fear and shame.

[panic]

hello , this is my first post!, ive finnaly dicided that i can no longer put off a visit to the dentist,and im terrified! my teeth are in really bad shape and to go along with a dreadfull fear of dentists i am also quite ashamed of my teeth, i dont smile, prompting friends to call me "posh pout" . I laugh with my hand over my face and have horrific eye contact issues. i think my main fear is those dissaproving looks and the thought that my dentist will be disgusted! please please somebody help me . I have an appointment tomorrow and i must attend as i simply cannot go on with teeth like this.

 

[Stress Doc]

Hello Panic and welcome to this forum

Congratulations on moving forward with improving your dental health. Be proud of yourself for taking this big step.

Dental care is a far cry from what it was even a few years ago. The tools and techniques have improved by an immense amount. Dentists can do things today they were impossible a decade ago.

Thanks to all the improvements dentistry can be totally pain free. Many dentists are also becoming increasingly sensitive to people with dental fears. There are a number of things that can be given to help take away the tension, like oral sedation (minor tranquilizers to clam you down), laughing gas and others.

Dentists do not judge you on the state of your teeth. They have seen everything you can imagine and they are only concerned with improving your dental health and getting you the smile you desire. Gone are the days of lectures and scolding.

Your first appointment will usually be a consult. During this meeting you will be able to speak with the dentist and get a feel for how you will "click" with them. During this time you can discuss any concerns you have and explore options. You can decide if this dentist is someone you wish to continue with or you can elect to go elsewhere. Remember, you are in control and have the right to choose the best options for you.

It usually helps to write a list before you go so you do not forget anything.

Taking this step is one of the best gifts you can give yourself, well done!

Keep us informed with your progress. This forum has many people that can provide support and guidance. There is also a great section to find a dentist in your area that is sensitive to people with dental fear.

All the best

 

[panic]

Thanks stress doc! im not sure how im gonna do this, my mind has been on nothing else all day, i know im not going to sleep tonight im just glad my appointment is early so i can get it over with!. will post tomorrow on how things go.

 

[letsconnect]

Hi panic ,
being ashamed and terrified that a dentist would be disgusted with your teeth is very very common. Stress Doc has already given some excellent input, but I thought I'd also mention the following web page on this topic (because it contains comments from actual dentists):

https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/fears/embarrassment/

Good dentists will not judge you, but will only want to help.

I think it is really important that you let your potential dentist know how embarrassed you are and that you fear their reaction. At the beginning of your appointment, you could ask them if you can have a chat with them first, away from "the chair". Do let them know that you cannot cope with negative remarks. It will make things much easier on your dentist if they know what exactly you're worried about .

If you feel you cannot voice your fears in person (many people feel paralysed with fear),you could write them a note beforehand, which you hand over and ask them if they could read it at the beginning of your visit.

In case the dentist did turn out to be unsympathetic to your needs, there is no reason why you can't cut the visit short. Remember that you are in charge - you are the customer, and if this dentist should turn out to be wrong for you, there are plenty more fish in the sea .

I hope though that tomorrow will go really well for you and that you'll be pleasantly surprised

Please let us know how you got on !

 

[panic]

hello, thanks for the support guys!
Well today i somehow managed to make it to the dentist (by myself) without too much panic,i think its because i knew it was just a check up and the real work wasnt starting.
I found the dentist to be a really nice girl, she made me feel comfortable and at ease, i explained that i hadnt been in along time and that i was ashamed of my teeth, she simply had a look and explaned what we can do (wow no leacture or disgust).You know what its not as bad as i thought, yes there is plenty to do but not the extent i was thinking!.
I do however need 4 extractions and 2 of these will have to be done at hospital (aaaagggghhhh scary!) an x-ray a few fillings and a good old clean!.
At a later date (when i can afford it ) im having a sort of denture (i think thats what she said) to replace my two eye teeth after the extraction, we talked about implants but those are tres excpencive.
Now heres the bad news! my dentist was as i said a very nice girl , only.....SHES SENDING ME TO SOMEBODY ELSE!!!!!!. so now i have to deal with going back for acctual work done (needles, drills!!!!!) i also have to deal with the whole "this is the first time you have seen my teeth and i bet you are disgusted" thing again!.
well ive done it once and you bet im doing it again , ive got that foot in the door and its staying till the end this time!.
thanks for listening! xx

 

[Stress Doc]

Hello Panic:

Well Done!!!!

You are beating your fears and moving forward, that is huge. I knew you could do it. Also, your condition was not as bad as you thought.

You have the desire, courage and determination to complete this journey. That is an absolutely an unbeatable combination. You are turning a corner and improving your quality of life.

Keep building upon your success, moving constantly forward.

You are an inspiration to many people that are just contemplating these steps.

You are going to do great. Three cheers to you!

 

[panic]

hello, well the day is almost here! today is wed and i go back to the dentist on fri! the good thing is my appointment is at 9:15 so i wont have much time to talk myself out of it.
Im really scared now i wish id asked what was going to be done on friday as im kinda preparing myself for injections and fillings, but what if its the two extractions!!!! . im petrifyed of the injections and used to be sedated when going to the dentist but because of work commitments i cant have the time off i would need. my husband had an extraction just over a week ago and he was fine about it!!!! he said it felt great to be rid of a tooth that had been giving him so much pain. (with regards to this , how long does it take the gum to heal after an extraction as he says he still has a hole in his gum?)
anyway im gonna make it to the dentist and i suppose if it is the extractions then at least it will be over and when i go back it will just be the fillings! although ill still have the extractions at the hospital to look forward to. is this going to hurt much more as its my eye teeth comming out at the hospital , somehow the back two dont make me as nervous!!!
i will post again on or after firday, wish me luck!!!!!

 

[Hollyharvey]

Hi,

Just want to say good luck for Friday, and if it is the extractions don't worry about it.

I had four extractions back in December, and when he was on the last one, he said 'just this one to take out now and its all done', - I didn't even know that he had started, so it was a very quick and easy procedure.

I can't remember how long it took for the hole in the gum to heal over, but I would imagaine that everyone is different. However, I didn't have any problems and as far as I can recall it was only a couple of days before I felt able to eat properly.

I will be thinking of you on Friday

Holly

 

[brit]

Now heres the bad news! my dentist was as i said a very nice girl , only.....SHES SENDING ME TO SOMEBODY ELSE!!!!!!.

Why??? For everything or just the extractions?
If she was a young and inexperienced NHS associate dentist in UK, I really would get a second opinion before having eye teeth extracted.

You should ask for a written treatment plan, you are making major decisions about your dental health here which are not reversible.

Why would you agree to routine dental treatment from a dentist you haven't even met before? Even with hospital referrals you usually get a consultation first. (Sorry if I've misunderstood and you are seeing her on Friday)

You did fabulously well though

Are you sure implants are out of the question? It's a long-term investment thing..20 years ago they weren't available..now they are...youcan borrow money for such treatments like you might to buy a car....food for thought...you'd go to an experienced implantologist though...obviously.

 

[panic]

hi, thanks for the replies!!! Brit, the eye teeth (well one is an eye tooth the other is on the other side but next to the eye tooth) i was told i would need to go to hospital to have these removed because they are broken after loosing the two fillings (i think they were root fillings) i had, apparently the gum has grown over part of the tooth at the briken line , she said it would be better to have them removed in hospital. as for the implants, this is what i wanted but would no way be able to afford it (i didnt realise you could get help with this) as it is , i will struggle to pay for the pallet £189, so it will be a while before i could even get this! .
my dentist is sending me to another female dentist in the practace i think because she can spend longer with me! the dentist i first visited was new to me but at a practace i have been to before, there isnt a great choice of dentists in my area and i have tried two ,the first was the one i am at now , which i never really had any problem with but i bottled out of some work a few years back and was too ashamed to go back, which sent me to another dentist who i flatley refused to go back to as she was quite rude to me (which i think is what put me off going back to any dentist) so now im back at a dentist i know , i wasnt too worried about meeting a new dentist but i dont want to be pushed from pillar to post every time i visit! can i request to see the same dentist every time?
thanks for listening ( i probably went on a bit there)

 

[panic]

well after thinking i was dealing really well with my upcomming dentist visit (last friday) i discovered that my nerves were only holding out untill i got to that reception desk . i was sweating and shaking, im not sure if this was because i was unsure what was going to happen!. anyway the receptionist informed me i was to pay £16.20 i thought it was £44.60 this time, but no, i was only having x-rays and a dental plan ( wow never been so pleased)
still nervous tho as i was seeing a new girl, she was quite nice but i think by the end of my examination she seemed to be fed up with me flinching! she kept offering to refere me for sedation but i would have to wait till june! so i said no im here now and i cant bare the thought of waiting till then,
so heres the verdict: the two molars (i think) bottom left very last one at the back and bottom right third on from the back. the left one is comming out the right one may be saved.
top left very last one: filling.
upper left and right (eye teeth i think) left ,third from front , right fourth from front, extractions in hospital.
removal of tatare and claen and polish.
so better than i thought but i must ask next time about whitening, ive had work done on my four front teeth in the past and have read somwhere that the material used is matched to your tooth colour and as a result can not be whitened . i hope this isnt the case as my teeth are very discoloured and even a couple of shades would make a difference.
well thanks for listening again.

 

[panic]

hello again.
i havnt posted in a while so ill bring u up to speed.
Last friday ( 13/02) i had a filling WITHOUT SEDATION!! yay me!I was very scared but got through it , my dentist was very nice and she kept asking if i was ok! all good except i thought id be alot number, i wasnt in pain but i was expecting my face to be numb and it wasnt! oh well ive done it now (yay me again)
So today ,in fact an hour ago i had my first of 4 extractions. Again it seemed to take forever to get numb and i must have had at least 8 injections! im wondering if the force of the pulling made me think it was hurting? anyway we got it done and although it was uncomfortable it was ok ( another yay!) 3 to go and im back next week. 2 together next time lower right 3rd one in and upper right 4th from front! this one is a bit scary as i need the gum slit as theres not much tooth to get hold of but i have confidence in my dentist now.
so the extraction today, although it was fine , im really scared of losing the blood clot, ive read so much on here about dry socket and im really scared of doing something wrong! especially while im still numb! oh well it will go away soon i suppose , ill just be extra carefull, it does look awful though.
well thanks for listening again and you know what? my post was origanly called fear and shame, i think i'll change it now to "just a little scared".

 

[letsconnect]

Congratulations !!! You've done so well !

Dry sockets (statistically) are actually a relatively rare occurrence, although you may come across them on this forum more frequently (quite a few people join *because* they experience dry socket...). So try not to lose any sleep about it . I've attached a PDF file which outlines what to do/not to do after extractions (I think it's on page 3).

 

[panic]

thanks letsconnect, that article was really helpful, its a few hours now since the extraction and all is well. no bleeding and although slightly uncomfortable , no pain!
I would like to ask a question though!
on my next visit i will be having a tooth extracted 4th from front right side,i was told that as the tooth is broken and theres not much there i will have to have my gum cut open and peeled back also some possable bone removal. is this ok to have done just with numbing injections? i was made aware that the injections themselves will be more painfull but im quite worried about the gum slicing and stitches! do you have any advice??
thanks again.