• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

First dental appt. in 14 years

R

Ryleeranger

Junior member
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
4
Location
CA
I have severe dental anxiety and have avoided going for 14 years! I’ve lost a ton of sleep dreading the day I would eventually go. I’ve read these forums in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep but never registered an account because I didn’t want to admit that I, too, suffer from dental anxiety.

I have 3 young children and let 3 years go by before taking them to the dentist because I was afraid FOR them. The guilt was gut wrenching and when one of my daughters had a tooth break due to an undiagnosed cavity, I knew I needed to break free from this anxiety. She had a series of appointments for two extractions, a baby root canal and a handful of cavities filled. I had no idea her teeth were that bad, all looked fine on the surface. It was my fault that she had to endure so much treatment and boy did I punish myself hard for it. She has dental anxiety as well and I’m certain that I passed that on to her.

I took my other two children to the dentist last week and thank goodness their teeth are fine with no cavities. They both were so brave and that is when I realized that I needed to be brave, too.

After spending many hours researching and emailing doctors that say they specialize in treating anxious patients, I decided to bite the bullet and make an appointment. I was nearly in tears telling my new dentist how afraid and embarrassed I was. I’ve never met a dentist as compassionate and gentle as this one! He promised not to do anything I didn’t want him to do and suggested we start with him just taking a look in my mouth with no tools in hand. Opening my mouth and letting him look in was such a huge step and gave me so much relief! He complimented my healthy gums and asked if I’d be okay with a full set of xrays. The dental assistant was also very understanding and talked me through each picture she took. Just amazing.

I am happy to say that I only have two small surface cavities and I need my wisdom teeth removed at some point. They don’t bother me yet but two are partially impacted so I will get them out before they start causing any issues. I can honestly say that my mind told me I’d at least need a root canal, maybe some extractions, and I thought I’d have quite a few cavities. My irrational mind really messed with me! I will get both cavities taken care of next week and they will do a cleaning at the same time. I don’t feel nervous about this appointment at all because I am focusing hard on the relief I will feel when it’s over.

For those of you still struggling to make an appointment, just take a deep breath and do it! I promise you, you will feel so wonderful after taking that first step. I used the email script on this site to email a few local docs and I ultimately went with the one that thought he could help me. I think the biggest part of my anxiety was the embarrassment of not seeing a dentist in 14 years so breaking the ice with the email really helped.

I hope that anyone reading this feels comforted knowing that your first visit will likely not be as bad as you are picturing. My anxiety was all in my head and I’m so mad that I let it control my life for so long but I’m hopeful that I’ve turned a new leaf and will no longer neglect my dental health.
 
Look at you. Well done.

Soon dental anxiety is going to be afraid of you!
 
:welcome: and :welldone:

I was very similar, except I left it longer than 14 years, and I did need root canals etc. But I can honestly say making the first appointment has been the worst part so far. Getting through the door was nerve wracking too (I'd hate to see what my handwriting was like when I was filling in the forms!), but as soon as I met the dentist I felt so much more at ease than I had for years.

I hope everything goes well with you and that both you and your daughter get over the anxiety. With good experiences, I'm sure you will.
 
What an awesome story, Ryleeranger, thank you so much for sharing and of course congrats, well done and give yourself a huge pat on the back! :jump::jump::jump:
I am so pleased to read how lovely your dentist was and how nicely he had lead you through your first appointment, sounds like you really had build some trust.

All the best wishes, do keep us posted and again thanks for sharing your story with us, it will serve as a huge inspiration to those at the beginning of their journey! :)
 
Ryleeranger,

Wow. this is so lovely and brave of you. To walk in knowing what faced your daughter with her work and then your others and yourself.. This takes such bravery and sounds like you found a lovely dentist and for sure very compassionate.. Our minds really do mess with us and our anxiety,avoidance only really aggravates things .. Glad you are taking positive steps forward. Keep us up to date on how you do with the fillings.. each step is positive momentum!! So happy for you!!
 
Thank you all so much! Your support means the world to me!
 
My daughter is 6 and hasn't gone. To that end, she is special needs and has high anxiety. I've talked to a local dentist and they assured me to just bring her in and they'd go from there. My son is 2 and they both have an appointment later this month. I'm praying nothing is too wrong for them. Brushing my daughter's teeth is a challenge. =\ My dental fear has absolutely been casted over her. I've begged my husband to take them but he has ADD and it is hard for him to focus and remember to make an appointment, take them, even when I remind him, etc. (Another issue for another board LOL).
 
My daughter is 6 and hasn't gone. To that end, she is special needs and has high anxiety. I've talked to a local dentist and they assured me to just bring her in and they'd go from there. My son is 2 and they both have an appointment later this month. I'm praying nothing is too wrong for them. Brushing my daughter's teeth is a challenge. =\ My dental fear has absolutely been casted over her. I've begged my husband to take them but he has ADD and it is hard for him to focus and remember to make an appointment, take them, even when I remind him, etc. (Another issue for another board LOL).

Best of luck to you!! You will feel such relief once you take your children. I am certain that the dentist will follow your daughter's lead and do everything they can to make her feel comfortable. My 8 year old that has had to have extensive work has not been diagnosed as special needs but she has many symptoms of sensory processing disorder and brushing her teeth is also a challenge. It takes a good 20 minutes of coaxing her in to allowing the dentist to proceed with any kind of treatment but they know this about her now and are very patient. If you don't get a good feeling about the dentist you take your child to, keep looking! Wonderful dentists are out there. If you have the chance to choose a pediatric dentist, I highly recommend it! Do keep us posted!
 
Just an update on my end. I had two cavities filled yesterday and a cleaning and it was a total breeze! I can't stress enough how wonderful my dentist is. He prescribed 10mg of Valium an hour before my appointment and that really took the edge off. He assured me that the rest of my teeth and gums look great, despite me asking him about several areas I thought might have an issue. I'm a bit OCD (and negative!) about my teeth and find it hard to believe that I don't need more work. I scheduled another cleaning in 6 months and now I need to call the oral surgeon I was referred to so that I can face getting my wisdom teeth out this Summer. Baby steps!
 
That's wonderful news - well done :welldone:!!

BTW, did you know that we have a dentist recommendations section here on this forum? If you prefer to remain anonymous and have one of our staff add your recommendation on your behalf, you can send your recommendation using our contact form (ideally, this will contain a description of how the dentist you are recommending has helped you with overcoming your fears, what they are like, and of course their name and contact details).

Hope you got a chance to celebrate :party:!
 
Congratulations.. being a breeze .. is a great thing!! Sounds both you and the dentist did a great job at that appt!! so glad to hear!!:welldone::perfect:
 
Back
Top