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Fear of the Dentist and Grumpy Dentist

N

Nalz

Junior member
Joined
May 19, 2023
Messages
11
Location
United Kingdom
**possibly triggering - mentions of local anaesthetic**

Hello,

I'm a newbie and joined since I have a fear of the dentist. I'll openly admit to neglecting my teeth for years due to depression and anxiety and didn't visit a dentist for 6 years between the ages of 16 and 22. At the age of 22 I found a dentist who helped ease my anxiety and I'm still with said dentist. I have gum disease and try my best to keep up my dental hygiene, flossing as much as I can etc. Flossing was a problem for me at first due to a fear of pulling out a tooth, filling, or crown.

This year so far, I've had to call my dentist and visit him in January (wisdom tooth infection), February (broken filling), March (another broken filling on another tooth) and April (another broken filling on another tooth). My dentist can be passive aggressively grumpy at times. On my visit in April, I again apologised for having to call again to which he replied "that's what we're here for" but then proceeded to sigh. A few minutes after giving me the injection to fill the tooth, he asked if it was starting to feel numb. It wasn't and I told him so. He replied "of course it isn't" *sigh*. He then proceeded to give me another injection which he placed in a couple of places around the gum (taking it out and putting it back in again). He hit a nerve which made me jump and squeal. I said that it felt like an electric shock. He impatiently said "yes, that's because I've hit a nerve" with no other explanation. I proceeded to have a panic attack (one which wasn't obvious to him but internally, I was having all the symptoms). I left the surgery afterwards gagging and trying to calm down.

Last night, I started having pain on the left side of my mouth. No specific tooth but just in that area. Today it has eased a lot but both sides seem to be sensitive. I am freaking out about possibly having to call again. My partner and my family members all say that it's his JOB to deal with things like this but I don't know if I can deal with the passive aggressiveness (I hate confrontation). I'm the type of person who doesn't say anything to anyone for ages and then one day blows up. I have visions of me walking out and telling him that I'll find another dentist!

So sorry for the lost post. I needed to vent.
 
**possibly triggering - mentions of local anaesthetic**

Hello,

I'm a newbie and joined since I have a fear of the dentist. I'll openly admit to neglecting my teeth for years due to depression and anxiety and didn't visit a dentist for 6 years between the ages of 16 and 22. At the age of 22 I found a dentist who helped ease my anxiety and I'm still with said dentist. I have gum disease and try my best to keep up my dental hygiene, flossing as much as I can etc. Flossing was a problem for me at first due to a fear of pulling out a tooth, filling, or crown.

This year so far, I've had to call my dentist and visit him in January (wisdom tooth infection), February (broken filling), March (another broken filling on another tooth) and April (another broken filling on another tooth). My dentist can be passive aggressively grumpy at times. On my visit in April, I again apologised for having to call again to which he replied "that's what we're here for" but then proceeded to sigh. A few minutes after giving me the injection to fill the tooth, he asked if it was starting to feel numb. It wasn't and I told him so. He replied "of course it isn't" *sigh*. He then proceeded to give me another injection which he placed in a couple of places around the gum (taking it out and putting it back in again). He hit a nerve which made me jump and squeal. I said that it felt like an electric shock. He impatiently said "yes, that's because I've hit a nerve" with no other explanation. I proceeded to have a panic attack (one which wasn't obvious to him but internally, I was having all the symptoms). I left the surgery afterwards gagging and trying to calm down.

Last night, I started having pain on the left side of my mouth. No specific tooth but just in that area. Today it has eased a lot but both sides seem to be sensitive. I am freaking out about possibly having to call again. My partner and my family members all say that it's his JOB to deal with things like this but I don't know if I can deal with the passive aggressiveness (I hate confrontation). I'm the type of person who doesn't say anything to anyone for ages and then one day blows up. I have visions of me walking out and telling him that I'll find another dentist!

So sorry for the lost post. I needed to vent.
long post not lost.
 
Nalz,,

First off I'm so sorry you have had to deal with the grumpy and passive agressiveness at your appointments. It sounds really intimidating and anxiety producing. I'd be hesitant to call to after that.. Next. I really hope you are giving yourself a TON of credit.. for not going for sometime, mustering the courage to not only go to one appt but several in a few months span. It also sounds you are doing your best to catch up on being good with your dental care at home! I would think most dentists would be very impressed at your drive in doing this despite
having to rise above anxiety and depression to do it!

I'm SO sorry for that anesthetic experience, that sounds awful and jolting. agh.. I wasn't there but from how its written I wonder if he was in a hurry when giving the additional shots. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I'd want a break and not to go in too soon too. I hope any pain and discomfort goes away soon for you. If you have to go in , do you think someone may go with you? maybe he wouldn't be so quick to be grumpy if there was another person in the room with you?
 
I am so sorry for taking so long to reply! So, the pain was on my right side and not the left like I said previously. I bit the bullet and called the emergency dentist on Saturday as it was causing a lot of pain. I have an infection and I'm on metronidazole. Called my regular dentist on Monday (who was super sweet btw, he's such a Jekyll and Hyde) and said the tooth in question will need to be extracted. I decided to wait a few days to let the infection settle with the antibiotics and I have an appointment on Monday morning for the extraction. I am super scared and googling like crazy (which I know I shouldn't do, but my mentality is that forewarned is forearmed). Thankfully, he is prescribing me diazepam to take beforehand which should settle the nerves a bit for the actual procedure but the aftermath is worrying me slightly too. I drink large amounts of camomile tea throughout the day which I have to avoid for 24 hours I think and I also vape which is a big no no for a few days. This'll be tough! I will definitely have my partner in with me which will hopefully make the dentist less grumpy.
 
I honestly don't know why some dentists do this. Yes they're human, we all go through things, but how on earth can you get your mouth in a decent state if you're frightened of the person treating you, one who is in a position of trust and capable of causing you pain if not treating you properly..
Id be speaking to the practice manager, or looking elsewhere. It's not reassuring or calming when you don't know which side of the person you're going to get. Once a dentist berated me, told me I wasn't feeling pain when I was, lost patience/told me off, I'd move on, trust/feeling comfortable with them was lost. Sadly it's not easy to find new dentists these days and you end up stuck with them.

Well done for having the courage to call them again., esp after your last visit- I hope having your partner there puts him off being rude/snarky.
 
I honestly don't know why some dentists do this. Yes they're human, we all go through things, but how on earth can you get your mouth in a decent state if you're frightened of the person treating you, one who is in a position of trust and capable of causing you pain if not treating you properly..
Id be speaking to the practice manager, or looking elsewhere. It's not reassuring or calming when you don't know which side of the person you're going to get. Once a dentist berated me, told me I wasn't feeling pain when I was, lost patience/told me off, I'd move on, trust/feeling comfortable with them was lost. Sadly it's not easy to find new dentists these days and you end up stuck with them.

Well done for having the courage to call them again., esp after your last visit- I hope having your partner there puts him off being rude/snarky.
I totally agree with you! Especially when it was a dentist who initially helped you get over the phobia of actually going in the first place and then he changes. The extraction went well on Monday. My partner came in with me and he seemed to be in a good mood (to be honest, I was that chilled from the diazepam, I don't think I'd have cared if he wasn't, haha). The tooth was out in 30 seconds or so and I'm coming to the end of day 4 after extraction. I've been obsessing about the extraction site and checking it constantly and religiously doing the salt water rinses. It seems to be healing nicely but I'm starving and craving a KFC 🤣
 

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