• Dental Phobia Support

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Don't know what I am doing....

N

Nomoreoptions

Junior member
Joined
Sep 17, 2018
Messages
1
Location
Utah
Of course I know why I am on here but don't know what I am doing. I have been reading the threads and this is great. I didn't know there was something like this out there. So thank you to everyone for supporting each other, we need more of that in this world.
I am 33yrs old and happily married. I have fought with tooth problems since a young age. Runs in the family. But in reality,I have taken poor care of myself for so long that my teeth issues are FAR beyond a discussion or a few visits. In the past 8 years I have had so many random things happen to break teeth (5 seperate incidents, 5 teeth never to return) and then through my depression and everything I allowed for essentially the rest of my teeth to decay to where I virtually have none, the few left are in awful shape. Again, with my history of everything I have now realized I have told no one the truth or even clued a soul in on my condition at all...... including my wife of almost 8yr... I don't know how I have hidden it so well.... but I see how much it has effected me in everything in my life. I feel like I am going to lose my life to this.... or my marriage.. she is the most loving and caring person in this world. But this is gross... I didn't even know until now that I haven't kissed my wife more than a long peck since first married, I don't share food and avoid sharing drink to avoid somehow making her sick.. i don't know what it's like to smile it's been so long. I only grin making sure to not show. Now I have changed myself, how I act, the positions I apply for, basically everything of me to the point I have no clue who I am. I have made a lot of mistakes in this life and been a burden But this just takes it. I just don't know what to do with it. I have definitely made myself feel shame before too many times to count.. this is definitely by far the most trapped I have ever made myself feel.. such a simple thing.. start somewhere.. I've hidden it too well for too long.. it's becoming too much with the pain and all accompanying fun stuff.... My wife finally scheduled a cleaning for me. trying to do a nice thing, she has no clue how bad it really is... I already know it's beyond that cleaning appointment. Of course I will cancel and come up with an excuse as to why.. i swear this isn't me looking for pity.. it's the first time I have been honest about my condition with anyone including myself.. I hope I can see some light in this...
Thanks for letting me vent and listening..
 
Dear Nomoreoptions,

welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story with us. Rest assured that we all know a lot about shame and feeling like there is nowhere to go. You might or might not noticed that you already did some huge steps forwards: you reflected about your situation and you started to look for help (otherwise you wouldn't have made it to this page). The rest will reveal itself as you go and every single step of the journey is important and deserves it's time.

I'm glad to read that you have a loving wife who does her best to help you. I am sure she will be a big support for you along the way. The weight of your past may be huge and dealing with dental fear, especially during the initial phases can be very challenging, but you are already on your way so if you can, try to look forward and do not judge yourself for things that you cannot change. I am sure you didn't mean to harm your health or destroy your teeth and there have been a lot of things you had no control over.

So now you are here and it seems you are ready to move on. You might consider having a good chat with your wife or just start looking for a dental place you feel you might trust - whatever feels right for you is fine. There is a recommendation section for dental practices here on the forum and a lot of great advices and success stories. There are also a lot of people who will be happy to support you on your way and this place is of course also great to vent :) Give yourself a pat on the back already for having posted here and for having even started to think about changing your situation.

All the best wishes and keep us posted
 
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