Feeling completely hopeless

[Mayo]

I don’t even know where to begin. Short version is, I had a crown and root canal on one of my two front teeth. The crown looked great, but didn’t feel great. It was uncomfortable. The bite felt off, and I think the side of the crown touches a little before my other side. This all resulted in being in pain at times. I kept going back to the dentist to have him work on the back, letting him know each time how much what he is doing is helping, and I think we’re getting closer, but that I’m still not completely comfortable. Maybe 6 or 7 times, if I had to guess, including the standard post op check ups.

In October I could tell he was getting fed up with me, so I didn’t go back for several months, thinking that I should just see if I could adapt to the way the tooth feels. But when the pain started back up, I decided I had to go back in. I went back in December and he grilled me on why, if I’ve been uncomfortable, hadn’t I been back in since October. It was all really strange and uncomfortable.

Well, I got him to work on the back, and while he was filing, he must have hit the bottom of it at some point. When he left the room, I happened to look at the mirror before walking out, and noticed it immediately. The assistant was there with me, and I asked her, “are you seeing this??” And she actually looked scared, and said she did. I asked her if she could bring the dentist back in.

When he was returning, I could see him rounding the corner and he looked mad. I was super panicked over my tooth. I was shaking. I showed him, expecting him to apologize and offer some sort of explanation. Instead, he denied doing it. He completely denied doing it. I couldn’t believe it. Of course I didn’t think he did it on purpose, and dentists are human too and make mistakes. But I never would have expected him to completely deny doing it. Things got tense, as I insisted that I did not walk in with it looking this way, and he told me he would give me my money back but that he would not be redoing the crown (which is fine, I would not have let him). He said that nothing he does makes me happy, which is not true. I only wanted to be comfortable. I never nit picked the way the crown looked. It is a beautiful crown. But he wasn’t going to admit to doing it, and he fired me as a patient (again, that’s totally fine because I don’t think I could have gone back), so I left.

Now, I’m left once again feeling so self-conscious of my smile. But on top of that, the back still feels off. I can’t even explain it, because it’s not the bite. But it’s the way that the bottom tooth hits it. My guess is that my bottom teeth are hitting the crown before they reach my other teeth. I tried telling him this before.

I’m feeling so defeated. I’m uncomfortable, and I hate the way it looks. I’m out a dentist, and I’m scared to go back to the dentist ever again. I feel immobilized in my fear, but I can’t wait too long because I’m not comfortable. But I’m losing hope that I’ll ever be able to be comfortable again. I’m scared to just get another crown, and go through that all again, when I may find myself just as uncomfortable as I am now, and/or hating the way the new crown looks. I’m also scared that, since it’s a root canal tooth, it won’t be able to hold up to being redone.

I don’t know what to do.

 

[Enarete]

Hi Mayo,

I'm sorry to read how you feel and I can't even imagine how defeating this situation is.

From how you described the story, it seems to me that there are several things that have been happening parallelly here: firstly, it is about you have been dealing with the discomfort of the crown over and over again, basically from the moment on where the crown was placed. Secondly, it's about your relationship with your dentist... and now, it's about the damage that has been done to the crown.

As I was reading about your pain and how you have been back 6 to 7 times and it still didn't feel right, you tried to adjust and still no change, I was just thinking what an ordeal.. the crown must be on your mind 24/7 in a state like that. I was impressed that you have been coming back to the same dentists for adjustments and not giving up and I could imagine that this was frustrating for both of you. I was also wondering whether crowns have a limit as to how far they can be adjusted and whether there is any point where it would be better to try to figure out what to try next if adjusting it over and over again doesn't help.

Looking at the damage that was done to the crown, it looks like you have another problem with the crown now, but even if it wasn't there - you would still have the pain. It seems to me that, as sad as it is, this crown is not working for you right now and the chip only made your urge to find a solution stronger, along with more distress. By the way, purely optically, you (and dental staff) are the only people who can notice. I have never met anyone who is able to notice the shape of the bottom of the teeth of a smiling or talking person. But this is just a bottom line: the thing is bothering YOU and that's the only thing that counts.

When it comes to the relationship with your dentist, I see your confusion, anger, and anxiety around the fact that he denied doing it. I see the hurt and the definite loss of trust. But then I also see that you wouldn't let him work on the crown any further anyway and wouldn't want to continue your care with him, so getting your money back and moving on is how it would have ended up anyway. So this part is about the hurt and anxiety and about how painful it is if other people dismiss our feelings and perspectives and make us feel like a bother. This is very difficult to deal with and may take a while for you to process. Sadly, conflicts between people happen and they happen in all areas of life so while this hurt doesn't change the fact that you are in pain and that the crown is chipped, and that you need a new dentist, I see how dealing with it stirs up all possible difficult emotions.

Right now, probably whatever you do feels wrong: looking for someone else feels wrong, not looking feels wrong, the thought of having the crown redone feels wrong (I could imagine there is a huge fear of losing a front tooth too), not having it redone feels wrong, you are in pain, emotionally and physically. Of course, you feel immobilized. Maybe giving yourself a breather and a moment to process this all and to look for what you can control right now and what your options are maybe the best thing. I believe that we always have options and that there are solutions to most things and I wish for you to be able to start moving forward with this soon. We can't change past things that happened and things sometimes do not go according to the plan, but there may be a solution that you don't see.

Sending you virtual hugs, hang in there and stay kind to yourself. Hope things get better for you soon

 

[champ]

Your smile in the picture looks great, so please don't worry about that. Your physical discomfort is another thing. Do you know what kind of crown was used on your tooth? Because if you have it redone, maybe you could do the same type since you are happy with it.
I once had a filling on a Friday, which I realized too late was too high. I had pain all weekend in my neck and arm from my teeth meeting incorrectly. That Monday, my dentist (who was surprised I hadn't called over the weekend, but I didn't know I could - long time ago) fixed it. Yes, an off bite can cause extreme discomfort and your old dentist should know that.

 

[Mayo]

Thank you, both of you. I appreciate the responses and I’m sorry for the delayed response.

I’ve been so afraid to go back to any dentist, but also knew I had to at least figure out what’s causing the discomfort in my bite. The new dentist I ended up seeing said my bottom tooth is sitting where the back of my crown is, and they’re competing for space. I had braces when I was a teenager but lost my night retainer that’s supposed to keep your teeth from shifting back. My bottom front teeth have shifted. The dentist said I needed to see an orthodontist. I went to the orthodontist yesterday, and decided to get a spring retainer to move that bottom tooth back into position. I’m hopeful that this may at least be the solution for the discomfort.

I had dental anxiety before, but it’s increased since that experience with my dentist. I have been able to process the visit a little, and there was a moment he lost control of his drill. It was a half a second or so, not long, but it startled me. Anyway, I think that’s when he may have accidentally hit the bottom of my tooth. What’s most painful about that experience was that he denied having done it. An apology would have went a long way.

Thanks again for taking the time to “chat” with me about this. Both of your responses helped a lot.