First Step

[DentalFearMom]

Hello All,
I have been reading about everyone's dental journeys for several months now so I feel like I know some of you I have not taken the first step to fix my teeth yet but know that I will need to soon.

I read a lot about people going through the current treatments but not a lot about those like me that haven't even made the first step.

I am just curious, what was the thing that finally "forced" you to start.

 

[thisisme]

Welcome DentalFearMom! You’re in great company.

I lost a filling in a molar seven years ago and that was when I first started to think about it. Seven years after that, the tooth cracked.

A few months after that, I was on vacation and realized I avoided doing certain things because I didn’t want to be in a picture. In one picture, I even noticed a small chip on my front tooth. Although, ironically, that is still not fixed, but I think that’s because it really isn’t a big deal. But to me, it felt like all my teeth were probably on the verge of falling out and it being a visible tooth, I started to panic.

When I got back from vacation, I made the call after avoiding the dentist for 16 years.

And it was all way worse in my head. The first call is so hard but it does get easier. 7 fillings and 1 wisdom tooth extraction later and my mouth is healthy again!

I wish you all the luck in conquering your phobia.

(Side note but if it helps at all, I tend to lean toward saying “treat” my teeth. Dental phobia sucks and fix implies we broke them. I hate thinking like that! Treat means getting them the help they need to be healthy again! ? Just a word choice but as a former phobic, saying the word treat over fix has helped me a ton!)

 

[BoxerMom]

Hi there!
For me, it was after we got home from vacation and I realized that my time that was supposed to be relaxing and peaceful was just miserable because of my teeth. I just couldn’t take anymore. Now, even though I knew I had to do something, I was so ashamed and scared that my husband had to make the call for me. I ended up having all mine extracted and got dentures. And I feel so so much better! I’ve mentioned in another post that my phobia was directly linked to the fear of pain that a dentist caused. But now that the source of the pain is gone, my phobia is much more manageable. You will know when the time is right for you. If you can, try emailing or messaging an office and feel them out for how they deal with phobic patients. Good luck, and keep posting, even if you just need to talk.

 

[Enarete]

Hi DentalFearMom ,

that's an interesting question, I don't think we have a thread about this and look forward to read the replies and indeed to read more about your own story. Glad you decided to post here now after few months of reading

The biggest moment for me was around Christmas three years ago. I am a psychology student and was studying for my module in psychological diagnostics. The chapter was about the use of questionaires and it also intruroduced a questionaire for measuring dental phobia. There was a small picture showing two items of the questionaire, it was something in sense of imagining sitting in a waiting room or in a treatment room and how do you feel at that thought. I got sick to my stomach just looking at those two items and this sickness lasted for the rest of the day. I needed few days to be able to grab that book again. That was when I understood this might be a serious issue.

It took eight more months until I grabbed that topic again, I was good mooded, felt courageous and thought "ok, lets face this, it can't be that much of a problem". That's when I started to research about dental fear and practices that might help. Needless to say it was one of the hardest, longest and slowest journey I have ever done and it felt more than awful all the way along. Also needless to say it was the best I could do and turned my life around in a very positive way.

How about you? What was it that moved you?

You said you haven't even made the first step, but you have read a lot and are here now so that is already a big
part of the way..

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Dentalfearmom,

First off I agree with Enarete. You have taken the first step and are on your way. Even just coming on here looking and reading stories but then to really reach out and ask for others stories to help.. this is huge..

For me, I've had pockets of time of avoidance due to Phobia bad experiences and embarrassment and shame. and the first time I really forced myself, I was in a very abusive marriage , hadn't had good care yet.. at 30.. my teeth were basically falling apart. I had a job interview. I was SO embarassed of my teeth.. hid my smile and was just in complete shame. I was able to find a really kind compassionate young dr. who was just starting her practice. She helped me make a huge decision of getting a lower partial on 5 front teeth. and a few root canals. I was scared to death but because of her kindness I got my smile back and felt alot better..though I would have loved a bridge or to keep my teeth at that point it was my best option and I had no money for anything else at the time. went to her for a while then had to leave due to personal reasons

There were other times after avoidance , either a dreadfully painful absess where I can't sleep and won't go away or a crown coming off randomly and pain or not being able to eat forced my hand to get back to the dentist.

I sure hope you find a very kind dentist to help you in your journey!! You are in the right spot her on DFC!!

 

[DentalFearMom]

Thank you all. I really wish I had found this forum 8 years ago when my first tooth broke. MAYBE I would have done something sooner. I was in my early 20s and thought for sure my mouth full of silver fillings and then a broken molar was the worst ever and was too embarrassed to make the call. Huge mistake.

Luckily, all of my broken teeth are on the bottom and my smile shows only top teeth so it hasn't really been a big deal. I also feel no pain at all and don't have any sensitivity to hot or cold.

My biggest issue is food avoidance and not eating enough. I have 3 back molars that have broken and recently have two front bottom teeth with a very small piece coming off. This caused me to no longer bite into anything because of my anxiety of what could happen. I only eat soft foods or things I can eat with a fork or spoon.

I just sort of feel stuck. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and to force me to go. I know that's not what I should be doing but I can't even watch toothpaste commercials without having anxiety.

I have a few dentists on stand-by for when I finally make the first step. I have also been researching all sorts of dental problems/procedures so the point that I feel very informed of anything that may come. Even looking up all types of dentures and implants. I also watch a ton of YouTube videos of people who have had things done. The fact that I can do this now without freaking out is amazing.

Hopefully I can be one that posts in the "Success Stories" in the future. But for now, the anxiety wins.

 

[Enarete]

I can see the push and pull in sense of wanting to go but also not wanting to. Actually scheduling an appointment is the hardest part for the most people and it is not unusual to have a gap of many months or even years between chosing to go and actually going. It seems to me that you already have done all possible steps that you could to get ready and that‘s great. Being able to watch and google stuff without freaking out is a great sign and only shows you that there is an impovement, even if you are not where you would like to be yet.

What you call the first step (I suppose you mean scheduling an appointment) takes a bit of courage and energy. I do not think it is a bad thing to feel you are not there (yet). After all, forcing yourself to get in touch with a practice while not feeling able to follow through (yet) doesn‘t lead to anywhere either. I am very confident that the right moment of you saying „I wanna do the next step now“ will come sooner or later.

Hope the practices you have found are nice and nervous patient friendly ones

By the way, may I ask what it is that worries you when it comes to the first step?

 

[DentalFearMom]

I can see the push and pull in sense of wanting to go but also not wanting to. Actually scheduling an appointment is the hardest part for the most people and it is not unusual to have a gap of many months or even years between chosing to go and actually going. It seems to me that you already have done all possible steps that you could to get ready and that‘s great. Being able to watch and google stuff without freaking out is a great sign and only shows you that there is an impovement, even if you are not where you would like to be yet.

What you call the first step (I suppose you mean scheduling an appointment) takes a bit of courage and energy. I do not think it is a bad thing to feel you are not there (yet). After all, forcing yourself to get in touch with a practice while not feeling able to follow through (yet) doesn‘t lead to anywhere either. I am very confident that the right moment of you saying „I wanna do the next step now“ will come sooner or later.

Hope the practices you have found are nice and nervous patient friendly ones

By the way, may I ask what it is that worries you when it comes to the first step?

Yes, I am referring to calling the office or going to a consultation as a first step.

I do not have any needle phobias or gag reflex but it is 100% of embarrassment.
--Thinking about opening my mouth for a dentist causes me the most anxiety.
--Being in my early 30s and having to tell my husband I may need implants or dentures --telling my husband how bad my teeth actually are
--potentially depleting our savings account to pay for treatment.