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Embaressed

S

Shulou

Junior member
Joined
Apr 27, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Woking
Hey, so I had one of my teeth pulled last Friday as it had been causing me alot of pain and an infection had started. I was so scared and on my own but I have to admit the dentist and nurse were very good to me. I can still feel the pressure feeling now but it did kinda hurt too when they were doing it. So I was grabbing the nurses hands and my feet were nearly in the air. I was also kind of screaming but in a mumbled way and when it came out I just cried and cried. Now I just feel all embaressed about the whole thing and I have to see the dentist again on Friday for a filling on the other side.
 
Hi! :XXLhug:
Please don’t feel embarrassed about your reaction. You were scared and in pain! Any human might react that way and I am certain that they’ve seen it many times before. I often feel embarrassed after I have a fear reaction but my dentist never speaks about it or mentions it the next time I see her...we just carry on as if nothing ever happened. Every appointment is a bit like a clean slate/fresh start experience...sometimes it goes better...sometimes it goes worse.. but we always work through it together. You say that the dentist and nurse were good to you...did they respond appropriately to you when you were yelling by stopping to make sure that you were as comfortable as possible? If I was yelling due to pain, fear, or otherwise my dentist would never proceed until I was calm, comfortable, and composed. I also have a stop signal established with her so things never escalate to that level. I know some teeth are difficult to numb if infection is present and sometimes, patients would rather just get the tooth out and get it over with versus stopping and coming back another time. However, under some circumstances, it is less stressful to come back and try again after doing oral antibiotics or maybe even taking a sedative beforehand. Silver lining, they’ve probably now seen you at your worst and you know how they respond to that, so that’s out of the way!
 
Thankyou for making me feel a little bit better about the situation. The dentist did offer to refer me to be sedated but honestly i just wanted it out. Everytime I put my hand up she stopped apart from once which was when the tooth started cracking out. She said if she had stopped then I might not of let her carry on and she wouldn't of been able to leave it. I did have a couple of panic attacks after because of the feeling of the whole situation.
 
You’re in good company!

I have screamed, sobbed, mumbled, whines, equivocated, and even got the ambulance called. Now that was embarrassing.

I made it, and you will too.

Well done with demonstrating courage in getting the tooth out.
 
Thankyou for making me feel a little bit better about the situation. The dentist did offer to refer me to be sedated but honestly i just wanted it out. Everytime I put my hand up she stopped apart from once which was when the tooth started cracking out. She said if she had stopped then I might not of let her carry on and she wouldn't of been able to leave it. I did have a couple of panic attacks after because of the feeling of the whole situation.

Well that makes me feel better hearing that they stopped and offered other solutions. I can understand you wanting to get it taken care of in one visit, if at all possible. Not sure if you have had any experience with fillings but is not likely that the next appointment should be near as traumatic or scary. It sounds like you had a particularly difficult extraction and probably not an ideal way to break the ice with a new dentist.
 
Lots of hugs your way. You have real courage and frankly you're helping people by sharing your own story so if we have an experience like this, we won't feel alone in our reaction!
 
Hi Shulou,

I totally second kitkat about you having no reason to feel embarrassed. Dealing with people scared to the point of losing control is something that your dental team does every day and they most likely see it as a very usual thing and think nothing bad at all. When someone is scared, the only concern of the dentist and the nurse is to stabilize the situation. So the only thing they are thinking about is how to put you at ease, make sure you feel as less stressed as you can, how to distract you, handing tissues, see whether the treatment needs to get interrupted, see whether anything else is needed, watching signs and checking how you are doing. There are also a lot of other things to juggle with. The very last thing that your team has time and capacity to at that moment judgment. Being with someone who is scared and has pain or discomfort triggers compassion, empathy and willingness to help, not judgment. Also, finishing treatment and then even seeing the previously scared person coming back and feeling better triggers feelings of fulfillment and proudness which is why such a work is so rewarding.
Last but not least, the only things we can judge is something we do not understand and are not too familiar with. Any kind caring dental care professional is more than familiar with dental anxiety and all the faces it can have (there are even people who get aggressive or rude when feeling nervous), which makes judgment very unlikely.

All the best wishes, may your next appointment go great and keep us posted
 
I have cried many times, and made noises, jumped, etc. Last time I had a procedure done at the endodontist, the tech who was putting the numbing gel on prior to the shots forgot one area right above my front tooth. When the endodontist gave me a shot there, I had tears running down my face, and made a lot of noise. The tech just got a paper towel and wiped away my tears.
 
Think about it this way, at least you had a valid reason...extractions are (to most people) kind of a big deal. I’ve freaked out and panicked during cleanings over little things that I rationally know will not hurt me and I’ve jumped at something minor like air spraying when I wasn’t expecting it. After my dentist calms me down, I always end up feeling ridiculous but when you are in fight or flight mode, everything and anything can be perceived as a threat and can trigger a response. It’s just how the brain is hardwired and for good reason most of the time. You are not alone! :grouphug:
 
Also, what you experienced was both visual and within your thoughts so I'm sure it wasnt nearly as dramatic as what you perceived. Not sure if that makes sense. You are not alone and I'm sure your dentist has seen it all. I'm always apologizing and crying and shaking (even during xrays) and my dentist tells me that many of his fearful patients express their fear as anger directed towards him so my crying, shaking and constant apologizing is welcomed.
 
Hi,

Please allow me to share with you a video I made exactly about feeling embarrassed during a dental appointment. Hope it helps.
 
I just want to thank all of you for your kind words and support. I'm feeling abit better about what happened and feeling abit more confident about seeing my dentist on Friday.
 
You are already a success, so no matter what happens you are already beyond failure.

Let us know how it goes. You’ll do great.
 
Hey, so I had one of my teeth pulled last Friday as it had been causing me alot of pain and an infection had started. I was so scared and on my own but I have to admit the dentist and nurse were very good to me. I can still feel the pressure feeling now but it did kinda hurt too when they were doing it. So I was grabbing the nurses hands and my feet were nearly in the air. I was also kind of screaming but in a mumbled way and when it came out I just cried and cried. Now I just feel all embaressed about the whole thing and I have to see the dentist again on Friday for a filling on the other side.
That is courageous you set your mind to do it and followed through!!!! I have winsome teeth that need removing but I can’t bear the thought of extractions while awake so have not scheduled it. You are amazing for doing it!!
 
Shulou,

How did your filling go? Hope it went well!
 
The filling went well thanks. She was happy I came back as she thought i wasnt going to. She was very supportive throughout even though I was shaking like a leaf!
 
This is sooo good to hear!! She sounds like a lovely dentist!
 

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