E
elizabeth67
Junior member
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2009
- Messages
- 4
- Location
- New Mexico
Hi everyone,
I'm so glad I found this site. I've been reading stories and so many of them have brought me to tears. It feels good to find people who are going through the same thing I am, and even better to hear from people who are on the other side. For the first time ever, I do feel a small bit of hope that I will get through this.
So, my story: I'm a 41 year old woman who hasn't visited the dentist in 12 years (and that time, it was just an emergency visit to extract a molar that had abscessed). Before that, I hadn't visited a dentist since I was a pre-teen. The last major work I had done was when I was 12 and I have blocked most of it out, because I think it must have been traumatizing at the time.
I had a porcelain filling in a top front tooth that eventually discolored and then in my late teens, completely fell out. As a result, I haven't smiled with my teeth showing more than just a little in more than 20 years, which is a great stress to me. I have wanted to get it fixed my whole adult life, but my fear of the dentist makes it impossible. I have gotten as far as asking friends for their dentists, or shopping around online for a good one, but I've never made a call. The idea of making the appointment scares the living crap out of me.
I have another tooth that is broken and decayed a bit in the front bottom area, but it doesn't hurt. However, I also have a molar where the filling and the tooth have broken quite a bit and it causes me a lot of pain. I usually just take some OTC pain reliever and in a few days, it's gone. During the days when it hurts, I obsess about calling a dentist and having it yanked out, and fantasize about having my teeth fixed so that I can smile like a real person, but again... my fear always gets in the way. Once the pain disappears, I try to forget about it, but it's always there in the back of my mind, particularly when I look at myself in the mirror. I am told I'm quite pretty and I have never gone without love/affection/romance, but I have to cover my mouth when I laugh for fear that someone might see some of my dental issues and think I'm horrid.
My son who is now 7 noticed the top front tooth fairly recently and commented on it. This was a huge embarrassment to me, and now I feel compelled to do something about it, if only to show him that HE should not fear the dentist (I take him regularly, but even being in that office makes me nervous). The thing is, I'm so embarrassed about what the dentist or hygienist will say about my decayed teeth. I know there are way worse out there (I've seen the pictures!), but I still feel that mine are really awful and I'm terrified that a) the dentist or hygienist will judge me and then lecture me about how bad I am and b) that I will need to have so much work done that I will have teeth that aren't even mine and will look strange to myself and others.
Now, the molar that usually only hurts now and then has started to hurt more and more, and yesterday, my jaw began to become a little bit sore and swollen. I am pretty sure it's an abscess, and as such, now I'm really terrified because I know that I will have to go in to a dentist and I just don't know how to get the courage up to make the call and then actually go in. I keep praying that the pain will just stop and then I can put it off again, but I know better. In addition, if I'm truly honest, I do want to go get these issues all fixed, because I know that my self-esteem would improve dramatically if I could just smile.
Anyhow, that's my story and I really appreciate those who took the time to read this far. I hope that I can find the support and encouragement I need to get through this. I'm so scared.
Thank you,
Elizabeth
I'm so glad I found this site. I've been reading stories and so many of them have brought me to tears. It feels good to find people who are going through the same thing I am, and even better to hear from people who are on the other side. For the first time ever, I do feel a small bit of hope that I will get through this.
So, my story: I'm a 41 year old woman who hasn't visited the dentist in 12 years (and that time, it was just an emergency visit to extract a molar that had abscessed). Before that, I hadn't visited a dentist since I was a pre-teen. The last major work I had done was when I was 12 and I have blocked most of it out, because I think it must have been traumatizing at the time.
I had a porcelain filling in a top front tooth that eventually discolored and then in my late teens, completely fell out. As a result, I haven't smiled with my teeth showing more than just a little in more than 20 years, which is a great stress to me. I have wanted to get it fixed my whole adult life, but my fear of the dentist makes it impossible. I have gotten as far as asking friends for their dentists, or shopping around online for a good one, but I've never made a call. The idea of making the appointment scares the living crap out of me.
I have another tooth that is broken and decayed a bit in the front bottom area, but it doesn't hurt. However, I also have a molar where the filling and the tooth have broken quite a bit and it causes me a lot of pain. I usually just take some OTC pain reliever and in a few days, it's gone. During the days when it hurts, I obsess about calling a dentist and having it yanked out, and fantasize about having my teeth fixed so that I can smile like a real person, but again... my fear always gets in the way. Once the pain disappears, I try to forget about it, but it's always there in the back of my mind, particularly when I look at myself in the mirror. I am told I'm quite pretty and I have never gone without love/affection/romance, but I have to cover my mouth when I laugh for fear that someone might see some of my dental issues and think I'm horrid.
My son who is now 7 noticed the top front tooth fairly recently and commented on it. This was a huge embarrassment to me, and now I feel compelled to do something about it, if only to show him that HE should not fear the dentist (I take him regularly, but even being in that office makes me nervous). The thing is, I'm so embarrassed about what the dentist or hygienist will say about my decayed teeth. I know there are way worse out there (I've seen the pictures!), but I still feel that mine are really awful and I'm terrified that a) the dentist or hygienist will judge me and then lecture me about how bad I am and b) that I will need to have so much work done that I will have teeth that aren't even mine and will look strange to myself and others.
Now, the molar that usually only hurts now and then has started to hurt more and more, and yesterday, my jaw began to become a little bit sore and swollen. I am pretty sure it's an abscess, and as such, now I'm really terrified because I know that I will have to go in to a dentist and I just don't know how to get the courage up to make the call and then actually go in. I keep praying that the pain will just stop and then I can put it off again, but I know better. In addition, if I'm truly honest, I do want to go get these issues all fixed, because I know that my self-esteem would improve dramatically if I could just smile.
Anyhow, that's my story and I really appreciate those who took the time to read this far. I hope that I can find the support and encouragement I need to get through this. I'm so scared.
Thank you,
Elizabeth