- Sep 10, 2009
I have PTSD -- post traumatic stress disorder -- from serving as apeacekeeper for almost 10 years.
I did manage through support from this forum to get to a dentist I thinkthree years ago (I know the fact that I'm not even sure is part of theproblem).
While I did manage to sit through x-rays, that was all I was able toaccomplish. I never went back. Partly from sheer fear and partly because I hadsuch a damn hard time just managing the x-rays alone, I felt humiliated by myover reaction when it's not like I even had any treatment or anything done.
I had two strong male friends accompany me, for support and also, to behonest, to keep me from accidentally losing my shit on the dentist if I wastriggered.
I know I need to go back. I know this because I actually risked self-surgerya few weeks ago rather than book an appointment and have it looked after safely.I know this must be a huge red flag for phobics when you feel so have to resortto such dangerous extremes just to feel safe.
And despite the numerous and dangerous reasons why self-surgery is not safe(dealing with an abscess) which I cannot claim I am ignorant to, I really feltlike that was the safer route than attending a dentist.
Because 1: I’m afraid of the dentist. 2: Even if I went in to get the abscesslooked at, draining it doesn’t actually remedy the problem and therefore, Iwould get the bad news from the dentist that the treatment wouldn’t be over andI would have to subject myself to more treatment. 3: From the x-rays, I’m sureI would have been informed to all the other treatment I would need.
And the onslaught of this news would have made me feel unsafe, and I wouldhave lost my shit.
This said, anyone with PTSD is hyper-vigilant about safety. That’s all Ineed. But I don’t even know how to bring this up to my dentist so they wouldactually understand what I mean (and not misunderstand me and see me as acoward, I mean, I know I am a coward, I just don’t want it told to my face)when I don’t even know what safety at the dentist means.