Hi De,
My impression of NHS dentists is that they would like to do their best but the system doesn't allow them the time. I would like to believe that dental students are being taught how to manage patients during their training and to recognise and at least try to help patients that present with anxieties bout dental care, although there must be a tendency to steer way from patients that are time consuming!
It is a mine field out there. Recognising the caring, compassionate, sincere dentist fairly early on in the consultation is key, NHS or private. Iv'e met so many trying to find the right one for me, but these qualities do stand out.