T
Tryingtoovercome
Member
- Joined
- May 31, 2017
- Messages
- 69
I decided to start a journal so that
1) I can look back on this
2) you can follow along with me
Other journals have been so inspiring to me and I'm hoping mine can be too!
So I'll start with a little background before I catch you up to where I am now.
I have dental phobia and have since I was 5. I have bad memories of dentist shoving X-rays in my tiny mouth and making me gag and having terrible bedside manner. So that kept me away for YEARS.
I decided in May 2017 (22 years old) to schedule my first appointment. I had a bottom molar on each side of my mouth with holes in them and hurt so bad to chew. I could barely eat. It was almost impossible. the appointment went well, I wasn't able to get all of the X-rays they wanted (they wanted a full mouth series and a lot of my dental phobia stems from gagging and not being in control so it just wasn't going well) so I settled for X-rays of the two bottom molars and a panoramic X-Ray and then a cleaning and exam. The cleaning went well because the hygienist was gentle and caring. The exam was okay as well however the dentist said I needed a root canal on each of those bottom molars and my wisdom teeth out before we could go further with any treatment at his office so he referred me out to an endodontist and an oral surgeon for those treatments.
that seemed like an impossible task. There was no way in hell I would let someone do root canals and take my wisdom teeth out. No way. I never got the courage to call the specialist and I left my mouth as is even though I was miserable most days, couldn't eat or chew on those teeth, wisdom teeth were hurting and infected. I didn't care. It was better than letting a dentist in my mouth.
June 2017
One of those bottom molars was hurting me so so bad. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get the pain to go away. I was absolutely miserable. I knew I had no other choice but to get it looked at. So I went to an urgent dental care office and they told me I needed a root canal. I asked the dentist if at any time I wanted to stop and just have it extracted would that be an option and he said yes. I felt in control of the situation so I told him to go ahead with the root canal and if it was too painful or uncomfortable he would stop. Long story short, I was able to get the root canal done on that tooth with no problem! It was painless and not nearly as bad as I had imagined. So I asked him if he would do the molar on the other side that needed it as well and he did. So by July 2017 I had both of my molars fixed and I could eat again!! It was so worth it and amazing. I never ever thought I could get a root canal let alone two ever!! But I still had a long way to go because I needed 3 wisdom teeth out, one being sideways, and then to finally tackle my treatment plan. But the thought of getting my wisdoms out scared me so much. It just seemed impossible. So even though they hurt me sometimes and were infected, I let it go.
January 2018
Couldn't take the pain of the wisdom teeth any longer. Went back to urgent dental care. They took my bottom right out with no problem. I felt soooo much relief and I was so proud of myself! What felt impossible ended up being so simple. I spent years in pain just for it to be resolved in a few minutes. I scheduled to have my other two out the next week. One being sideways so I was a little nervous about that.
a week later went to get the other two out. The sideways one had to be sectioned with a drill in half and then taken out in two pieces. As scary as that sounds, it was super easy. The top one came out with no issue and now I had all my wisdom teeth out!!!
If you were to tell me just months earlier that I would have two root canals and all my wisdom teeth out I wouldn't have believed that AT ALL!! I decided to get my treatment plan done at this place since I was comfortable here at this point. So next appointment was for cleaning and exam.
Treatment plan came back and there was a lot of work to do. 12 fillings, and front teeth needed crowned since they already had really big fillings in that wouldn't last forever. I decided to knock some of the fillings out.
so while the dentist was drilling one of the teeth he stopped and said, he's sorry but he had to drill way more enamel than he imagined and the tooth wasn't savable. He said it would need extracted and I could either do a bridge or implant to fill the gap.
for some reason, that event set me back. What was suppose to be a simple cavity filling turned into me losing my tooth and needing more extensive work done. Plus I got pregnant shortly after that so I never went back. The tooth is visible if I smile really big but normal smiling and talking it isn't visible so I wasn't extremely worried about it.
January 2021
I decide to tackle my dental issues again. Even though I was super scared, I knew if I just left things the way they were, they would only get worse. Plus I had some pain and pressure in my upper canine So I go back to urgent dental (they don't require an appointment you can just walk in which helps me because I HATE the anxiety of waiting for an appointment plus I knew it would be a different dentist this time since the dentist that messed up my tooth left ) and he says first things first, you need a root canal on your canine and the tooth behind it due to infection. Great. So he scheduled me in first week of February. Now mind you, I have a bad gut feeling about this dentist for some reason he just seemed so new and inexperienced and I didn't feel like I should get my root canal done by him. I told my husband even, that I didn't think he was a good dentist but then again I wasn't sure if it was just my anxiety getting the best of me and wanting me to chicken out so I showed up. Long story short, he started the root canal and got to the part where he's alternating working files with a drill and one snapped off in my tooth. So he closed the tooth and explained to me what happened and referred me to an endodontist.
it constantly feels like one step forward, two steps back at this point.
I muster up the energy to call the endodontist but they are all booked until March 16 so I take that appointment. In the meantime, I knew I had to find a dental home to complete my treatment plan so I decided to search the internet for a dentist that I felt I could go to. My requirements were the practice needed to be up to date on technology, credible, years of experience, and used digital impressions instead of putty because traditional impressions scare the crap out of me!!!
February 17
So I find one, and have a consultation. The consultation went well. They took a bunch of pictures and asked what my goals were. She said since my two front teeth need crowns and my canine and the one behind it will need crowns after my root canal with the endodontist, she just said it's best to crown my top 8 front teeth so they all match and with my history of decay it's best. I agree. Plus she's not the first dentist to suggest I need my front teeth crowned. So she schedules me for my first exam, full mouth series of X-rays and a cleaning. A two hour appointment.
I was sooooo nervous about this appointment. Super nervous about the full mouth X-rays and gagging, super nervous about what all my treatment plan will entail since I haven't had one in three years and didn't even finish that one, and just the shame and embarrassment since this place was so advanced and pretty I just felt I didn't fit in. But I was going to show up. And show up scared. Because I was determined to get my mouth in better health.
March 11
First patient appointment is here. Super super nervous. Wanting to cancel the appointment Atleast 10 times. Scared the X-rays will gag me, scared my treatment plan will say I need a million more root canals, scared I'll panic and look like a fool. But I show up scared (it's a reoccurring theme and statement here because I found a quote once that said show up even if you show up scared and I constantly repeat this to myself).
I walk in and they take me back and ask me how I'm doing. Usually I try to hide the fact that I'm nervous but I just read something on here the night before from a dentist that said to be honest and tell them you're nervous so they can better help you. So I did. I told them I'm really nervous. They were so gentle and kind and reassured me everything would be fine. The cleaning was first. I was shaking in the chair. The hygienist was so sweet. She asked me why I was nervous and I told her because of embarrassment and just loss of control and all of the tools and suction in my mouth is all overwhelming. She reassured me I have nothing to be embarrassed about. She's been doing this for 15 years and has seen many many mouths and she is not worried about the past we are going to focus on today and have a new start. She walked me through the entire process and the TVs were also a nice distraction. By then I was feeling a lot calmer. Next came X-rays. I told the assist I'm really worried about gagging so she's super nice and says don't worry I have a few tricks and we got through the X-rays okay! She was so sweet and calm, I couldn't have done it without her being patient with me and understanding.
last came the exam from the dentist. My treatment plan consist of
1)getting those two root canals done (scheduled with the endodontist for March 16)
2) get two molar extractions. One is broken the other has so much decay and is not worth saving plus it doesn't have its partner at the top so it's super erupting
3) five fillings
4) crowns on top 8 teeth from premolar to premolar.
5) implant for the missing tooth behind premolar. Could do a bridge but she doesn't want to compromise the other good teeth by shaving them down.
She said all of these aren't in any specific order as all of them are important to get done and probably want to use my insurance for the more expensive stuff before it runs out. So I scheduled to have two of the five fillings done next visit. I want to start small and kind of go from there
So I'm pretty much up to date now. I can't wait to document this journey. I just can't wait to get to the point where I'm going every 6 months for a cleaning. I can't lie, that seems so far away and almost in achievable but I'm just going to keep pushing....
so tomorrow March 16 I have an appointment at 9:20am to finish this root canal. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Ready for the root canal to finally be over but nervous as I always am before dentist appointments. Nervous that somehow he'll decide that he can't work around the broken file and I'll need to get it extracted. It's in the front so that would be devastating. I wonder will I ever NOT feel nervous before a dental appointment?
1) I can look back on this
2) you can follow along with me
Other journals have been so inspiring to me and I'm hoping mine can be too!
So I'll start with a little background before I catch you up to where I am now.
I have dental phobia and have since I was 5. I have bad memories of dentist shoving X-rays in my tiny mouth and making me gag and having terrible bedside manner. So that kept me away for YEARS.
I decided in May 2017 (22 years old) to schedule my first appointment. I had a bottom molar on each side of my mouth with holes in them and hurt so bad to chew. I could barely eat. It was almost impossible. the appointment went well, I wasn't able to get all of the X-rays they wanted (they wanted a full mouth series and a lot of my dental phobia stems from gagging and not being in control so it just wasn't going well) so I settled for X-rays of the two bottom molars and a panoramic X-Ray and then a cleaning and exam. The cleaning went well because the hygienist was gentle and caring. The exam was okay as well however the dentist said I needed a root canal on each of those bottom molars and my wisdom teeth out before we could go further with any treatment at his office so he referred me out to an endodontist and an oral surgeon for those treatments.
that seemed like an impossible task. There was no way in hell I would let someone do root canals and take my wisdom teeth out. No way. I never got the courage to call the specialist and I left my mouth as is even though I was miserable most days, couldn't eat or chew on those teeth, wisdom teeth were hurting and infected. I didn't care. It was better than letting a dentist in my mouth.
June 2017
One of those bottom molars was hurting me so so bad. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get the pain to go away. I was absolutely miserable. I knew I had no other choice but to get it looked at. So I went to an urgent dental care office and they told me I needed a root canal. I asked the dentist if at any time I wanted to stop and just have it extracted would that be an option and he said yes. I felt in control of the situation so I told him to go ahead with the root canal and if it was too painful or uncomfortable he would stop. Long story short, I was able to get the root canal done on that tooth with no problem! It was painless and not nearly as bad as I had imagined. So I asked him if he would do the molar on the other side that needed it as well and he did. So by July 2017 I had both of my molars fixed and I could eat again!! It was so worth it and amazing. I never ever thought I could get a root canal let alone two ever!! But I still had a long way to go because I needed 3 wisdom teeth out, one being sideways, and then to finally tackle my treatment plan. But the thought of getting my wisdoms out scared me so much. It just seemed impossible. So even though they hurt me sometimes and were infected, I let it go.
January 2018
Couldn't take the pain of the wisdom teeth any longer. Went back to urgent dental care. They took my bottom right out with no problem. I felt soooo much relief and I was so proud of myself! What felt impossible ended up being so simple. I spent years in pain just for it to be resolved in a few minutes. I scheduled to have my other two out the next week. One being sideways so I was a little nervous about that.
a week later went to get the other two out. The sideways one had to be sectioned with a drill in half and then taken out in two pieces. As scary as that sounds, it was super easy. The top one came out with no issue and now I had all my wisdom teeth out!!!
If you were to tell me just months earlier that I would have two root canals and all my wisdom teeth out I wouldn't have believed that AT ALL!! I decided to get my treatment plan done at this place since I was comfortable here at this point. So next appointment was for cleaning and exam.
Treatment plan came back and there was a lot of work to do. 12 fillings, and front teeth needed crowned since they already had really big fillings in that wouldn't last forever. I decided to knock some of the fillings out.
so while the dentist was drilling one of the teeth he stopped and said, he's sorry but he had to drill way more enamel than he imagined and the tooth wasn't savable. He said it would need extracted and I could either do a bridge or implant to fill the gap.
for some reason, that event set me back. What was suppose to be a simple cavity filling turned into me losing my tooth and needing more extensive work done. Plus I got pregnant shortly after that so I never went back. The tooth is visible if I smile really big but normal smiling and talking it isn't visible so I wasn't extremely worried about it.
January 2021
I decide to tackle my dental issues again. Even though I was super scared, I knew if I just left things the way they were, they would only get worse. Plus I had some pain and pressure in my upper canine So I go back to urgent dental (they don't require an appointment you can just walk in which helps me because I HATE the anxiety of waiting for an appointment plus I knew it would be a different dentist this time since the dentist that messed up my tooth left ) and he says first things first, you need a root canal on your canine and the tooth behind it due to infection. Great. So he scheduled me in first week of February. Now mind you, I have a bad gut feeling about this dentist for some reason he just seemed so new and inexperienced and I didn't feel like I should get my root canal done by him. I told my husband even, that I didn't think he was a good dentist but then again I wasn't sure if it was just my anxiety getting the best of me and wanting me to chicken out so I showed up. Long story short, he started the root canal and got to the part where he's alternating working files with a drill and one snapped off in my tooth. So he closed the tooth and explained to me what happened and referred me to an endodontist.
it constantly feels like one step forward, two steps back at this point.
I muster up the energy to call the endodontist but they are all booked until March 16 so I take that appointment. In the meantime, I knew I had to find a dental home to complete my treatment plan so I decided to search the internet for a dentist that I felt I could go to. My requirements were the practice needed to be up to date on technology, credible, years of experience, and used digital impressions instead of putty because traditional impressions scare the crap out of me!!!
February 17
So I find one, and have a consultation. The consultation went well. They took a bunch of pictures and asked what my goals were. She said since my two front teeth need crowns and my canine and the one behind it will need crowns after my root canal with the endodontist, she just said it's best to crown my top 8 front teeth so they all match and with my history of decay it's best. I agree. Plus she's not the first dentist to suggest I need my front teeth crowned. So she schedules me for my first exam, full mouth series of X-rays and a cleaning. A two hour appointment.
I was sooooo nervous about this appointment. Super nervous about the full mouth X-rays and gagging, super nervous about what all my treatment plan will entail since I haven't had one in three years and didn't even finish that one, and just the shame and embarrassment since this place was so advanced and pretty I just felt I didn't fit in. But I was going to show up. And show up scared. Because I was determined to get my mouth in better health.
March 11
First patient appointment is here. Super super nervous. Wanting to cancel the appointment Atleast 10 times. Scared the X-rays will gag me, scared my treatment plan will say I need a million more root canals, scared I'll panic and look like a fool. But I show up scared (it's a reoccurring theme and statement here because I found a quote once that said show up even if you show up scared and I constantly repeat this to myself).
I walk in and they take me back and ask me how I'm doing. Usually I try to hide the fact that I'm nervous but I just read something on here the night before from a dentist that said to be honest and tell them you're nervous so they can better help you. So I did. I told them I'm really nervous. They were so gentle and kind and reassured me everything would be fine. The cleaning was first. I was shaking in the chair. The hygienist was so sweet. She asked me why I was nervous and I told her because of embarrassment and just loss of control and all of the tools and suction in my mouth is all overwhelming. She reassured me I have nothing to be embarrassed about. She's been doing this for 15 years and has seen many many mouths and she is not worried about the past we are going to focus on today and have a new start. She walked me through the entire process and the TVs were also a nice distraction. By then I was feeling a lot calmer. Next came X-rays. I told the assist I'm really worried about gagging so she's super nice and says don't worry I have a few tricks and we got through the X-rays okay! She was so sweet and calm, I couldn't have done it without her being patient with me and understanding.
last came the exam from the dentist. My treatment plan consist of
1)getting those two root canals done (scheduled with the endodontist for March 16)
2) get two molar extractions. One is broken the other has so much decay and is not worth saving plus it doesn't have its partner at the top so it's super erupting
3) five fillings
4) crowns on top 8 teeth from premolar to premolar.
5) implant for the missing tooth behind premolar. Could do a bridge but she doesn't want to compromise the other good teeth by shaving them down.
She said all of these aren't in any specific order as all of them are important to get done and probably want to use my insurance for the more expensive stuff before it runs out. So I scheduled to have two of the five fillings done next visit. I want to start small and kind of go from there
So I'm pretty much up to date now. I can't wait to document this journey. I just can't wait to get to the point where I'm going every 6 months for a cleaning. I can't lie, that seems so far away and almost in achievable but I'm just going to keep pushing....
so tomorrow March 16 I have an appointment at 9:20am to finish this root canal. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Ready for the root canal to finally be over but nervous as I always am before dentist appointments. Nervous that somehow he'll decide that he can't work around the broken file and I'll need to get it extracted. It's in the front so that would be devastating. I wonder will I ever NOT feel nervous before a dental appointment?