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Feeling pathetic, fearful and super anxious



Sep 17, 2015
I found this forum a little over a year ago and it was very helpful.

I found the courage to go to the dentist after a long hiatus and managed to handle two fillings and (to my utter initial horror!!!!!!) a tooth extraction.

The extraction was actually far less horrible than I had envisioned. I posted about the experience hoping it night help others. After the procdeure, I told myself 'in six months I'll go back and look at implant options')...

Shortly after that, I started a relationship which sadly later became very difficult and, in the end, abusive. I managed to leave but was emotionally distraught and my anxiety levels went through the roof. I have over the last 4 months put all my energy into trying to deal with the break up whilst continuing to work. In such a stressed out and unhappy state, I could not face going to the dentist.

I have discovered this week a deep chip in my (filled) tooth and also started getting some pain in another tooth... I am preparing to gather my courage and book an appointment. I feel so weepy and fearful of it. My confidence and self esteem feels so diminished by the fall out of this relationship that I'm worried I might cry or have a panic attack. My dentist specialises with nervous patients but I still can't bear the idea of going. The idea of more fillings, starting the process of an implant (seems so long winded and scary), even having a clean and polish makes me feel sick.

I feel angry at myself as well, I thought I had conquered my fear and now I feel pathetic and back to square one. It is all mixed up in the emotional abuse I suffered which has totally battered my self worth.

Not even sure why I'm posting, just hoping for some support and advice on how to calm down and go through with it.

Thanks xx
I think you should try to make the appointment to get the chip checked out and the tooth causing you pain. The implant can probably wait. Just take one thing at a time. Explain to your dentist how overwhelmed you have been in general. No need to go into details. This way he or she will know you need some extra patience and cooperation. The two of you together can come up with a strategy to get the work done without pushing you too far. The feelings you are having are normal and the breakup can easily affect other areas of your life that you wouldn't think they would. Try to make baby steps even if they are teeny tiny ones. :there-there:
Hi there!

Don't feel bad about your fears, you are not pathetic.

I'm afraid of a lot of things, including the dentist. I suffer from really bad panic attacks and just a general phobia to anything, almost to the point to never go out (a few years ago)
Eventually i learn how to get around this fears, how to beat them. But they're always there, they never go.

So, you feeling fearfull it's normal. You need to face the fear and you'll win. You did this once, and you can do it again.

Just go step by step, and you'll be proud of yourself all the way.
Thank you for such kind replies and good advice!

I called this morning and booked an appointment, which feels like a hurdle in itself. I'm trying to see it as a way of taking back control, and a positive thing.

I will post again once I've been for the consultation.

Thanks again xx
Yes! I was just reading the thread and wanted to say exactly that - think about this is as being able to take care of yourself, as something you are doing that's just for you, as something that you are saying yes to (not something being done to you without your consent), as a positive thing. When I started going to the dentist (nearly 9 years ago) after a very long period of not going, it was after I had escaped a very emotionally abusive, non-romantic relationship (complicate and long story) that I had been in for almost a decade. For me, going to the dentist really became integral to my healing because it was one of the very first things I did for me to take care of myself. It was terrifying to go and to get all the work done that I needed doing, but it proved to be a major part of my healing from the abuse.

All the best and please let us know how it goes!
Thank you so much! That really does make sense. Self care is so important in order to heal. I'm glad you got out of a toxic relationship, too.