First dental appointment in 8 years .. can't cope with the thought!

[Carys]

Oh I'm sorry, that doesn't read as a very positive experience. Was this dentist found via a recommendation ? or did you just do your own search for them ?

Do you think you are going to be able to work with this dentist on all the work that needs doing, I',m not sure it sounds like you feel you can ?

You were SO BRAVE as well !!!

 

[lastchance]

Oh dear he doesn't sound very nice at all. Remember you choose who you see, so maybe you would be happier trying someone else. Can you ask around for any recommendations? The nhs website also allows you to search for dentists who specialise in dental anxiety which is how I found my dentist.
On a brighter note well done you! Not all visits will be that overwhelming

 

[beech23]

Thanks for such nice words. I found him via a search on the nhs webpage and then I had liked the look of their webpage (they had a section on nervous patients). Carole I live in London - I will try Asda for those!

One one hand I feel like, proud. Proud I went finally no matter how the outcome was I still got myself to the practise and put myself in the chair.

But on reflection now I just feel so frustrated with the whole experience. I wish I hadnt brought their toothbrush. I wish I had some sorta proper plan of action beyond a visit to the hygienest. If my teeth are in such bad condition for my age as he says, surely I need a proper plan of action.

I think I am gonna have to find a new dentist. The more I think of the experience I feel like he was just getting the appointment over with quickly rather than actually caring for my needs. Also it just feels unethical that they try to sell me things on the first appointment.

I am currently googling to try and find a new dentist to try. Cant believe I will have to make 'the call' again.

 

[carole]

Whatever make of toothbrush they sold you Asda might have the heads to fit it. Look out for offers they do some really good ones you can keep looking on their website.
I will say I agree with you and your last comments about needing a plan of action.
A plan of action that will help you is, here goes.
Get up, first thing brush with elec toothbrush (when you are able to charge it). Rinse mouth with salt water 2 or 3 times a day.
Chew gum after eating as this helps to clean teeth.
Use the floss or interdental brushes at least once a day. (I do mine after I've eaten every time)
Before getting into bed brush teeth with elec brush.
Doing these things will improve your mouth, this is what my dentist told me and it works, because in Sept 2011 I got my now dentist and he told me I had peridontal disease, I was supposed to see the hygienest in Dec 2011 and have a check up again. When I saw him in Dec, I didn't have to see the hygienest because there was some improvement, he told me to carry on with what I was doing.
In the meantime until you can use your new toothbrush gentle circular movements with you manual toothbrush will work. You shouldn't brush hard as this can damage gums.
He was correct about the elec toothbrush they are better at cleaning than manual.
Try e mailing dentists that you can get to and see who gets back to you. Tell them you just want a check up and explain how nervous you are. Even when you meet the dentist don't let him do anything other than have a look and see how you feel. If you feel he understands you and feel that you can work with him, and feel comfortable doing so, then you can decide together on a plan of action.
If you got the toothpaste and mouth wash he prescribed it won't harm to use it.
I find sensodyne toothpaste does my teeth very nicely and stops them being sensitive.
I hope this helps a little bit. Don't get disheartened you did extremely well, I would have been out of there kicking and screaming never to return. Don't dwell on the fact that you wish you hadn't got their brush at least you can use it. It just cost a little more. By the way I am an NHS patient and I have a wonderful dentist. Stay hopeful it's only a little glitch, you will find the right one for you.

 

[lastchance]

At least you know you can do it this time around. And you should feel so proud of yourself! I'm sure if you find someone who can work with you better then you'll get a much more definite plan of action. Until then, as carol said focus on your brushing, mouthwash routine etc it will make a difference for when you visit another dentist.

 

[coolin]

It might be an idea - if you have the energy - to write to the practice to tell them what you thought of your experience there. This is probably how they are with everyone and don't realise what a bad impression they cause and the harm they do to people who are dental phobics.
Good luck in finding a new dentist. I think a few people on here have had false starts in finding a good dentist - but there is one gem out there just waiting for you

 

[beech23]

Thanks for the kind words and advice guys!

I have a small positive to share. I sent off some emails this morning to one or two practices around, I was very nervous typing and didn't address everything I wish I had of however I did get the general point accross.

And after just checking my email I already have a reply from one dentist who sounds quite nice. She did not really pick up on how nervous I am but I am already appreciating the effort she had taken to reply on a Sunday evening!

 

[carole]

I am so pleased for you.
The toothpaste that the other dentist gave you, my sister has that prescribed too and she won't use anything else.
You can e mail as many times with the dentist that has got back to you and explain before you go.
I agree with you I think the fact that they have e mailed you on a Sunday is a good sign.
You can arrange an appointment and say that you would like a check up without the probe, if they wouldn't mind, and if you mention that you don't feel that you could cope with anything more happening on your first visit would that be possible.
See what comes back. If you stick to e mails until you feel confident then make an appointment as soon as possible, then you're not dwelling on the last and not getting too worked up about the next.
How are you getting on with your toothbrush?
I wish you all the luck and my best wishes.
Keep us posted it you can. I have everything crossed for you.

 

[mcgyver74]

Surprised he gave you a hard time about the iPod, This does not sound like a good Dentist, and I agree it's time to find another one who will treat you with respect. when I went to my dentist for the first time in 20 years this past Wed, I had bought a set of Video goggles so I could watch movies off my iPhone and not see anything going on, I didn't need them as I wasn't really getting anything other then an exam but my Dentist loved them and wanted to know where I got them so he could get a set for his extreme phobic patients.


Glad you are taking the first steps to conquering your fear, I am still walking that road myself (Had 4 wisdom teeth extracted this past Friday)

 

[brit]

If the toothbrush has not been used, I would demand a refund.
I am pretty sure forcing patients to buy electric toothbrushes at overinflated prices does not fall within the GDC codes of ethics for any dentists let alone NHS dentists.
Definitely send a letter of complaint to the practice asking for a refund and see what happens.

If your gums are really sore, insist that you be numbed for cleaning:

What happens during a dental cleaning (scale and polish)?

Dental cleanings involve removing plaque (soft, sticky, bacteria infested film) and tartar (calculus) deposits that have built up on the teeth over time. Your teeth are continually bathed in saliva. Your saliva contains calcium and other substances which help strengthen and protect the teeth...

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Sorry you had such a rough start on your dental journey , I would not go back there but I would try to get a refund.

 

[beech23]

I send some more emails tonight. I think I came to a firm decision tonight that I simply cannot go back to that dentist. I think it will just do more damage than good. Emailed around some more tonight and will hopefully get some replies soon!

Getting on okay with the toothbrush Carole, though I am struggling to use the interdental brushes - I have the smallest size but they just dont seem to insert between my teeth at all and Im scared to force them in the chance I make teeth lose.

I feel now like I just want to get it over with after last Fridays visit. I spent alot of today telling myself I can just let it go again for another couple of years but I know in myself that the ongoing issue isnt going anywhere so I may as well just try face it in the present.

I might down the line write a letter to the dentist complaining, or perhaps to the local trust in the area althought Im not ready to do that just yet.

 

[carole]

I understand exactly how you feel being treated horrible by a previous dentist myself. Don't give up. Things will work out in the end, it might take a bit to get there but you will find another dentist.
You won't make your teeth loose but I know how you feel. Maybe for the time being if you try some floss it might be better for you.
You can get floss that is like string that you wrap around your fingers and slide it up inbetween you teeth. Or you can get flossers which is the same thing but on a plastic thing, it's hard to explain these but if you look in boots or your local supermarket you will see them. Even your local chemist will probably have them.
Floss or flossers are easier to use than the brushes. Don't force the interdental brushes.
Maybe if you leave these on the side for now and get some of the rubber ones I told you about, they feel kinder to use, and easier.
I only started with the flossing and using dental brushes in the last 5 months, I was too frightened to even consider them before. Once you get used to them, you wonder how you managed without them.
You don't need to use both the floss and interdental brushes and dentists seem to prefer using floss, but I do use both I have become a maniac and everybody is saying I have become obsessed with my teeth.
I spoke with my sister and I asked her about the toothpaste you have, that she is using and has for a long time. The toothpaste would cost her £4.00 per tube, she pays yearly in advance for her prescriptions so it works out cheaper for her as she has other medication.
Anyway I digress, she gets her dentist to prescribe three tubes on the prescription so that if she paid for individual prescriptions, it would only cost her the one fee and because it is the same thing so it is classed as one item.
You don't rinse all of the toothpaste away when you brush because you want some left on to do the work. If she gets sore gums she puts a bit of toothpaste on her finger and rubs it around her gums. You could try this, as well as brushing.
Keep going don't give up I know it's hard, I will always be here for you if you need to get it off your chest or whatever I can help with.
Stay positive don't let one horrible man and nurse get you down.

 

[brit]

To avoid damage, I would suggest you use floss, if the gaps are tight buy a thinner floss - they do vary a lot even though to your eye they all look a similar size. Waxed is also usually easier.

Also an immediate professional cleaning (painless) would be a great way to start and then you maintain that position - much harder for you to brush/floss well when residues are still present. (However well you brushed yourself before there will usually be residues - hence why a basic clean every 6 months is usually a good idea for most people).

It may be necessary to pay for a private clean and then switch to NHS in maintenance mode as the basic NHS offering covers a very basic clean only in England and Wales 'if deemed necessary' by the dentist.

Don't let one bad experience put you off. Whereabouts are you? check on the dentistsfinder for your area.ww.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/forumdisplay.php?33-Dentist-Reviews-and-Recommendations

If you are in an email chat with a potential dentist, explain that you know your gums need attention and that you would like to have oraquix/local anaesthetic at first for this. Say you have always brushed and done the best you could but in so many years you realise there is stuff that can only be dealt with by a dentist/hygienist.
Best wishes - there is someone out there for you.

 

[beech23]

Thanks for the words of encouragement!

The dentist I saw last week said I had to visit their hygienist privately which I agreed too do but he said I had to wait at least 2 weeks to see her and have the use of the toothpaste for two weeks? That was the only thing he recommended two hygienist visits for the time being. But that doesn't matter as I wont be going back to him.

Im in Fulham - I overheard a recommendation at work for an NHS only dentist in close to where I live so I summoned up the courage to phone them just there and again got hit with the nerves on the phone. The receptionist seemed quite nice but busy. He gave me an appointment on Thursday at 5! Thursday !! I cant believe he had one so soon, I was shocked. I took it though because I want to start this journey before I bottle out of it. I lost all my thoughts and questions which was silly but at least I have the appointment made. Progress.

I think Ill buy some floss next time Im near a shop and leave the interdental brushes to the side for the time being, the stress if them is just not worth it!

 

[carole]

Look at you. You have come so far from the first time you wrote on here wanting support to attend the dreaded first appointment. Now you've dismissed one dentist and found another in such a short time. Way to go, You go girl

I wish you luck for Thursday and I will cross everything for you what time is the appointment?

When you go in to see the dentist just tell him you are very nervous, before you sit down just say that you have finally found the courage to see a dentist after so many years, and that you have just experienced a rather unsettling appointment and would he just be kind enough to just have a look, for that day. You can explain that you have recently purchased an elec toothbrush, no need to go into details unless you feel you want to, and tell him that you have the toothpaste that was prescribed. You can only get it on prescription from a dentist, so he will be aware of it.

I think this one will go fine. I'll be looking on here with anticipation on Thurs night to see how you did. I am so pleased for you. How brave you are being. You can do it.

If you need any support I am here as I am sure other people will be rooting for you.
Finally if you don't feel comfortable with this dentist you don't have to have anything done, not even a look. You stay in charge and decide.

 

[beech23]

Aw Carole and others thanks for the support.

The nerves for tomorrow are really starting to tumble in again. I am so afraid of a new dentist but I know I can do it again. I have to. I really really want to sort this out. I feel sick at the thought of evening another another dentist having a look.

I feel even more emotional I think tonight than I did the last night before an appointment. I reflected though on what I expected and what I got in the last appointment and I am going to try and ensure I have some sort of concrete plan of action in place on leaving tomorrow. I also hope I just have the courage to speak up when I am there and not just ask but make them stop if things are uncomfortable

Its at 5 o clock, later than I would have liked but getting such a quick appointment I guess was lucky.

Ill let you know how it goes, it has to be better!!

 

[carole]

Hello beech23
I've been waiting to hear how you are coping. Just remember it's your mouth.
Just because somebody has a job title doesn't mean they can do what they want in it.
I will cross everything as I said before and I will think about you when you are there.
You have done really well to go to another dentist so soon, see it as a war with your teeth, you are bigger than them and you intend to win. I know they are tricky little devils at times and give us stress, but we can do it.
I sound really brave giving you advice but believe me I still get colly wobbles in my stomach when I have to go.
Remember to let the dentist know you can only cope with a look on this first visit if that's how you feel.
Which dentist are you going to, do they have a website, so we can have a nosey.

When I first needed a root canal I went straight into total mind numbing panic, I couldn't speak, I couldn't think, my feet were stuck to the spot where I was stood. My dentist was really good and said he would make an appointment for the following week, but before I left he just talked to me for about half an hour.

I am telling you this because, by him allowing me to escape as I saw it until the following week, when I got home I just thought if he cares about my tooth to give me half an hour of his time doing nothing but talk, when he could have just pulled the tooth, (which I did say I would choose because I couldn't sit through a root canal) he also said he could cope with my nerves and do the treatment, and he said it with a smile.

I thought to myself then I can care and do it, I did shake and I don't know how I got to the practice and then into the surgery, but I did and it was fine, quite boring in a weird kind of way.
I had a long standing infection and it has been a battle and a half to try and save my tooth. I have had 7 lots of antibiotics from Sept 2011 up to just after Christmas, I feel I have fought a war with my mouth with my dentists help and I will continue to do so.
I WISH YOU LUCK FOR TOMORROW. I hope I haven't babbled on too much.

 

[beech23]

They dont have a webpage Carole unfortunately, Id love someone to give me a second opinion if they had of!

I am trying to see it as a war, I think bad teeth or poor oral health really affects mentally in a subconsious way and now I am consious to the problem I really dont want to let it get worse. I like your idea of thinking of it as a war, I have to battle it and win!

I really appreciate hearing your story, it sounds like you have just totally gained control of your dental situation and have found the best match of a dentist. I really aspire to be in the position one day!

I will let you know how it goes tomorrow evening, it really can only get better from the last appointment!

I am trying to relax tonight, its on my mind every second but I just keep thinking how would I feel if I choose not to go tomorrow and I just know it would feel ten times worse than it will walking into the surgery tomorrow! I can do this!

 

[carole]

The things you gained from the last app are you have a good new toothbrush, and the toothpaste and mouthwash are a good thing as well, and you did that first visit after all those years, so these are steps forward.
Also the last dentist and his nurse educated you in what you don't want to, and won't tolerate.

The dentist you are seeing tomorrow you have heard an opinion about already. What did the receptionist sound like.

I think my war is starting again after the New Year I got a lump red and sore on another tooth not connected with the other treatment I had so I had to go back and got more antibiotics they made me feel a bit ill, I was a bit fed up of them as well after so many, but needs must.

It went away but my dentist did say even if it went, it could and probably would come back which means another root canal. It doesn't feel quite right and I think it is coming back, so it looks like I'm on my way back to see him. I also have a bridge that I'm worried about so I may well need your support soon.
At least I'm in the right place here. I'm not stressing yet though. My dentist is very good and I have every faith in him. Brave words, that I mean, but I still get a bit nervous.

I am just so determined my teeth will not beat me, like I say I HAVE DECLARED WAR ON MY TEETH.

 

[Carys]

I really aspire to be in the position one day!

yeah, me too !

Good luck Beech, I bet you anything it goes much better than last time.