Tinella9610
Junior member
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2023
- Messages
- 18
- Location
- Italy
I know that for many it might seem stupid to dump all of my worries in a forum filled with strangers instead of talking to people who are actually close to me but i honestly don't know what else to do, my anxiety, depression and shame are eating me from the inside and i don't know what else to do.
I am a 22 years old girl, currently unemployed and living with my dad and desperately trying to go through many training courses and holding out CVs to companies like candy in hopes to find a job as soon as possible. As you might have guessed i am deadly afraid of the dentist, but that's not my only fear.. there are many that just keep piling up with each other and they ovewhelm me so much every single day that i can't take it anymore. I haven't been to the dentist for a decade now and it's been taking a toll on my teeth as well as my mental health, both my bottom first molars are completely messed up and i get anxiety every time i am forced to look at them in the mirror when i brush, not to mention my wisdom teeth are nearly fully erupted and they're still sitting there. One of them honestly looks like something out of an horror movie.. a crater with a huge piece of what seems to be redd-ish flesh ( i googled it and i read it's called pulp polyp but i can't be sure since i am not a dentist. ) While the other one is just a black crater that seems to slowly be developing the same thing as the other. I am gonna be honest, for all these years of having my teeth like this they have never caused me any significant pain.. sure, they do bother me a bit when i eat but any annoying pain that i've ever had was never bad enough to keep me from sleeping or woke me up in excruciating pain, if anything the anxiety from having my teeth in this state is what keeps me awake currently. However i do understand that just because there is no pain it doesn't mean there's no issues.
Having my teeth like this feels horrible every day, i can never enjoy a full day without worrying about my teeth, i have had many major depressive episodes in the past months and i feel like i can no longer just cope with this. Another big issue that keeps me from speaking up about it is my poor parents, they are divorced but despite this they care about me a lot and i know they would do anything to keep me happy and healthy but instead of being glad this just makes me feel so bad.. i feel horrible for keeping this from them, they always tell me to speak to them whenever i need anything but my fear constantly holds me back. My mother works every single day and comes home stressed and tired and while my dad doesn't work as long as she does he's got his own issues to worry about already. To top it all off, their divorce was not at all a pleasing one and to this day they still fight whenever they see each other and it makes me so scared to tell them anything because i'm afraid it will just become another yelling contest topic between them.
I am tearing up as i write this, i don't know what to do or where to start in getting better, i don't want to live with this burden who knows for how many years more and i don't want to watch my mouth worsen. I try to talk myself into telling my dad first since he's had teeth problems in the past too ( he wears upper dentures ) and prehaps he would understand, but then i think he wouldn't want me to go through the same thing he did. My mom would be the most difficult person to confess this to because being so stressed from work tends to make her feel really frustrated and dramatic at times. I am so scared they will both yell at me for not telling them sooner, for not trusting them, and for not caring enough for myself.
Sometimes i just want to tear these teeth out myself or wish they'd magically go back to normal on their own but that's unfortunately not possible and the only way i could ever get out of this is telling them. So sorry for the long post but i could really use the support..
I am a 22 years old girl, currently unemployed and living with my dad and desperately trying to go through many training courses and holding out CVs to companies like candy in hopes to find a job as soon as possible. As you might have guessed i am deadly afraid of the dentist, but that's not my only fear.. there are many that just keep piling up with each other and they ovewhelm me so much every single day that i can't take it anymore. I haven't been to the dentist for a decade now and it's been taking a toll on my teeth as well as my mental health, both my bottom first molars are completely messed up and i get anxiety every time i am forced to look at them in the mirror when i brush, not to mention my wisdom teeth are nearly fully erupted and they're still sitting there. One of them honestly looks like something out of an horror movie.. a crater with a huge piece of what seems to be redd-ish flesh ( i googled it and i read it's called pulp polyp but i can't be sure since i am not a dentist. ) While the other one is just a black crater that seems to slowly be developing the same thing as the other. I am gonna be honest, for all these years of having my teeth like this they have never caused me any significant pain.. sure, they do bother me a bit when i eat but any annoying pain that i've ever had was never bad enough to keep me from sleeping or woke me up in excruciating pain, if anything the anxiety from having my teeth in this state is what keeps me awake currently. However i do understand that just because there is no pain it doesn't mean there's no issues.
Having my teeth like this feels horrible every day, i can never enjoy a full day without worrying about my teeth, i have had many major depressive episodes in the past months and i feel like i can no longer just cope with this. Another big issue that keeps me from speaking up about it is my poor parents, they are divorced but despite this they care about me a lot and i know they would do anything to keep me happy and healthy but instead of being glad this just makes me feel so bad.. i feel horrible for keeping this from them, they always tell me to speak to them whenever i need anything but my fear constantly holds me back. My mother works every single day and comes home stressed and tired and while my dad doesn't work as long as she does he's got his own issues to worry about already. To top it all off, their divorce was not at all a pleasing one and to this day they still fight whenever they see each other and it makes me so scared to tell them anything because i'm afraid it will just become another yelling contest topic between them.
I am tearing up as i write this, i don't know what to do or where to start in getting better, i don't want to live with this burden who knows for how many years more and i don't want to watch my mouth worsen. I try to talk myself into telling my dad first since he's had teeth problems in the past too ( he wears upper dentures ) and prehaps he would understand, but then i think he wouldn't want me to go through the same thing he did. My mom would be the most difficult person to confess this to because being so stressed from work tends to make her feel really frustrated and dramatic at times. I am so scared they will both yell at me for not telling them sooner, for not trusting them, and for not caring enough for myself.
Sometimes i just want to tear these teeth out myself or wish they'd magically go back to normal on their own but that's unfortunately not possible and the only way i could ever get out of this is telling them. So sorry for the long post but i could really use the support..