M
MGY
Junior member
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2014
- Messages
- 5
Hi all, I stumbled upon this forum and it seems like a very supportive, friendly place so I decided to post. I wasn't sure whether to post this in the support form or this one as I'm partly looking for some support/advice from those with anxiety but also have some specific dental questions in relation to that so apologies if I chose the wrong place.
Where do I start? I've suffered with depression since the age of 14 (I'm 26 now) and this has caused a serious lack of motivation when it comes to looking after myself. In particular, looking after my teeth. I have never been good at it. I'm sure I can't blame it all on depression, i'll hold my hands up to laziness and bad habits too. I have also suffered with OCD since I was a child. For most of my teens and early 20s I didn't brush properly (when I brushed at all) and unfortunately had a bit of a hack dentist who never even commented on the fact my gums were receding or that I had cavities. I found a new dentist 4 years ago who immediately gave me a rightly deserved lecture and I explained my issues with depression and he was as understanding as he could be. I needed 9 fillings, some very deep and over the years a couple of those teeth have needed additional fillings. One top tooth right at the back is almost all filling at this stage. I was terrified at that point because up until then I had never really given my teeth a thought as I had not really had pain until four years ago when I suddenly began to get pain after eating sweet things (fillings sorted that out). I was terrified I was going to lose my teeth. I remember sobbing and admitting to my poor new dentist that my gums had been bleeding after brushing for years and I just ignored it, being too scared to deal with it. He told me that while I had gum disease, which had caused some pretty bad gum recession, if I began to take care of them now I could halt it in it's tracks and at least stop it from getting worse and no, I would not lose my teeth.
At this point, my OCD took over and cleaning my teeth became an obsession for about a year. I would brush twice, sometimes three times a day. It would take me a good 10-15 minutes because I would brush very very slowly and gently, being sure to brush each tooth and very gently around each gum line. I would floss, use mouth wash and rinse after smoking (Yes on top of all this, I smoke heavily. Well done, me.) My gums stopped bleeding after brushing and while my sensitivity increased and experienced a few twinges here and there, my dentist felt there was definitely an improvement or perhaps more accurately, it was being managed effectively.
But then depression set in once more and it all went out the window. Over the last few years this has come and gone in cycles of brushing and then going for days without brushing. When at my lowest, I would binge eat chocolate and drink coke and all the things that are awful to leave in your mouth for such a long time. About 6 months ago, a new depression hit and was very severe and once again I began neglecting my teeth. Unfortunately, this depression has still not quite lifted and my anxiety is beginning to take over. Over the last couple of weeks I've really tried to get back into the routine of brushing & flossing but it's been very difficult, more difficult than before but it's a vicious cycle, the less I brush, the more I hate myself for not brushing and for the way my teeth look and the more I panic when I feel a twinge...
I'm terrified i've messed up big time and am now going to lose my teeth. I'm obsessing about it once more but instead of the at least productive obsession of before, I'm now finding myself awake at 4am examining my teeth in the mirror, looking at the dark brown intrinsic stains around my gum line, where my gums have receded so badly that on one tooth I can see the orange part right at the top. The white marks around the gum line. The brown between my teeth. I panic when the gum is sore if I brush gently. I notice the lack of enamel on my teeth and feel sick whenever I feel that twinge of sensitivity. I feel sick when I look at the dull yellowy-grey colour of my teeth and am scared to smile (Oh and by the way, I went ahead and picked a job where having bad teeth stops me getting work so i'm beating myself up for that, too). I keep trying to remind myself when I feel twinges of what my dentist told me before, that brushing properly will remove the food debris and plaque and leave certain areas exposed to temperature etc and not to panic unless I get a proper tooth ache or severe twinges/sharp pains. Even as i'm writing this i'm feeling nauseated because one of my bottom teeth is aching/twinging and about a year and a half ago I made an emergency appointment with the dentist because I'd felt this sudden deep deep twinge that terrified me that wasn't triggered by anything (the pain disappeared almost immediately and he said not to worry unless it happens again which it didn't) but now i'm scared that tooth is going to need to come out or something. My two top back teeth have been giving me a little grief for a while with dull aching (I have seen my dentist about this, had an x-ray and pulp test and it was ok) but I doubt myself with those particular teeth as I have sinus issues which often cause a similar feeling. However these two teeth have recently become more sensitive - one in particular if a small piece of food gets stuck round the back is very sensitive - although the pain is not overly sharp and does not last very long. This tooth is the one that is now almost all filling - the other day when I did brush I spat out tiny bits of metal from that tooth the same way you do when you have just had a filling.
Basically, all of my teeth are sensitive to some degree - I notice it at night if trying to sleep with my mouth open (cold air) and I am having constant weird twinges all over the shop which is always worse after brushing. And of course the more I obsess over it the more I then start to imagine twinges.
I'm terrified about going back to the dentist because I don't think I can handle seeing the disappointment in his eyes because i've screwed up yet again. I'm scared of what will be wrong. I'm scared i'll have to have teeth out. I'm scared i'm going to lose them all.
I'm trying to help myself and think of ways to help me get back into a routine - i've tried a lot of things over the years; setting the same time aside each day to do it, listening to music/watching tv etc But I was wondering if anyone has any other tips? I just want to be a normal human being and brush my teeth like everyone else. It seems like everyone else has beautiful teeth no matter what they eat or drink or whether they smoke and I find myself wondering what is wrong with me that I just can't do this insanely simple, basic thing for myself (especially when I actually want to do it!). I have also thought that it might be an idea to increase the amount of times I see the hygienist a year (usually twice) but I don't know if that's a good idea or how often I should go? Or if it will even help now?
I also wanted to ask what the signs are that something is seriously wrong because right now i seem to be panicking at every single sensation in my mouth and that in itself is making me ill. How do I know if gum disease and decay has progressed to the point that it's too late to stop it getting worse (I know I can't reverse the damage that has already been done). Am I going to lose my teeth? I have noticed this past week (which thankfully has been a better week in terms of brushing) that my gums are not bleeding now but they do if I neglect my teeth again for a while. I think I remember my dentist telling me that very progressed gum disease means your gums eventually stop bleeding so how do I know when they are getting better and when they are getting worse?! Should I be worrying about these tiny twinges here and there or given the circumstances is it just from sensitivity or my gums reacting to being looked after for once?
I also want to ask about flossing. Some of my teeth, particularly at the back are very very close together and I have a hard time flossing (when I do). Even my dentist and the hygienist said they could not get between those teeth.
Thanks
Where do I start? I've suffered with depression since the age of 14 (I'm 26 now) and this has caused a serious lack of motivation when it comes to looking after myself. In particular, looking after my teeth. I have never been good at it. I'm sure I can't blame it all on depression, i'll hold my hands up to laziness and bad habits too. I have also suffered with OCD since I was a child. For most of my teens and early 20s I didn't brush properly (when I brushed at all) and unfortunately had a bit of a hack dentist who never even commented on the fact my gums were receding or that I had cavities. I found a new dentist 4 years ago who immediately gave me a rightly deserved lecture and I explained my issues with depression and he was as understanding as he could be. I needed 9 fillings, some very deep and over the years a couple of those teeth have needed additional fillings. One top tooth right at the back is almost all filling at this stage. I was terrified at that point because up until then I had never really given my teeth a thought as I had not really had pain until four years ago when I suddenly began to get pain after eating sweet things (fillings sorted that out). I was terrified I was going to lose my teeth. I remember sobbing and admitting to my poor new dentist that my gums had been bleeding after brushing for years and I just ignored it, being too scared to deal with it. He told me that while I had gum disease, which had caused some pretty bad gum recession, if I began to take care of them now I could halt it in it's tracks and at least stop it from getting worse and no, I would not lose my teeth.
At this point, my OCD took over and cleaning my teeth became an obsession for about a year. I would brush twice, sometimes three times a day. It would take me a good 10-15 minutes because I would brush very very slowly and gently, being sure to brush each tooth and very gently around each gum line. I would floss, use mouth wash and rinse after smoking (Yes on top of all this, I smoke heavily. Well done, me.) My gums stopped bleeding after brushing and while my sensitivity increased and experienced a few twinges here and there, my dentist felt there was definitely an improvement or perhaps more accurately, it was being managed effectively.
But then depression set in once more and it all went out the window. Over the last few years this has come and gone in cycles of brushing and then going for days without brushing. When at my lowest, I would binge eat chocolate and drink coke and all the things that are awful to leave in your mouth for such a long time. About 6 months ago, a new depression hit and was very severe and once again I began neglecting my teeth. Unfortunately, this depression has still not quite lifted and my anxiety is beginning to take over. Over the last couple of weeks I've really tried to get back into the routine of brushing & flossing but it's been very difficult, more difficult than before but it's a vicious cycle, the less I brush, the more I hate myself for not brushing and for the way my teeth look and the more I panic when I feel a twinge...
I'm terrified i've messed up big time and am now going to lose my teeth. I'm obsessing about it once more but instead of the at least productive obsession of before, I'm now finding myself awake at 4am examining my teeth in the mirror, looking at the dark brown intrinsic stains around my gum line, where my gums have receded so badly that on one tooth I can see the orange part right at the top. The white marks around the gum line. The brown between my teeth. I panic when the gum is sore if I brush gently. I notice the lack of enamel on my teeth and feel sick whenever I feel that twinge of sensitivity. I feel sick when I look at the dull yellowy-grey colour of my teeth and am scared to smile (Oh and by the way, I went ahead and picked a job where having bad teeth stops me getting work so i'm beating myself up for that, too). I keep trying to remind myself when I feel twinges of what my dentist told me before, that brushing properly will remove the food debris and plaque and leave certain areas exposed to temperature etc and not to panic unless I get a proper tooth ache or severe twinges/sharp pains. Even as i'm writing this i'm feeling nauseated because one of my bottom teeth is aching/twinging and about a year and a half ago I made an emergency appointment with the dentist because I'd felt this sudden deep deep twinge that terrified me that wasn't triggered by anything (the pain disappeared almost immediately and he said not to worry unless it happens again which it didn't) but now i'm scared that tooth is going to need to come out or something. My two top back teeth have been giving me a little grief for a while with dull aching (I have seen my dentist about this, had an x-ray and pulp test and it was ok) but I doubt myself with those particular teeth as I have sinus issues which often cause a similar feeling. However these two teeth have recently become more sensitive - one in particular if a small piece of food gets stuck round the back is very sensitive - although the pain is not overly sharp and does not last very long. This tooth is the one that is now almost all filling - the other day when I did brush I spat out tiny bits of metal from that tooth the same way you do when you have just had a filling.
Basically, all of my teeth are sensitive to some degree - I notice it at night if trying to sleep with my mouth open (cold air) and I am having constant weird twinges all over the shop which is always worse after brushing. And of course the more I obsess over it the more I then start to imagine twinges.
I'm terrified about going back to the dentist because I don't think I can handle seeing the disappointment in his eyes because i've screwed up yet again. I'm scared of what will be wrong. I'm scared i'll have to have teeth out. I'm scared i'm going to lose them all.
I'm trying to help myself and think of ways to help me get back into a routine - i've tried a lot of things over the years; setting the same time aside each day to do it, listening to music/watching tv etc But I was wondering if anyone has any other tips? I just want to be a normal human being and brush my teeth like everyone else. It seems like everyone else has beautiful teeth no matter what they eat or drink or whether they smoke and I find myself wondering what is wrong with me that I just can't do this insanely simple, basic thing for myself (especially when I actually want to do it!). I have also thought that it might be an idea to increase the amount of times I see the hygienist a year (usually twice) but I don't know if that's a good idea or how often I should go? Or if it will even help now?
I also wanted to ask what the signs are that something is seriously wrong because right now i seem to be panicking at every single sensation in my mouth and that in itself is making me ill. How do I know if gum disease and decay has progressed to the point that it's too late to stop it getting worse (I know I can't reverse the damage that has already been done). Am I going to lose my teeth? I have noticed this past week (which thankfully has been a better week in terms of brushing) that my gums are not bleeding now but they do if I neglect my teeth again for a while. I think I remember my dentist telling me that very progressed gum disease means your gums eventually stop bleeding so how do I know when they are getting better and when they are getting worse?! Should I be worrying about these tiny twinges here and there or given the circumstances is it just from sensitivity or my gums reacting to being looked after for once?
I also want to ask about flossing. Some of my teeth, particularly at the back are very very close together and I have a hard time flossing (when I do). Even my dentist and the hygienist said they could not get between those teeth.
Thanks
