• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Fear &sadness first do no harm

L

Llama2022

Junior member
Joined
Apr 23, 2022
Messages
15
Location
New England
Traumatized decades ago after domestic situation led to forced extractions of a number of teeth that could have been saved but “I was not worth the cost and dr was told pull them”. Ended up with four dry sockets to this day I recall smell of cloves maybe it was the medicine. I never went into a dental office again. But I did survive. By time I saw dentist they said you need all pulled and by then I was diagnosed with multiple serious health issues and it was impossible for medical and cost. Also could not have novicaine and there be issues with anesthesia etc etc. No one in all me medical teams ever discussed my oral situation despite many specialist involved in my health. Tooth crumbling front tooth broke off and I willed self to follow appt made to dentist who was so compassionate but said couldn’t extract must see oral surgeon referee so I went. This Dr made light of my health and my fears would not discuss ways to help lessen pain during extraction said it’s no big thing spoke to my Pcp knows I can’t have Reg novicaine some thing in it will affect me epinephrine. Office wasn’t wearing masks but live in high infection state and I’m high risk said no big deal, course they are masked fully in back. I’m so confused and scared. I had such good attitude and was proud of self until walking out I felt like I didn’t matter and all the fears were returning. Said nothing can prevent more dry sockets, wouldn’t tell me if could use numbing gel before needle and said this is such a simple quick thing basically embarrassing me. Can’t go elsewhere, have no dental insurance has my money I need help getting thru this, prayers, both. The original dentist said all nine need removed but medically my drs said it’s impossible at this time but let’s take care of this. I’m told I have had a lot of courage at times but I’m not with this. So I’m dealing with my extreme fear along with the medical complications and the affect could have on my health. Please help, advice words of encouragement or faith. Thank you
 
Llama2022,

:welcome: to DFC.. First let me say I am so sorry to hear of your dental experiences and the way they treated you.. The feeling of having your needs and requests disregarded and feeling like you don't matter after getting up the courage you did after a previous bad experience is just really really hard . :grouphug:So it sounds like you say you have no choice does this mean you have not had the procedure and just visited the office? or have they done the procedure? Are there maybe multiple dentists/surgeons at the clinic ,? would it be worth to talk to another one there ? I know it is really hard sometimes to find dentists w certain insurance, when I was 30 I was on medicaid and hardly anyone took it and the ones who did was a long wait.. well... after multiple bad tries I did find a young dentist just opened who was compassionate that took me in with medicaid.. I will definately pray for peace and an answer for you. Remember you are worth good kind care.. Honestly I've walked out a few times on unkind care and it felt empowering. You deserve good care and I believe you can find it!
 
@krlovesherkids777

Thank you so very very much for taking the time to even read my post God bless you the extraction is May 4 I’ve been referred the dentist who referred me had seen me and was so kind he didn’t even charge what he was checking my primary care doctor got involved because of all my medical conditions and contra indications on certain medication such as regular Novacaine the oral surgeon charge me $180 just to look in my mouth and wanted a down payment of another 200+ yes he was told that I am on a very limited income I was declared federally disabled about 12 years ago after the local doctors had sent me down to Vanderbilt to figure out what was happening to my autonomic system. Thank you so much for acknowledging me God bless you and yours
 
Llama2022

Do you think the kind dentist that referred you might be able to speak to him and advocate and advise him to be a little more gentler and kinder with you? Does he have previous good experience with him.. ? I know sometimes they just refer off location or cost . Maybe if he knows the dentist has a heads up you are concerned he may settle down a little at the thought of not getting more referrals..? I just really hope you could get good kind care that you would know you matter !
 
@krlovesherkids777

No but my Pcp knows the first dentist which is why I went there we just didn’t know he would not do extraction. When he examined my mouth he said that the treatment plan would be I would need nine teeth pulled and full parts dentures before all this was done that none of my teeth could really be saved something about when all those other teeth were pulled a long time ago when my ex wouldn’t let them save any because it was cheaper to just pull any way back said nobody knew that I had any diseases or issues that would affect my teeth and my bone it’s probably looking back why I was having teeth problems anyway my PCP kid speak to the oral surgeon and they honestly told me today that we must just think of him as a mechanic getting the truth out they were pretty disappointed in how he treated me and I had not gone alone and I can’t drive an acquaintance was kind enough to take me and she said in on the consult so it wasn’t me being oversensitive she was pretty flabbergasted I had brought my list of medications and my list of allergies I also have Mast Cell disease and I’m allergic to many many things and he was negatively commenting that’s what I meant by being dismissive but he had already been told by my doctor that I was in a difficult situation I don’t understand when I go to websites dentist or oral surgeons it says that their first care is for you to feel safe and as pain-free as possible yet he has said I have nothing to do with your medication pre-op or postop he said he was not giving me any medicine said go home and take a Tylenol yet his website discusses all about pain free dentistry and health big they are into that I had to call back and ask about the nitrous oxide but it’s another 150 my PCP said they would rather I take a 1 mg Ativan they know I have for the dysautonomia and take it a half hour before the procedure he’s not giving any antibiotics the only question was how was your blood pressure which he knew from my doctor my blood pressure is very labile due to the dysautonomia I have what’s called hyperadrenergic autonomic neuropathy. My PCP said we have to just get me safely premedicated before which they are doing and get me in and out of there it’s a horrible added stress I don’t know why I’m being treated like this I see reviews and people say the office is pain free. I only have Medicare I Cheng Ke have Medicaid I’m poor but not poor enough LOL my doctor say my humor has been my greatest strength so this is all going to be credit cards and cutting into a lot of groceries for many months. Thank you again for caring enough about a stranger sometimes it feels like the world has forgotten us invisible people.
 
Oh in regard to the treatment plan the medical doctors said that was not possible as the first dentist had told the oral surgeon they would do that all at one time and put in dentures first I couldn’t afford that but more than that medically I would not be approved my medical doctors explained they said they just wanted to take this tooth which half of the tooth is gone it’s a front tooth but my vanity disappeared a long time ago beauties from the inside out anyway but my doctors were hoping to see how my body reacted to even one extraction
 
Why did they move my post is where I posted for nervous patients ? I thought that was correct , sorry if wrong posting . Thank you
 
Hi, the post was in the “Ask a Dentist” section, but it seemed to be more about general support, rather than a specific question to a dentist about a tooth/gums/particular dental treatments.

The whole Dental Fear Central website is directed at people who are fearful of the dentist (though not everyone realises this - some get the impression that it’s a general dental forum and those posts are moved into the “General dental questions” area).

I apologise if your post was moved in error 😔
 
Llama2022.

Just really sorry to hear how the oral surgeon is treating you. :(. I wish you could go go to a place you felt care and kindness. it makes it for alot less stressful situation. I'm hoping that if you go, at least it lives up to the painfree part. I did way back go to an oral surgeon who honestly was a bit of a jerk to me and I didn't like him a bit but have to say he got me in and out with no pain. I wouldn't go back because I really didn't like how he treated me and now I know there are those that do care and treat with kindness too. so I really hope if you end up going it will be in the least pain free. I do with you could somehow get someone who would validate your needs and concerns and be patient and kind. :grouphug:
 
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