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Finally doing this

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Danny Oliver

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Elda
I guess my story is very similar to other people. As a child, I had a RCT and the anesthesia didn't work as well as it should, so I was in terrible pain during the procedure. It must have stuck, because I developed an acute fear of dentists. Luckily I never had bad teeth nor ate too many sweets, so I didn't get another cavity until I was 18. This one was very painful and I went to the dentist to have it fixed, after some coaxing from my parents. I was terrified, I had a panic attack in the clinic, and the staff was less than kind about it, so I got my antibiotics and left. I tried again in another clinic, but the same thing more or less happened, plus my stepfather mocked me for being afraid, so after a very bitter fight (my family and I have had a very difficult relationship) I told my family I would fix it without their help. It wouldn't have mattered, anyway, since both my mom and my stepfather got fired, it was the recession years, and we lost our home. It never got mentioned again.

For years after that I dealt with terrible pain, both because of my phobia and because I hardly could pay my own food. My father, who is mostly absent from my life after all the damage he's done, refused to help with any money, while he got implants for him and his wife. Meanwhile I got another cavity, and suffered in silence while they got bigger, more painful, more scary. I feared for my life, feeling I would die of an infection. For a long time I acted as though I would die young, because in my mind, I would. I guess I'm paranoid like that.

Then I met my future husband. After 5 years of relationship we're about ready to have a family and marry and those good things. I realized I could not do that and not fix my mouth. I could not have children while thinking I could be sick any moment. I could not get pregnant and risk an infection hurting my baby. I couldn't plan for the future, so that too was put off, but it bugged me. It was the seed for change. Two days ago I got the worst pain to date. It felt like it was spreading to my ears, and finally this morning, I could not take it anymore. I made the call. The nurse was super nice to me, she said not to worry, that they would walk me through everything and that she would not leave my side. I booked an appointment for this evening. After the call I cried, both from nerves and fear, and from relief.

I went, my fiance was with me all the time, and so was the nurse. The dentist was kind too, incredibly so, and seemed very competent, I am elated.

I need a couple back molars pulled and some minor cavities filled, mostly because they are small but they don't want them to get bigger. I told them I was concerned about the cost, as I hardly can make ends meet as things are right now, but they told me not to worry, the procedures I need done most urgently (the pullings) are affordable, and the rest of the work is not urgent so we can do it at a pace that takes my budget into consideration.

I am right now in pain but I feel better than I have felt in ages. I feel silly for feeling so proud of myself. On monday I'm having the first tooth pulled. I hope I can make it through.
 
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ReginaPhalange

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2018
Messages
178
Location
UK
Well done!! It's not silly at all, you have every right to feel proud of yourself. I'm glad they were kind and competent.

Hope it goes well next week :)
 
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Danny Oliver

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Elda
Well done!! It's not silly at all, you have every right to feel proud of yourself. I'm glad they were kind and competent.

Hope it goes well next week :)
Thanks for your kind reply. It means a lot. I am so nervous, scared and excited at the same time..
 
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ReginaPhalange

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2018
Messages
178
Location
UK
I know the feeling. But you've got through the biggest step, getting started. And it sounds like there's not too much to get done considering everything you've been through and expected. You'll do great! :thumbsup!:
 
kitkat

kitkat

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 27, 2006
Messages
1,562
Location
United States
Danny it sounds like for the first time, you are with people who are very concerned about your comfort and wellbeing. It sounds like you are in very good hands! You should feel very proud of yourself for embarking on this journey to getting things sorted with your teeth. The more times you have treatment with the right dentist, the more you will build trust in them and feel confident in their abilities. Stick with it, it will get easier! Well done!
 
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Danny Oliver

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Elda
Thank you for your kindness. I sure hope it gets easier. Even as good as they were to me, I was near tears all the time.
 
kitkat

kitkat

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Messages
1,562
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Thank you for your kindness. I sure hope it gets easier. Even as good as they were to me, I was near tears all the time.
And that’s okay and really to be expected considering your past experiences! It sounds like there is a good deal of trauma surrounding your past dental experiences and that doesn’t just go away over night. Be patient with yourself and relish in the small victories!
 
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Danny Oliver

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Elda
As the day for the extraction gets closer, I am getting more restless. The bad tooth is causing me grief, I can't sleep and I can hardly deal at work. I'm a waitress, so weekends are my most busy days, so no resting. Maybe that's good, no time to overthink things. I think I still don't fully believe I'm doing this, and I get at turns excited that this tooth will never hurt again, and scared that the procedure will hurt too much. I'm a mess. Anyway, thanks to everyone for reading this and for your kind words, I have been lurking in this forum for ages, and seeing other people telling their fears and overcoming them gave me hope, but your words of reassurance gave me strength.
 
kitkat

kitkat

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Messages
1,562
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Just think about how relieved and proud you will feel after the tooth is finally taken care of. :cloud9: Staying busy is probably for the best in the meantime. Waiting really is the hardest part.
 
Dg6300

Dg6300

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
637
Location
US
Bravo! Such courage.

You have already come a long way. You got this.

Keep us posted.
 
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LittleLynnie

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 22, 2016
Messages
262
Location
Canada
Go, Danny, Go! I can't wait to hear how much better you feel after the tooth is out!
 
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Danny Oliver

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Elda
Tomorrow is the big day. I get nauseous when I think about it. The antibiotics I got prescribed are doing their job, and I'm not so much in pain. On the one hand, that's good, no pain, but on the other hand, now that the pain is not so dire, I get the urge to skip the extraction. My boyfriend won't let me, he's going to make sure I make it to the clinic and get things fixed, but the urge is there. I'm exhausted of feeling like this, so scared all the time. I wonder if there will come a day when I don't feel afraid anymore.
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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Jul 26, 2017
Messages
2,768
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Minneapolis, MN
Danny,

I'm glad to hear the antibiotics are working and you are not in as much pain! Going through with an extraction is great courage for sure , its hard.... I know the feeling of just wanting to ditch and run . and the thoughts ahead of time are so hard.. I just had an extraction 2 weeks ago and was so scared, I thought about ditching to the point the dentist came in and started really.. now 2 weeks later its feeling and looking alot better , there are tiems I still think.. what did I do? but in the end will be worth it. Its hard.. I'm glad you have support!! and really hope it all goes well, let us know how it goes..I think the more you face your fears the less power they have over you.. and you are facing them and doing a great job at it!!
 
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Danny Oliver

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Elda
I'm in the waiting area right now. I had a panic attack at home, I could hardly breathe and I felt like I was dying, but I managed to get it under control somehow and walk myself to the dentist. It didn't help that I was alone because my fiance had an appointment of his own with his doctor, and he couldn't skip it. Right now I'm trembling like a leaf and teary eyed, but hopefully next time I write the painful tooth will be gone, and I will be ok. It doesn't feel like it will at the moment, it feels like I'm walking into the slaughterhouse and like there will be no after. I'm absolutely terrified.Thanks for reading and being here, it means the world to me.
 
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ReginaPhalange

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2018
Messages
178
Location
UK
Well done for making it this far, I really believe the worst is over and that it can only get better from now on. It's taken so much courage to push through. It will be worth it! :grouphug:
 
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Danny Oliver

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Elda
Well done for making it this far, I really believe the worst is over and that it can only get better from now on. It's taken so much courage to push through. It will be worth it! :grouphug:
Thank you so much.
 
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Danny Oliver

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Elda
So, done. It was fast and it barely hurt,mostly the shot. I think now that I have a normal, not awful experience under my belt, I can deal with things better. I'm still shaking but I feel so good about myself now.
 
kitkat

kitkat

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Joined
Mar 27, 2006
Messages
1,562
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Well done! You actually did it! Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery! You should feel very proud of yourself!
 
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