feeling helpless

[Terrified45]

It's taken me months just to start looking for a dentist, just the though of telling/showing someone my mouth brings me out in cold sweats, I cant sleep at night, I worry about eating in case I break any teeth. I worry that things will get a lot worse if I don't get treatment and the thought of dentures make me weep, but I am too embarrassed to get help.
I had a great dentist once, then he retired, the next dentist I saw made me feel very ashamed and I just couldn't go back for the treatment, I did try again a couple of years later, but I had a massive panic attack in the clinic and I think It scared the practice as well as me, so that was it till now,
I fell across this site by accident, I hadn't really thought about dental phobia as being a real thing that lots of people had I just thought It was me, and although even looking online for a dentist brings me to tears and panic, I'm hopeful that at least I've been able for the first time to voice my fears

 

[Enarete]

Hi Terrified45,

thank you so much for sharing your story with us, this is a very brave thing to do! I am so sorry to read that your dentist retired.. it must have been hard to make yourself to go to someone new - even twice - and then ending up with a panic attack.

I am glad you found this site and hopefully we managed to show you that dental phobia is a real thing and that you are not alone in this. The good thing is, that many dentists know it's real too and many of them actually enjoy working with nervous patients!

Beating dental fear is a journey of small steps. It sounds like you have had some set backs along the way but are willing to try again. That's very courageous and with this approach you cannot fail.

For now, may I suggest that you stay kind to yourself and allow yourself the time you need to become friends with trying again? If looking online for a dentist brings you to tears and panic, then maybe slowing down a bit more may be the best approach. How to start by thinking about what it is that scares you?

Btw. this place is great to vent and reflect and simply allow your thoughts to flow. Writing a journal here was, for me, life saving back then as I was starting my journey.

All the best wishes

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Hello Terrified45,

We are so glad you found us and are a part of Dental Fear Central. It is a huge step to share your story! We are so glad you did. You will definately find there are many who share the same and similar ,fears, anxieties, struggles. Though we are not all the same, is just different talking with people who get it and support you! I completely agree with @Enarete, this is a great place to vent , and I know for me has brought me great healing!

I'm so sorry too you lost the dentist you trust... it is hard to find someone you do sometimes, well alot of times.. but they are out there. I'm glad you had the good experience with that dentist to know what is right and acceptable. And I'm really glad you know that shaming dentists are not so glad you didn't go back there. Sometimes we need a rest after grieving the loss of a really good dentist that cared, then have someone that made you feel ashamed. I would run for a bit too!

I had so many very rude and shaming dentists myself up until 30 yrs old and was so scared and ashamed of my teeth and the whole situation, I found a dentist I would walk in covering my mouth so ashamed. She was so kind and her compassion really made a huge difference for my dental and my anxiety and so much. I really really hope you can find someone that will show you that kindness. and maybe even have some familiar traits or styles to your old dentist.

Do you have an idea what you are looking for like traits that help you in a dentist? have you looked specifically for who you will check out on the next step? I would encourage you to email or fb them ,telling them of your sitation and see how they respond. I did that when looking and it really helped separate some of the more helpful kind ones .

Wishing you the best.