Eeeek

[Eccham]

Hi yall

This is my first post and I am a big baby just looking for some encouragement. I am 21 and haven’t been to the dentist in 4 years- since before I left for college. I recently graduated and realized it has been too long since I’ve been.

Some backstory- my grandmother was my hygienist growing up, but the dentist she worked for was so mean. He was not a children’s dentist and was so rough with me. Not to mention, every time I have ever been to the dentist I have had at least 1 cavity. I take relatively good care of my teeth, but I have one every time. The staff there shamed me for being scared as a teenager and even for being afraid the last time I went at age 18. I cried and they said things like “come on now, you’re grown! It’s not that bad.” Just felt really dismissive and scary. I avoided going all throughout college because I was so afraid.

I took the first step though and booked a new patient appointment for tomorrow with a dentist in my new town that has great reviews. I am going in for a new patient exam since it has been so long. This includes exrays and an oral exam and all that jazz, but no cleaning. It may be determined that I need a deep cleaning- which is another scary thing. I know I have some cavities because I’ve been having a little pain in my back teeth and I know I need to get my wisdom teeth out. I am so stupid scared. I want to beat this fear, but I am petrified that I am going to go in and they’re going to tell me that I have to have a root canal or have teeth removed or something crazy like that. I know I am an adult and that I can be brave and do hard things, but I am so scared. I’ve cried all morning just thinking about my appointment! People also don’t understand that this is my big phobia. It seems like such a dumb one to have. Any one in a similar spot? I’ll take all the advice you got.

 

[letsconnect]

Hi Eccham , you're certainly not a big baby!

From all you've said, it sounds as if things will work out fine tomorrow . You've done your homework and picked someone with great reviews.

Two of the best tips that come up time and time again are:

1. treat tomorrow like a job interview - you're interviewing your potential dentist to see if they are the right person to be your dentist, and hopefully you'll choose to employ them. There's a lovely interview with one of the dentists on our advisory board here, with words to that effect:

An interview with Mike Gow

Dentist Mike Gow talks about his interest in helping nervous patients, the causes of dental phobia and fear, and his dental anxiety toolbox.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

2. make sure you tell the dental team and your dentist that you are nervous (or terrified!), and if possible, let them know what you are afraid of.

Well done for making the appointment - that is often the hardest part by far and all of us here can understand how much courage that must have taken you .

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow

 

[thisisme]

Hi Eccham,

I think it’s amazing you are making the decision to go back to the dentist after college. I wish I had done that. I stopped going at 14 and started going back at 31! My phobia grew more and more. It was awful. But here’s some good news! Going back was amazing. Okay, not like yay, it’s a carnival, but it was really empowering. The place you found has great reviews for a reason. A new patient exam is daunting, but I found the assistants and hygienist very patience, kind and understanding... but if you walk in there and get a bad vibe, you can leave because you’re in charge.

Try not to imagine the worst. I thought I’d need a deep cleaning, root canals, and extractions. All my teeth felt like they had some kind of pain. It was nothing like that. I had a regular cleaning, four new fillings (two deep, so they may need a root canal one day but not today!) and he redid three of my fillings. I also had just 1 wisdom tooth extracted because it came in and was badly decayed to a point it could be root canaled but why save it? All in all, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought and everyone was so nice. No shaming at all. He did give me a referral for the rest of my impacted wisdom teeth and maybe I’ll go one day, but it’s your mouth and your choice. When I first started my dental journey, I was so scared by everything I would have to do, but I realized I have a choice. Yes, absolutely listen to the professionals but also listen to your body or get second opinions if something doesn’t feel right to you.

Being in control has really helped my phobia. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Hello Echham,


to DFC! I echo all the previous advice and sentiments! We are glad you are here. You are in a good safe place to vent your dental fear and anxieties . There are many people who have been through same and similiar situations. Though each of our journeys are a little different we all support one another!

Sorry you had to go through the shame experience and harshness at your old dental office. It does seem that so many dentists now a days are really kind and compassionate and don't play the shame card with their patients ! which I know I value that in my own dentist!

Finding someone who listens and cares about your anxieties is so key to overcoming dental fear! It does seem like you did your homework. I hope your appointment goes really really well .. Trust is built over time, take one small step at a time and build that as they earn it . and if they don't and are not kind. You ARE in control and can find someone who is right.!

You are very courageous stepping out and trying again taking care of yourself !

Wishing the best!!

 

[Spider]

Oh how I understand how nervous you are... I really hope your appointment goes well. I love public online reviews- it makes it hard to be a crappy dentist these days. I had many bad childhood dental experiences and I finally found a dentist that treats me with respect despite all the "crazy" that comes along with having me as a patient Be honest about your fears and if you don't get a good feeling from them, that's okay, because you are the customer and you can take your business elsewhere!

 

[FM30992]

Hi there! Welcome! You're not a big baby! I think most of us had some terrible experiences as kids that kind of messed with our ability to trust dentists. It's common and we're here to cheer you on! Be sure to let us know how your appointment went!

 

[Eccham]

Hi everyone! Long time no post. Thank you for all your encouragement! I went and had eight cavities....yikes. I’ve put off scheduling the appointment let to get them filled because I am so afraid, but I took the step today to book the appointment. I decided to do half of them at once so that I didn’t have to keep going back. They have prescribed me a Valium to help with the nerves (lol already cried about going and it’s over a week away, so I need it for sure.) has anyone had experience with that? Did it help you? Also, I know four cavities is a LOT at once, but I think going back and back over and over would be too traumatic. I’d rather just go and get them done sooner. Any words of advice on that?

 

[thisisme]

Hi everyone! Long time no post. Thank you for all your encouragement! I went and had eight cavities....yikes. I’ve put off scheduling the appointment let to get them filled because I am so afraid, but I took the step today to book the appointment. I decided to do half of them at once so that I didn’t have to keep going back. They have prescribed me a Valium to help with the nerves (lol already cried about going and it’s over a week away, so I need it for sure.) has anyone had experience with that? Did it help you? Also, I know four cavities is a LOT at once, but I think going back and back over and over would be too traumatic. I’d rather just go and get them done sooner. Any words of advice on that?

I had four on one side filled at one time (two of those were being replaced but it’s pretty much the same process). Personally, I felt like it was too much. It wasn’t painful or uncomfortable but I went back multiple times because they didn’t feel right. He kept adjusting my bite each time and eventually refilled one of the four. It’s good now but it resulted in four appointments overall. I felt like it defeated the purpose of trying to get it done all at once and if I were to go back, I’d probably do two and two and give my mouth some time to get used to the new fillings. Everyone is different, though! I’m very sensitive to changes in my mouth. Whatever you decide, you’ll do great. The cavity filling process isn’t bad at all. I definitely now prefer numbing shots over bloodwork or vaccines.