feel alone...and scared

[lunar05]

hi guys.......I am feeling like i can't do this. Ok it all started when i joined this board but let me tell you you guys are giving me the courage to keep going, It all started a couple days ago when my wisdom teeth were coming in more. Let me tell you my heart sank i didn't know what was going on or anything then just last night i started looking at my teeth in the mirror and saw some brown spots on my teeth and thought to my self ok ima need some serious cleaning going on. The people in my area.....I hate em i can't stand em for some reason and i don't trust em, i get treated like dirt when i am around someone i just feel like zoning out to get away from em like i just want to go home and curl into a ball. I am having a serious problem, I can't stand being around my job like i shut up when someone is talking to me im like (Huh?) now i am having this problem, how would i feel being around my dentist when i hate the people that live in this town? i feel like im shelterd and laughing out loud i have no girl friend no one to help me deal with this pressure of every day life that is why i feel so alone my parents boy do they not even have a clue whats going on, the could care less that i have dental phobia. I currently made this appointment to go to a dentist, but haha appt down...gone....buh bye. I do not feel like making another call because of being afraid that it is going to turn out just like the last one, these dentist that live in this town are cruel, souless people that don't care what you are going through but now my mom wants me to call this dentist who live out of town that my dad feels like oh hey dwayne you can trust him he is a very gentle caring dentist i feel right now like ya....right he can't help me..... no one can help me. Guys i am my own dentist now, theres no one who can help me i will just have to clean my own teeth.... because no one in this town can help me like they help yall. these guys are like demons who want to put you threw misery and pain thats what they thrive off of..........i'm afraid.....feel so alone.....don't know what to do.

 

[brit]

Hi Lunar
Did you want a reply to this post?....we are not supposed to do them to items in the Diary section unless posters request them. You've raised more points than in the posts in the Support section...but if its more cathartic writing and you don't want comments that's fine.
If you say no to comments I'll delete this too -so it stays just as your thread.

 

[lunar05]

move it to support

you can move it to support if you want and ppl can help me out.

 

[freakout]

Hi & You are among friends here. It sounds like you have had some awful experiences. First you need to find a dentist whom you can trust will not cause you pain. Many times getting recommendations from family and/or friends is the a good way to start. Perhaps you can e-mail or write to the dentist that your dad has recommended. Explain your fears and concerns, if you are comfortable with the response you receive, ask if you could set up a "chat only" appointment. By doing this you will be able to see if this is the right dentist for you. Take baby steps. Finding a dentist that is caring and respects you, will make dental care much easier to pursue.

Best of luck & keep us posted

 

[brit]

Okay I'll move it all to support....

my parents boy do they not even have a clue whats going on, the could care less that i have dental phobia.  

This comment doesn't sit right with me, given this one:

but now my mom wants me to call this dentist who live out of town that my dad feels like oh hey dwayne you can trust him he is a very gentle caring dentist

I think you might be underestimating how much your parents do want to help...I'm a parent...I could be right on this....

i feel right now like ya....right he can't help me..... no one can help me. Guys i am my own dentist now,  these guys are like demons who want to put you threw misery and pain thats what they thrive off of..........i'm afraid.....feel so alone.....don't know what to do.

You're not alone...even right now there are at least two other US based posters who are male and who seem to exhibit a  strong feeling that ALL dentists actually mean them harm and are only in it for the money.
I realise you probably don't all really mean it...it's more a show of the strength of your fear but to increase the odds considerably of finding a kind caring competent dentist, personal recommendations based on facts are the best  (but not only) route....so I was wondering what is your Mum's recommendation based on? It sounds like the finances are maybe not too much of a problem?.... I think maybe you need to arrange an appointment but not a normal check up appt, 'just a chat' so that you can tour the office and meet your prospective dentist to ensure you feel comfortable..you need to tell them up front how nervous you are (send an e-mail if phoning is too difficult) and that you want to discuss specifically what they can do to make you feel able to have a check-up and maybe treatment. Dentists are human just like you and have chosen to do a job which is often financially lucrative but which does a lot of good for people's health and wellbeing.  I've done 'the chat only' thing myself, I can tell you that provided you don't dislike the person you meet in this 'neutral' way for who they are rather than what they are (dentist)...it will then make it easier to accept them in that 'essentially caring' role. You like them (a bit?) as a person, so you can accept them as a dentist.

Whatever happened to you in the past...as an adult you are free to leave if anyone or anything makes you uncomfortable but best to say what's distressing you first to give them a chance to adjust maybe.

Hope the one you've already approached turns out to be your 'dream dentist' such as you outlined in your other thread 'Dream dentist'..not an impossibility at all...many US practices have DVD screens on the ceiling etc etc.....the right person is the most important element however.
Good luck