Dentistry dominates my thoughts 24/7, even though I dont go. Total depression

[Stewart]

Hello Everyone

I appreciate this is going to sound strange, so bear with me please.

Unpleasant thoughts about dentistry are getting so strong for me, that my previous tactics of saying to hell with it and just ignoring the dentist arent working. I think i must think about injections at least 100 times a day if not more, and i go light headed to the point of fainting at least 10 times a day because of it many times. Even writing this is a struggle.

Because of dentistry, im starting to develop serious problems that i cant stop now. Ive been struggling with motor skills, and ive been with two sports psychologists who both think i am developing focal dystonia, namely i cant perform motor skills that i used to.

I mostly pull out of social activities because my mind is fixated on dentistry and it wont go away now. Its starting to seriously affect my life. I cant do certain activites. Im worried doing activities like driving my car or using machinery in case i think about dentistry and go light headed. I hear drilling sounds in my head all day, I hear sounds people make when in discomfort all day.

I dont even know what I can do. I live every day in fear that I need to go to the dentist and something will be wrong. it HAS to be. Even if its 20 years away, im now living, one day at a time, waiting for that day in however long where theyll have to do something to me.

My escape used to be just dont care.

Then i did care and tried to use forums for support.

I tried desensitizing myself by watching dentistry and reading about dentistry, often for hour after hour, to try and normalise it.

Ive visited psychologists, but it hasnt helped.

Ive destroyed my once happy, peaceful, successful life. Its ebbing away day by day. I got promoted at work and already feel like that is ruined.

My life is ruined because no matter what i do in life, i WILL end up at a dentist eventually. I have no choice. I cant get away with it. I cant choose not to go or else ill just be in too much pain to live at some point.

Its a death sentence.

For some reason, it appears to me as if every single post on this forum is written from the point of view of....if i go to the dentist, itll set my life free and ill become really happy and the more i go the more ill like it until there is no phobia.

Just the thought of it ruins my life. I dont know what to do. My life's gone basically, I cant be happy. The EXISTENCE of dentistry takes away all my happiness on earth.

Im so lost, and I know theres nothing anyone can do

 

[Stewart]

Im booking my next appointment when i finish work today. I dont want to go but I dont know what else you can do.

 

[Completewreck47]

@Stewart this is quite literally how I am thinking about the dentist hundreds of times a day my life is dominated by them. I’m only 22 and for my entire life I have been completely phobic to the point of never going. I cancel things I don’t go out very much in fear and it’s an inevitable impending doom I feel. I have just started my journey have had 0 work completed and am still 1000% petrified. But I’m routing for you too. You deserve to live without theese thoughts controlling your life.

 

[Sapphire]

Hello Stewart,
This situation must be so debilitating for you. Have you tried talking to a CBT therapist? Some dentists recommend you find one, so that you can talk to someone not even from the dentistry field at all. And you don't have to walk into a dental practice.

 

[Lindylou1601]

@Stewart you are not alone with this horrendous fear. I have had it for 50 years since I was 19. I had a terrible experience that traumatised me for years. For years afterwards I went to the dentist religiously every 6 months out of fear of losing my teeth. I had a wonderful dentist back then. After he passed away all my unbearable fears returned. I changed dentists and went fairly regularly but I was much younger back then. Over the past 20 or so years my anxiety has got much worse. I had to make an urgent appointment for a cracked tooth under a crown on Wednesday and for the 2 days before I was ill. I couldn't eat. I wanted to sleep constantly but when I did I kept waking up with anxiety and terror. I spent 2 days scouring the Internet about teeth and dentistry. I was on it all day and most of the night.

I had my appointment today and have just returned. I have to have surgery to remove the broken tooth and I'm terrified. I eventually had to contact this forum again and hopefully someone will alleviate my worries over the surgery.

I see you are making an appointment today. That is the first step. I kept postponing my appointment. I did it 3 times but in the end I had no option but to go. Now I have to wait a month for the treatment. It's going to be a nightmare few weeks. I wanted it done immediately to get it over with but it couldn't be done. The waiting will be horrible and I know near the day I will start to be ill again.

I am so sick of this fear. It has dominated my life for 50 years and I would give anything to be free of it. There are so many people like us around. It is a very common fear.

I hope you make the appointment and I send you all my support at this time. Please let us know how you get on. You are definitely not alone with this fear.

All the best

Lindsey

 

[Stewart]

@Lindylou1601

I have to be honest with you.....theres like 0% of me that gives an ounce of a shit about "beating" my phobia.

I never made that appointment, i put it off for maybe the 3rd or 4th time, and honestly, if it makes me a weedy little phobic then so be it. Im one million percent happier as that weedy little phobic who isnt going to go to a dentist until its the only alternative.

I cant even begin to tell you how anxious, stressed, sick i feel thinking about dentistry.

And the answer to all this, at least for me i cant speak for everyone, is not in making 50 trips to the dentist in the blind hope my thoughts will be reversed.

The answer is getting on with my f**king life and the things i do like, rather than some made up never ending 6 month at a time fear cycle over nothing induced by making these dental appointments and all the crap that comes with it.

My lived experience is nothing like the stuff i read on here, and im totally fine with it.

 

[Lindylou1601]

I can so relate to your words. I postponed my checkup 3 times but in the end I had no option but to go. A crowned molar had cracked badly but fortunately the tooth was dead so I'm not having pain. Oh boy the stress leading up to my appointment was crazy and I felt out of control. Tears, panic, anxiety and every other emotion took over. When I walked into the surgery and explained my situation I began to cry and panic. The dentist took an xray and told me the tooth will have to be surgically extracted and I have to wait a minimum of 4 weeks to have it out privately. The NHS wait would have been at least 2 months. There is no way I can wait 2 months. I will be climbing the walls so I opted for the private option. One thing my dentist did say was if I go to the NHS I can have sedation. So many of us have this fear. There are loads of us. My friend has to be sedated and she finds it OK. Please think about it Stewart. Apparently it is so calming some people fall asleep. I'm just having a local but I'm back to trawling the Internet again to find out every detail of the procedure.

Does your dentist understand you fears? Try explaining your fears to them. I did. My dentist said it's quite common. I'm now worried sick about my temporary filling falling out and getting an infection because she said it might happen. I'm eating soft foods and being scrupulous with cleaning.

Good luck Stewart with this horrible phobia. One thing I will say is however scared I get before an appointment it's never as bad as I anticipated.