Extreme dental phobia

[marialoouisee]

Hi! This is my first time posting in here and I’m just gonna forewarn you that English is not my first language so some spelling mistakes will be made (plus I’m currently pre panic attack lol) (TW: SH AND SUICIDE TALK)

I’m 24 years old and I’m unemployed and still live at home with my mum. I have Audhd, cptsd, borderline personality disorder (or eups), clinical depression and anxiety, so brushing my teeth have been a struggle. One year I didn’t brush at all. I’m also a smoker and energy srinker and my medications gives me the worst cotton mouth.

I’ve always done fillings without local anaesthetic (?) and that’s gone well and without pain. However, about… 2ish years ago? I went in for 1 small hole in one of my back teeth. The dentist then drilled in four teeth, it hurt like hell, the fillings aren’t good and I still have trouble chewing, they missed the tooth with the hole (and now I have four new ones. One on my front tooth according to those same dentists, and then I can see and feel three holes on my roots due to my gums receeding. I’ve gotten much better at brushing my teeth (I use a prescription toothpaste once a day because brushing my teeth also makes me extremely nauseous) and try to remember to floss.

But, I’m having panic attacks pretty much every night now due to having to go back and fix my teeth.
I’ve finally gotten over my fear of needles when drawing blood but just the thought of a needle near my gums makes me panic. I’ve a suicide plan ready due to my extreme fear and I’m even starting to loose my hair due to all the stress this is putting my through.

I’ve been in contact with a few different dentists that do a full on sedation but it’s gonna be super expensive and I need to ‘try to go to a regular dentist’ before I can even think of going to them… I just feel hopeless. I Keep self harming due to it and no one around me can relate to how I’m feeling.
I don’t know what to do

I’ve tried taking benzo before but I still had a panic attack and had to (I forgot the word, cancel?) the appointment

 

[dchodge23]

@marialoouisee So sorry this is happening to you! If it makes you feel better, you are not alone in any of this!!! I haven't been to the dentist is 25 plus years until recently, and am going for a cleaning soon. Been having panic attacks and only sleep few hours at night. You are not alone!!!!!

 

[letsconnect]

@marialoouisee I didn't spot your post when you wrote it last month... so sorry to hear about what you're going through, that sounds very rough . You shouldn't have to go through this on your own.

Are you currently getting any support for the mental health side of things e.g. are you seeing a psychologist or a counsellor? I don't know how things work in Sweden, but if you're not getting enough support at the moment, could you ask your GP/doctor for a referral or for additional support?

I think that a psychologist should also be able to help you tackle the dental side of things, and help you find a suitable dentist.

It sounds as if you're making a huge effort already with brushing more and trying to remember to floss, which can't be easy when you're struggling, so well done!! A couple of ideas - switching to sugar-free energy drinks would help with preventing decay, while still allowing you to indulge... and you could also discuss the cotton mouth issue with the doctor who is prescribing your medication and see if there are alternatives which don't give you dry mouth (dry mouth increases the risk of tooth decay as you're probably aware).

I also did a Google search for helplines in Sweden for suicidal thoughts and it came up with this page:

Find A Helpline | Free emotional support in 130+ countries

Global vetted directory of helplines, hotlines and crisis lines. Chat, text or phone support with suicide, anxiety, depression, domestic violence, gender& sexual identity and more.

findahelpline.com

As @dchodge23 said, you're not alone in this. Don't be shy to reach out and let others know how you feel