"So now I sit on the chair with my feet on the ground until we get to know one another. Works pretty well, and sends the signal that I'm submitting to treatment when I'm ready, not on their schedule. "
First off,, great for you!! Love this.. setting your boundaries and showing telling your needs both verbally and non verbally. I do hate the impersonal feeling or them not looking you in the eye talking to you but immediately putting you back, and then some impersonal person with white coat who hasn't or barely introduced themselves, going past your boundaries right off , sort of autopilot.. Really doesn't do much for trust.
I have found too, that a dentist looking at me in eyes and shaking hand(might not be possible Covid era here).. but in a friendly approachable manner really asking how are you and how can they help you etc,, and answering questions before they come in ans start to put you back , maybe a joke or two would be nice too if that is their personality it does help. It just makes you feel less like some number .. and more like a person when they take the time to see you as a person and not just a body they put the chair back and work on the teeth.
My current dentist does have a white coat and so many of the ones before didn't . I just think he is more traditional in some ways like this. but at the same time he is really "cool" I guess I would say and I imagine if I asked if he took it off to help my anxiety he may most likely do it to help me. I think how he responded to my concern would be huge.. even if he took it serious but was somehow practice wise unable to , his concern would show and make me less anxious of the coat.
"On the forms they asked me to fill out before hand, on question was "Is there anything else about having dental treatment that you'd like us to know" Would asking that the doctor not wear a white coat be an appropriate request? "
I do think this is a good sign they might be a practice sensitive to pt requests and concerns, they ask about this ahead of time on the form . I'd be encouraged with that being one of the questions.