Finally caught up with dental work

[Anne2023]

Today I had my first dental cleaning in six years. After decades of dental phobia controlling my life, for the first time in at least 18 years, I don't have any fillings or other dental work that I am avoiding. I have some teeth that are sensitive that I may eventually lose since I don't do root canals, but right now today - I have no dental work that I need to do and I have gotten my teeth cleaning done! I know I'll have to go back and will likely need more work at some point and deal with my fears at that point, but today I feel free. Thank you to all of you on this forum whose stories have been an encouragement and to Gordon for answering so many questions.

 

[MagicDuck12]

The bit I struggle most with though is you aren't free are you?

If you are proactive and consistent in your approach you'll be going back again and again and again. Forever.

What do you do when you go back the next time and something is wrong with you? There's not some magic button (in my experience) where it all just magically rights itself and your next extraction/deep clean/root canal is a piece of cake. It's forever.

Are people saying that by going back again, and again, and again forever that you just become immune to injections, drilling, noises and sensations?

It seems to me that's the only way to beat the fear is basically just continually be subjected to it.

Sorry to be on a downer but my mental health isn't great right now and this is a big part of it.

 

[Anne2023]

@MagicDuck12 I understand. Yes, you're right that I'm not free for good. Do you become immune to it all? No. The next time I need a deep filling or an extraction, I will have to face the phobia again, but the last filling I had - about a month ago - went very well. My anticipatory anxiety was lower and it just generally went better all around. I hope to have less deep fillings and extractions by being more careful and getting things addressed early. I don't do root canals due to the fear and expense and my own family's failed root canals, but I have accepted that and moved on. If a tooth needs a root canal, I extract.

The way I have been handling my fear since April is that I started asking myself - what would I do if I didn't have this obsessive fear? And then I do it. I had the dentist look at a tooth that had symptoms in April. It had a deep cavity and the dentist offered to do it right then and there instead of putting in on the calendar since she knew that I had a hard time with the anticipatory anxiety. I asked myself what I would do if I weren't phobic and I said yes. She did it that day. That was a good turning point for me. So am I cured and fear-free? No. But at least for now this approach is working for me. Isn't that life though? These bodies break down in more ways than dental, and I'm learning it's just about getting through each problem or crisis. Maybe I've lowered my expectations of life. Now I'm getting too philosophical.

The freedom I am having right now is knowing that nothing is hanging over my head that needs to be done - I am not avoiding today. As far back as 2006, I know I needed fillings that I did not get. In the 18 years since, I have had the weight of knowing that I always had work that needed to be done that I wasn't doing and I was just putting out fires - getting a filling here and there when it got so big I got scared to lose the tooth or waiting so long I lost teeth - 8 extractions since 2009. But for the next six months or until a tooth creates new symptoms and needs attention before then - I have no weight of avoidance on my shoulders. And that does feel good today.

 

[MagicDuck12]

@MagicDuck12 I understand. Yes, you're right that I'm not free for good. Do you become immune to it all? No. The next time I need a deep filling or an extraction, I will have to face the phobia again, but the last filling I had - about a month ago - went very well. My anticipatory anxiety was lower and it just generally went better all around. I hope to have less deep fillings and extractions by being more careful and getting things addressed early. I don't do root canals due to the fear and expense and my own family's failed root canals, but I have accepted that and moved on. If a tooth needs a root canal, I extract.

The way I have been handling my fear since April is that I started asking myself - what would I do if I didn't have this obsessive fear? And then I do it. I had the dentist look at a tooth that had symptoms in April. It had a deep cavity and the dentist offered to do it right then and there instead of putting in on the calendar since she knew that I had a hard time with the anticipatory anxiety. I asked myself what I would do if I weren't phobic and I said yes. She did it that day. That was a good turning point for me. So am I cured and fear-free? No. But at least for now this approach is working for me. Isn't that life though? These bodies break down in more ways than dental, and I'm learning it's just about getting through each problem or crisis. Maybe I've lowered my expectations of life. Now I'm getting too philosophical.

The freedom I am having right now is knowing that nothing is hanging over my head that needs to be done - I am not avoiding today. As far back as 2006, I know I needed fillings that I did not get. In the 18 years since, I have had the weight of knowing that I always had work that needed to be done that I wasn't doing and I was just putting out fires - getting a filling here and there when it got so big I got scared to lose the tooth or waiting so long I lost teeth - 8 extractions since 2009. But for the next six months or until a tooth creates new symptoms and needs attention before then - I have no weight of avoidance on my shoulders. And that does feel good today.

Lovely post. I really did like the part about the anticipatory anxiety too and I feel that not having time to stew on things helps.

I think my mindset needs to shift to a perspective of "the greater good".... It's hard to see it that way but the "greater good" of regular small work beats a long pause and then nasty surprises at the end of it.

Keep up the good work