Extreme anxiety about extremely bad teeth

[Prodeka]

Hello, first time posting here, feeling desperate for some support as I feel so lonely on this subject
I'm only 21 years old and my teeth are a disaster, no one knows about this as I hide very well, and It's the first time I'm telling about my issues and this feels very scary for me so please don't judge.
I have a lot of anxiety, always had, since a very young age I was terrified of dentists, and somewhere in my early teens or even before that, maybe around 10 ou 11 years old I started to develop panic for everything dental related including washing my teeth. Just the thought of it made me panic. My parents never saw my fear and just got angry at me for my poor hygiene, they never realized it was a mental thing, years gone by and my dental hygiene was just awful, my teeth soon started to go very bad and I felt in panic and was too ashamed to ask for help because I did this to myself , and now I just with I could have healthy teeth and I know I would take super good care of them and love them but now the bad is done. I'm too ashamed to go to the dentist because my teeth are probably the worst anyone has ever seen. At some points I thought I'd rather suicide than go to a dentist, as I always had in mind that eventually I'd have issues so severe that I had to be seen. Well, the time arrived. My wisdom tooth of lower jaw on the left has been bothering me for many many months, maybe years. It has flare ups that have gone progressively worse. At this exact moment I can't eat or talk or do anything because the pain is so severe and I don't know if this time it will heal and become better with time. I really don't know what to do, I'm very scared. I'm both scared of going to the dentist and being judge but also to learn the extent of the damage and maybe above all, the reaction my parents will have. This is very scary and difficult for me, any positive advice and feedback would be appreciated.

 

[AbeLinkedIn]

Welcome to the forums! Let's get one thing out of the way, your teeth will not be the worst a dentist has ever seen. It's something everyone says, we're our own worst critics, but there's a good chance your teeth isn't in as bad of shape as you think. The key is to find a dentist that specializes in excellent bedside manner and approachable to anxious patients. Of course in the pandemic we're in, finding any dentist can be daunting, but it is possible.

Wisdom teeth is something everyone goes through at some point. Mine thankfully came in well enough but might still need sorting out one day. I have a molar extraction Monday which I'm not looking forward to but it's something I have to face head on. Best of luck!

 

[Enarete]

Hi Prodeka,

first of all thank you very much for sharing your story with us and rest assured that nobody here would judge you. You are doing what you can in this situation and posting here is another courageous step on the journey. You are certainly not alone with this and if you look around here, you will find many people, who started at a similar place where you are.

I was sorry to read that you feel you did that to yourself and even more to read that this situation even makes you think of suicide. I don't think you have done anything wrong, it seems to me that you just were terribly unlucky and had a hard time taking care of your teeth. If washing your teeth causes you so much panic and everything related too, it is only understandable that you would avoid it.

If you are worried about having the worst teeth, I can only second what's been said above: dentists have seen it all. You can read more about this here. I see how you'd be worried about the reaction of your parents and the fear of how much treatment your teeth really need. The most people who are scared of the dentist think they need more treatment than they actually do so chances are that the news won't be as bad as your imagination is telling you. Also, there may be some bad news, but a kind caring dentist can help you get it sorted. There are many dentists out there who enjoy working with nervous patient and will do their best to put you at ease and make you feel comfortable.

It sounds like you are having an excruciating pain that makes you worry you will have to be seen. I can't even imagine what this does to your anxiety. However, no matter what is going on, you are not alone with this.
Have you tried to google to see whether there are any dental practices in your area that you feel may be good with dental anxiety? Could you imagine getting in touch, tell them your story and ask whether they could hep?

All the best wishes

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Hello Prodeka

Wanted to welcome you as well! I second everything @AbeLinkedIn and @Enarete said too! We are really glad you are here and sharing with us! You are in the right place.. We get it and how it is to be here. The embarassment , the shame, the fear and anxiety.. You are in a place of understanding..


I do think you are incredibly brave in this. and I think from what you write, you absolutely have what it takes to turn this around. One small step at a time, with the help of a kind compassionate dentist.

I know that at the age of 30 I was sooo embarassed and ashamed ofmy teeth after years of just lack of self care and self confidence I finally found a dentist I walked into that was so kind to me and she earned my trust little by little. I would walk in covering my mouth I didn't even want her to see it.. and she would say "your smile is beautiful you shouldn't need to cover it , I will help you" , and she really did... she was the first step in my journey of torn around.. It is a journey. little by little.

Give yourself a lot of credit for being so aware and taking care of yourself to the point of searching here and then taking the courage to write a post . You have a lot of supporters here..

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Prodeka,

This video also came to mind from one of our own dentists here on DFC.

New video about blaming ourselves for dental problems

Hi everyone, just completed a new video which is made to help viewers to feel better about themselves when feeling shame, guilt and self-blaming for having dental problems.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

 

[veoh112]

your teeth will not be the worst a dentist has ever seen.

Not true at all. I have been told that by dentist.

 

[AbeLinkedIn]

Not true at all. I have been told that by dentist.

Is there any way you can find another dentist? You don't deserve to be talked to like that. No one does.