• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

Finally went to the dentist...still anxious



Junior member
Jul 9, 2018
Hi all,

After 8 years I finally went to the dentist this past Monday. I was tired of letting this fear win and wanted to go before anything got really bad. I have bad buildup on the right side of my mouth that has been causing gum swelling and bleeding which definitely pushed me to go. I was a mess at the dentist (crying and shaking nonstop) but he told me I have 3 cavities and need a deep cleaning. You’d think I’d feel better but I’ve now convinced myself the dentist lied and it’s worse than what he told me - even though he physically went through my x-rays with me and showed me everything from when I last went to now.

I’m going on 3/9 to have my cavities drilled and the deep cleaning done (the side with the buildup is the side with the cavities so I’ll be numb). How do I get over this fear that he lied? Has anyone else experienced this irrational thought? I feel like I should be feeling great that it’s not as bad as I thought it’d be but instead my mind has found something else to grab on to. Feeling really defeated today all.

Thanks for listening.
Hi, well done for getting to the dentist and making a plan to get treatment you need. I totally understand you not believing the dentist. It would make sense as fear can make things seem worse than they are, it can do the opposite too, where we deny pain etc. All I can say is, can you try trusting? Maybe think about the idea that they might be right and right now all that needs treating is what has been told to you? Do you have symptoms that make you think more is needed? Or do you think it’s your fear talking?
Hi scaredsw,

first of all very well done on going, give yourself a huge pat on your back for this.

I can relate to your fear and for my part, after having worked with my dentist for more than a year I am still expecting him to suddenly reveal the real treatment plan with all the extractions and root canal treatments that I really need although I know it‘s not true. Another thing your post reminds me of is that I expected to get rid of my anxiety much faster than I did and was suprisied about how slowly things went. And last but not least I often felt really beaten up after an appointment and saw more problems or things that didn‘t go well instead of celebrating what was well.

As Sally suggests, it‘s about trust and trust needs to be build. It‘s also about expectation and what you think you should be feeling or not. Seeing a dentist after 8 years is a huge achievment and the start of things so it‘s ok if you don‘t feel great yet and if you don‘t fully trust or believe your dentist yet. My suggestion would be to give things some time and focus on the achievment which seeing a dentist was. If you, after several further visits still feel like something is wrong, you can think of how to deal with it.

All the best wishes
Look at you, demonstrating such courage. Well done.

Good luck on the 9th. Keep us posted.
Just wanted to say GREAT JOB! Since I joined this forum VERY recently, I have taken a lot of comfort in knowing other people in the world who are terrified are also beginning/continuing after a long pause their dental journey. I basically am just starting mine also with SO MUCH FEAR. I have a deep cleaning and three cavities being filled in a few weeks. Hoping it goes well for both of us! Thinking good thoughts your way.
How do I get over this fear that he lied?
The only thing that I can think of is that if you needed more done, he would potentially make more money from you, so why would he lie and say you need less work than you do?

Hope you start feeling better about it soon. I know I was surprised that I didn't need more work than I do. Root canals, deep cleaning and fillings. It's still quite a lot, but after more than 20 years, I expected at least some extractions too.

All the best!
Thank you so much everyone. I agree that I need to trust that he didn’t lie. My back gum bleeds sometimes but I have bad buildup on the back molar and I know they’re related. I know he would’ve seen something on my X-ray if it was there. He even showed me each tooth on the X-ray when he marked off previous work and work needed. It’s so encouraging to see you all root for me and tell me how you got through this. I can only hope that from here it’ll get better.

Well done for making the appointment. Sounds like your dentist is a keeper.
Please feel free to explore my website TreatYourDentalFear.com
I believe it will do you good, it is mainly about to communicate with a dentist in order to develop trustful relationship. It sounds like you have great potential with your dentist.

Keep us updated.