Feeling like haven't been there? Did you have it too?

[Enarete]

I realized that I cannot remember much from the examination during my first visit (one week ago) and I really start to worry about it. It feels like I haven't been there or haven't been in my body. I also have almost no memories about my past visits despite having some work done, there are just glimpses of the very negative experiences.

I am now afraid that I did something wrong or that the first visit went wrong because if it were good I must have remembered the majority of it.

Does anybody know what I am talking about? Did you feel like this after your first appointment? Is it a bad sign? Does it mean it went too fast? And is there any hope for the next appointment? Am I crazy?

I would appreciate any input. Starting to question my sanity.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

The further away from the appointment things get the harder the mind harassess with worry and anxiety. It happens to me. It is SO REAL... I know you are not crazy , you are a blessing and the anxiety is just clouding the view of the past right now. pm'ed you ..

 

[Sevena]

Sounds like dissociation. Have a google and a read about it and see if it sounds like you. In cases where there is anxiety and fear, the brain can use it as a defense mechanism. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong at your last appointment, or that it went badly - feeling the same anxiety you usually do in the dentist chair might have just brought on the same response. While dissociation blocks out many negative feelings, or blocks them from memory, it's not great if you're trying to get over a fear.

I'd do some reading on the subject. Dissociation (if that's what's happening to you) can be handled so don't panic that you're broken or anything. Therapy is a good way of getting tools to ground yourself in the present and prevent episodes like that.

 

[Anxious76]

This happens to me too, and I agree with what the others have said with it being anxiety related. It's our brains way of making us more comfortable, by blocking out certain things. You didn't do anything wrong, your brain is just not recalling the experience even though your body can recall the feelings associated with it. Things went well at my last two appointments but I don't remember them clearly and still have anxiety about my next appointment. I am working with a therapist to try to get past the automatic physiological responses my body has to dental situations and appointments.

 

[Enarete]

Thank you so much for your feedback. I have read about dissociation and feel like it's quite what happened. Just thought that if I really go slow with the dentist I wouldn't have a chance to dissociate because I wouldn't reach the point of total discomfort. And if I have reached that point that means we went too fast.

Maybe I will talk to him about this one next time and ask him if he sees a possibility to slow down the pace even more or maybe he knows some strategies how to work with me anyway?

 

[Sevena]

Definitely talk to the dentist and get their thoughts on how the appointment went. Remember though, it might not have been anything bad about the appointment. Dissociation becomes a learned response in the brain, so your brain doesn't always care if this new dentist is different, the association is: dental appointment -> trauma. People with severe trauma can find themselves dissociating over everyday triggers - smells, sounds, etc etc, even when they are far removed from a traumatic environment. That's why it's important to address the dissociation itself via grounding rather than trying to change the environment.

 

[tigerstripedred]

My first appointment has some missing pieces to it because i was just that distraught having a full on panic attack with tears and all...before I even met the staff heck before i even got there. Basically the fact that i was bawling my eyes out (i remember the parts that i would find embarrassing) had no effect on the missing/foggy parts...that was going to happen whether i managed to appear fine on the outside or completely lost control because I was that anxious.
My second appointment was kind of the same as that was the one where i found out everything I needed to get done ....foggy missing pieces here and there.
It stopped after a few visits when I started to trust her and I had a better idea of how the appointment would go. I was still just as anxious and freaked out but no more fuzzy recall. It also helped that my dentist started to notice when I was starting to freak out inside and stop working until I re-focused and acknowledge her saying my name.

I don't think this means anything bad happened or that you might have done something wrong. I think it was anxiety driven and hopefully it will improve as you become more comfortable and familiar with the staff. It seems they are very understanding like my dentist has been...if you are really worried then email and get the dentist's opinion on how they thought things went...but really I think you were fine and overthinking the hypothetical possibilities trying to fill in the blanks with worst case scenerios because anxiety does that. *hugs* don't try to fill in the blanks (easier said than done I know).

 

[Enarete]

Thank you very much, this helps a lot.. to know that it doesn't mean something went wrong or that my dentist is not the right for me. I will talk to the dentist next time about it. I already have sent him an email last week to tell him about some patterns that he should know about and now I am waiting for the answer (he is out of office this week). Maybe his answer will have some feedback about how it went in it. At the next appointment I will talk this through too and also try some grounding techniques to keep myself from 'walking away' mentally. And ok, won't try to fill in the blanks.. not trying to fill in the blanks.. gonna let them be.. not easy, but gonna resist that temptation..

It's so reassuring to get feedback from someone, who went through all of that and have 'made it'.
Thank you all so much!