• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

Doing this for my daughter.

T

TheWolfess

Member
Joined
Mar 21, 2021
Messages
27
Location
Poland
Hi everyone,
I just stumbled across the forum yesterday and today I found the courage to post. I hope my story will also help someone else fight with their anxiety.
But first a little backstory.
I always had weak teeth - it's genetic in my mother's family - and also, rarely followed proper dental hygiene because of some mental issues I had as a teenager. But I did take care of my teeth enough for them to be mostly okay. By the time I was 14 I had to have root canal in my lower back molar. And this is the start of my phobia. The dentist that did this drilled into my tooth, put some medication in to kill it, and told me to go home and go back in a week or so. I was still on my way home, when the pain hit (despite still feeling numbness in my cheek). It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life before or after (and I've had a broken leg as well as given birth). It was excruciating, drilling into my head, continuous torture. No amount of pain killers helped (and my parents wouldn't let me take a lot) and I could just sit on my bed with and ice-pack pressed on my cheek and sob, and cry. The pain lasted for three days, and honestly at the end I was so exhausted I was coming in and out of consciousness. Nevertheless my parents said it's normal, the tooth is dying and it has to hurt and did nothing, just let me stay home for the time. It gave me such mental scarring that I didn't go back to this dentist again. Fortunately a month or two later my aunt (my fathers cousin) started her dentist practice. She finished the root canal. This time it didn't hurt so much but was still painfull, as was the procedure itself because apparently I am resistant to normal numbing.
Since then I started missing my dentist appointments, also the fact that we moved to a different state than my aunt lives and has her practice didn't help.
Fast forward two years, and one of my teeth got so bad that I had to have it extracted. Again painful, but honestly not as bad as the root canal. Since then I went to the dentist very rarely, and as I went to college my dental care routine became nonexistent. Right after college I got pregnant, and then I did some minor work on some of the teeth but nothing major. And then, it took two more years of caring for a baby to finally make me realize that if I won't do something about my teeth - they could get so infected I could even die and I now had a daughter to look after and I didn't want to dissapear from her life over something as 'stupid' as teeth. So, in 2018 I went and got two of my teeth removed and even though the pain was there, the judgment from the oral surgeon was way worse. I went to the appointment with my mother who had to have one of her front teeth removed. And pulling mine, he commented on how I was an awful person to let my teeth get so bad so early in my life. That my mother was in her fifties and I had almost as bad teeth as her despite being half that age. And so on and so on. Needles to say, I haven't been back there ever again.

Fast forward to now. I finally gathered the courage to again start doing something about my teeth and this time see it through. I found one of the best dentists in the country when it comes to dentophobia and just had the first appointment last Friday. He was nice and understanding, I didn't even have to open my mouth - we talked about my teeth looking at the scan he took of my mouth on the computer. He never said anything dismissive, commented on how he worked with many dentophobiacs and he knows the fear is normal.
So, I'm booked for next Friday for cleaning and taking care of minor cavities. And he suggested having my teeth pulled under GA. I have to have six of them pulled (all wisdom teeth and two molars) and he could place two implants for the molars in the same surgery which would make recovery much quicker and easier.
Late on Friday I got an e-mail with the proposed treatment plan and... It's a lot of money. I mean, yes my husband is able to take a loan this size but we'll be paying it back for 5-6 years. But... I suppose it's worth it.
I do want to start taking care of my teeth again, to take care of any problems as soon as they appear instead of waiting until it's so bad I have to have the tooth removed. So I suppose it's going to serve me for a lifetime, or at least much longer than I'll be paying off the loan.
So now I'm looking for techniques to get through next Friday appointment, as the noise of the drill is a pretty major trigger for me - my teeth start hurting as soon as I hear it.
 
Last edited:
Okay, I had the cleaning & cavities appointment today. I was really, really nervous. The cleaning was not really pleasant, but not so painful for me to ask for a numbing gel (although the hygienist said it was an option if I felt really bad). She said I have some pretty serious gum inflammation, and said that I have to redo the cleaning in two weeks. Also have me some anti bacterial / antiseptic mouthwash and instructed me on how I should brush my teeth from now on. She said some thing about how it is a pity that my teeth are so bad at such a young age, but also said that if I stick through with the treatment then I'm going to have very pretty teeth. And that I was an amazing patient.
Then I had like 10 minutes break and the cavity visit. This scared me the most, as in the past there was always a point where it started to hurt but the dentist continues anyway. So I sit on the chair, they give me numbing injection, then I wait. I a couple of minutes they start and yes, I hear the drill and I feel slight pressure but.... Nothing else! I was so tense the whole time they drilled it, waiting for that sharp stroke of pain and then they started filling the hole and the pain never came! It was an exhilarating experience. I almost wanted to tell them to do more, cause it was so easy!

So, I'm scheduled for next session in a week. Not really sure what we're going to work on next, since I have a lot of old fillings in my front teeth that need to be replaced since they are dark, and looking almost like caries which isn't nice to look at.
On 15th of April I have my second cleaning appointment, so I have to work on my dental care routine really good to make it better by this time.
Do you have any tips for how to best take care of inflamed gums?
And on 20th of April I have my extraction/implantation surgery.
It would be really amazing if my teeth were all done by the 2022. I really want to smile and open my mouth proudly, and go to the dentist every 6 months for a checkup instead of every 5 years for rescuing what's left of my teeth.
 
I just felt one of the teeth designated for extraction move. Well, the part of it that still exists (as it's severely damaged and rotten). I am scheduled for extraction for 20th of April but I have an appointment this Friday to fix cavities.
It freaked me out massively! I'm not sure if I should mention this to the dentist during the appointment. I hope they won't have to pull it out even before the 20th... I wish the extraction surgery was sooner, but they are all booked before then.
I'm seriously scared of eating anything now.
 
I'm debating removing the moving part myself and then simply telling them it fell out when I was sleeping.
 
I'm debating removing the moving part myself and then simply telling them it fell out when I was sleeping.

Leave it be, just in case! But mention
it tomorrow, even if they can’t do anything they may be able to give you some advice or reassurance.

I feel you on the being scared to eat thoughts. I’ve just been eating soft, easy to eat food and just taking my time. Have you seen the soft food list?
 
Yes,
In preparation for the surgery and semi-fluid diet I will need for some time after, I bought meal replacement powder, so I can get enough calories in, and don't worry about eating out of my diet (I have to have low sugar/processed carbs) as I have insulin resistance. It just came in today, so I decided I might as well eat/drink it any time my family has something hard do chew.
With Easter coming up though I will have to be extra careful, on one hand to not eat something that would worsen my dental situation and on the other, to not offend my mum and grandma by not eating what they've prepared. Well, mum is going to be understand I hope, since she has some major dental problems herself and knows how hard it is.
 
Okay, I went and it was... Okay. I told them about the moving tooth, so they said that for now we can work on front upper teeth so they don't even have to touch that area. This time the visit was less comfortable. It took a long time and the dentist said that when he started drilling an old filling fell out so he had to do that too. It feels strange in my mouth - not so polished as the other tooth he worked on.
And I feel some pretty unpleasant paint in my upper lip - where he put the numbing injection and around that section.
I didn't sign up for another visit. All of the immediate problems (cavities) are taken care of and now I want to wait for the infected teeth to be removed before I continue with any more work.
I still need one root canal & crown on my lower premolar (which isn't an urgency since it doesn't hurt at all, it's just pretty severely chipped) and something on my upper premolar. It chipped a couple of years ago and a dentist put some filling on it but it grinded down or something so the tooth is smaller than it should be. But no pain from it, so it's nothing really urgent.
 
So it's done.
I paid the first half of the bill for the surgery I'm going to get on 20th. As the date gets nearer, I'm starting to feel a little nervous. I'm not afraid of any complications - the surgeon I'm going to did dozens of procedures like this, and it's nothing really invasive. Also not fearing post-op, I know how it is to have a tooth removed and even if the pain is bad, it's the pain of a healing wound which I can bare.
Two things I fear is:
1. Slow recovery. I managed to get the rest of the week off from work, but on Monday (so one day short of a week) after it I really need to start working. And I'm a teacher so... If the swelling is still intense, it's going to be hard to work. My only hope is that the government won't lift the restrictions and I will be still working online, that way I can take more breaks, sit instead of walking around the classroom etc.
2. Staying awake despite the anesthesia. I've heard stories. I know they are like one in a million but... If something went wrong and instead of going to sleep I would just got paralyzed and aware of everything... And they went on with the procedure not knowing I can feel it all... (Yes I know how irrational that is, but I can't help it).
 
The anesthesiologist called me just now. Because I have high blood clotting factors, they won't do GA and they're going to go with IV instead. I'm fearful, because just going to sleep seemed nicer than being awake and conscious (in part) during the whole procedure...
It's going to take 3 hours.... That's seems like a long time for being awake and trapped on a dental chair.
 
It's over! ^^ It took one and a half hours instead of 3. And damn, everyone was right - I don't remember A THING! :)
I'm so happy I did it a nd it's over.
 
Okay, so now that I'm 6 teeth lighter (and two implants heavier) I need to start thinking about my other teeth. I still need some work done, - one tooth that is damaged but with a good root so it can be fixed (probably with a crown), a couple of old fillings that need replacing and a bit of caries between two top molars. I need this done in the 3-4 months before they can fix my implants so they can be properly fitted.

I'm just wondering how much after the extraction surgery I should wait before going to the next appointment? I'm proud of myself, and if how much I have done. I just don't want to rest on my laurels and break the good streak.
 
Congratulations on your successful appointments! What does your dentist say about how soon you can do your next appointments? I’m guessing that as long as you’re healing properly & you feel comfortable continuing forward with your treatments then, by all means, go for it. I know what you mean about wanting to continue on with a good streak. I felt the same way! ?
 
So I'm going to call them on Monday and ask, but it's still quite hard and painful for me to open my mouth very wide so I guess it has to wait until I'm able to open my mouth so that they can get inside it.
 
So, it's been a really long time since I've posted anything. My wounds healed nicely, and for some time I had a break in appointments. Unfortunately when I went two weeks ago it turned out I have to have at least two root canals. Which is awful, mainly because the visits for the minor things like cavities drained my finances. And I still have to save some money for when I fix crowns on implants in the summer.
So I made a tough decision to wait with root canals until September (mainly because I don't work in the summer so I don't get paid). I know it's not the best option, and I know I could loose the teeth that need root canals done, but I cannot take out any more loans, I don't have anyone to borrow money from and one root canal could cost as much as half my usual monthly salary in my city.
Also, I'm telling myself that last 3 months I did more to fix my teeth than 10 years before. So if I have to wait two more months, then so be it.
 
Back
Top